shit that's painful

2 weeks ago on saturday i went on a pub crawl. ended up in old man cockney boozer where i fell asleep at the bar for 2 hours and earnt the nickname 'sleeping beauty'. we then had a lock-in during which i told the barmaid i loved her etc... (perhaps didn't make such a big a tit of myself given she came round for pancakes on shrove tuesday). around 4am we were told to leave discretely out the back door but were perplexed by a courtyard which seemed to have no exit. i said "not to worry" and promptly clambered up a 9ft fence before vaulting over the edge. i landed what can only be described as 'arrogantly' - bolt upright as if i was a super hero landing from space who'd make the concrete ripple at impact. in actual fact my heels gave in and i fell to the floor screaming (manly screams, i might add). my friend panicked and kicked through the rotten planks of the fence to get to me, then tried to assist me walking home. there follows not the most painful thing i've experienced but certainly the most grueling. about the 1/4 of the way he gave me a piggyback, and we fell over twice - my own body acting like a cushion - which has left me with nasty cuts on my right arm. the rest of the way i hobbled along on his shoulder in fucking agony, bellowing profanities and insisting we get a taxi to travel the last 60 metres. once back, we continued drinking in the kitchen where i also awoke the next morning. i had to crawl to the toilet, which was one of the lower points in my life i might add, and decided perhaps i should go to the hospital.

turns out the left heel is fractured whilst the right they're not sure about. both of the arches of my feet are big black bruises and im going for a catscan on the right this friday. im still determined to go to bloc....... but ill be missing this:

you can hop on my back like this if you want, ill be your legs until you get better

thanks for offering to be my automotive gimp but im building up my idm shoulders with hard crutching!

  Iain C said:

I've got a urinary tract infection which hurts like buggery quite often, but you can't really talk about it in polite company so you need to just grin and bear that shit. It's always worse if you've just ejaculated and then take a piss, but that's even further into "too much information" territory.

Have you tried drinking lots of cranberry juice?

  asymmetrical head said:

  takeshi said:

  asymmetrical head said:

both my knees are fucked up for i don't know what reason! when i wake up, i trot along like an old man... i think i fuckin' have arthritis or something!

Does it hurt more walking up or down stairs? If it hurts more going down you could have Chondromalacia. I've been having really bad pains in my knee and found out the other day this is what it is.

 

most of the pain i feel is in the morning... it feels as if it's the joint and surrounding tendons and muscles. i haven't tested out the stairs theory since i don't have steps at home... there's an area at work with stairs... i'll test that out tomorrow!

also... since november, i've been having a series of crazy ailments. around that time i've been having carpal tunnel symptoms and a stiff neck. i go to the chiropractor, and i had pinched nerves at the c1 vertebrae. i go to therapy and start feeling better, all of a sudden, i got a crazy cough around the beginning of december (which i STILL have). the carpal tunnel symptoms have gone away, my neck is feeling a lot better, but suddenly, the nerves in my middle fingers are screwed up which prevent me from making a fist, and opening a bottle have become a little difficult. i can't do push ups which is something i do every morning but i haven't been able to since november. i've lost about 25 pounds (which is something i've been wanting to do, but i wanted to do it the right way). and now, for the last month or so, my knees are jacked up!

i blame florida... i was completely fine in cali!

if you were doing pushups every morning perhaps you already do this, but... stretch, all your muscles, do a spot of yoga two or three times a day. gently, just a little stretch, nothing intense. look into bruce lee's thoughts on dietary supplements; i'm sure you can imagine the joint pain he might have gotten, and most of the supplements he took had to do with joint pain, muscular aches etc...

edit: for carpal, get a stress ball, keep it around and use it while you're on hold to tech support dept or somethig. and stretch your hands like i'm suggesting you do for the rest of your body. also, obviously, get wrist rests, calibrate your workspace to be more ergonomic...

  hahathhat said:

if you were doing pushups every morning perhaps you alread do this, but... stretch, all your muscles, do a spot of yoga two or three times a day. gently, just a little stretch, nothing intense. look into bruce lee's thoughts on dietary supplements; i'm sure you can imagine the joint pain he might have gotten, and most of the supplements he took had to do with joint pain, muscular aches etc...

 

edit: for carpal, get a stress ball, and stretch your hands like i'm suggesting you do for the rest of your body. also, obviously, get wrist rests, calibrate your workspace to be more ergonomic...

word... i have been doing some stretching in the evening. i've tried some yoga positions, but they hurt a little so i'm sticking to the streching for now. i've been icing my knees every night aswell before sleep. as far as carpal goes, i have modified my workspace to help me out a bit. i've even changed my posture at the chair and stuff. i should get a stress ball!

  Yegg said:

  Iain C said:

I've got a urinary tract infection which hurts like buggery quite often, but you can't really talk about it in polite company so you need to just grin and bear that shit. It's always worse if you've just ejaculated and then take a piss, but that's even further into "too much information" territory.

 

Have you tried drinking lots of cranberry juice?

Yeah, and plenty of pomegranate juice as well. Perhaps mixing it with vodka reduces the effectiveness!

  kaen said:

you can hop on my back like this if you want, ill be your legs until you get better

 

Master Blaster was awesome.

when you put your seat belt on in the car and hesitate while doing it, cause you're saying something or you're distracted, so you hold the belt still and it's barely touching the side of your neck, and then when you continue and pull it down further, it feels like you've burnt your skin or you've ripped out hair from your neck or chin you didn't even know you had, and you don't know why or where exactly it got stuck. you may think you're not familiar with this, but next time you'll notice.

  Terpentintollwut said:

when you put your seat belt on in the car and hesitate while doing it, cause you're saying something or you're distracted, so you hold the belt still and it's barely touching the side of your neck, and then when you continue and pull it down further, it feels like you've burnt your skin or you've ripped out hair from your neck or chin you didn't even know you had, and you don't know why or where exactly it got stuck. you may think you're not familiar with this, but next time you'll notice.

I don't wear a seatbelt, I have a car suit which is covered in small air tight suckers, and so is my seat, so that when I sit I am stuck to the seat like a bath mat would be to a bath.

  takeshi said:

  asymmetrical head said:

both my knees are fucked up for i don't know what reason! when i wake up, i trot along like an old man... i think i fuckin' have arthritis or something!

Does it hurt more walking up or down stairs? If it hurts more going down you could have Chondromalacia. I've been having really bad pains in my knee and found out the other day this is what it is.

i don't know... it feels the same both ways!

Mad max beyond thunderdome is batshit retarded. And i love it.

I cut myself cutting a breakfast bagel a couple mornings ago. It was like 1cm deep, not big deal, but i was still a little bitch about it.

  Iain C said:

  Yegg said:

  Iain C said:

I've got a urinary tract infection which hurts like buggery quite often, but you can't really talk about it in polite company so you need to just grin and bear that shit. It's always worse if you've just ejaculated and then take a piss, but that's even further into "too much information" territory.

 

Have you tried drinking lots of cranberry juice?

 

Yeah, and plenty of pomegranate juice as well. Perhaps mixing it with vodka reduces the effectiveness!

perhaps its not a urinary tract infection, but gonorrhea or chlamydia.

i was disappointed to learn the clap can be treated. Like seriously. ??

there's nothing quite like getting up in the morning to take a piss and having pus come out of your dick

ever had puss come out of your nipples?

no, no piercings. I have watched milk come out of my gf's newly implanted tits :(

  xxx said:

  lumpenprol said:

no, no piercings. I have watched milk come out of my gf's newly implanted tits :(

 

Wat?! Lumpenprol. Gf. Implants?...we've lost another one ;)

http://forum.watmm.com/index.php?showtopic...t=0&start=0

That loos like Zaphod, or at least thats how I picture him looking anyway.

i have long legs and whenever I scooch my chair in after sitting I tend to ram my knees into tidbits under the table... sometimes they hit that meaty spot in the knee and sometimes I have to hold back from getting sick for it hurts so much.

  idrn said:

2 weeks ago on saturday i went on a pub crawl. ended up in old man cockney boozer where i fell asleep at the bar for 2 hours and earnt the nickname 'sleeping beauty'. we then had a lock-in during which i told the barmaid i loved her etc... (perhaps didn't make such a big a tit of myself given she came round for pancakes on shrove tuesday). around 4am we were told to leave discretely out the back door but were perplexed by a courtyard which seemed to have no exit. i said "not to worry" and promptly clambered up a 9ft fence before vaulting over the edge. i landed what can only be described as 'arrogantly' - bolt upright as if i was a super hero landing from space who'd make the concrete ripple at impact. in actual fact my heels gave in and i fell to the floor screaming (manly screams, i might add). my friend panicked and kicked through the rotten planks of the fence to get to me, then tried to assist me walking home. there follows not the most painful thing i've experienced but certainly the most grueling. about the 1/4 of the way he gave me a piggyback, and we fell over twice - my own body acting like a cushion - which has left me with nasty cuts on my right arm. the rest of the way i hobbled along on his shoulder in fucking agony, bellowing profanities and insisting we get a taxi to travel the last 60 metres. once back, we continued drinking in the kitchen where i also awoke the next morning. i had to crawl to the toilet, which was one of the lower points in my life i might add, and decided perhaps i should go to the hospital.

 

turns out the left heel is fractured whilst the right they're not sure about. both of the arches of my feet are big black bruises and im going for a catscan on the right this friday. im still determined to go to bloc....... but ill be missing this:

 

 

that totally made me LOL!!!

  asymmetrical head said:

  takeshi said:

  asymmetrical head said:

both my knees are fucked up for i don't know what reason! when i wake up, i trot along like an old man... i think i fuckin' have arthritis or something!

Does it hurt more walking up or down stairs? If it hurts more going down you could have Chondromalacia. I've been having really bad pains in my knee and found out the other day this is what it is.

 

i don't know... it feels the same both ways!

Shit, man, might just be time to go to a doctor. Hopefully you have insurance.

  takeshi said:

  asymmetrical head said:

  takeshi said:

  asymmetrical head said:

both my knees are fucked up for i don't know what reason! when i wake up, i trot along like an old man... i think i fuckin' have arthritis or something!

Does it hurt more walking up or down stairs? If it hurts more going down you could have Chondromalacia. I've been having really bad pains in my knee and found out the other day this is what it is.

 

i don't know... it feels the same both ways!

Shit, man, might just be time to go to a doctor. Hopefully you have insurance.

does your knee look weird?

I hurt my knee really badly once playing football years ago and it's looked like this ever since

apparently it's called osgood schlatter's disease, although why it's a disease i've never understood. I think it's kinda settled into a fucked up knee now but the bit that stuck out used to be mobile and the tiniest knock would feel like someone taking a crowbar to my kneecap.