squarepusher props to big daddy joyrex on the mellifluous nature of this site

for a little over a year or so, my perpetual aol dialup free trial has been what i like to call comcastically de-nutted by the gods of telco... basically, here in the N/NW burbs of chicago we've had comcast landline phone services for 5+ years, and seeing as i have a technophobic/technoilliterate grandfather who's reactionary when it comes to all matters telecommunicational/media (example: "i've never had a cable box and i've had cable television, why do i need one?!@" despite the fact that aside from a $3/ish month charge to rent the box from them, we'd have like double the channels for the same exact price of we had a cablebox, we will never have a cablebox. just like he's never used an ATM or gone through a drive-through anything. he has his "streaks"

when comcast first provided phone service in the chicagoland area, they rented line usage from AT&T. about a year ago they finally finished up installing their own network thus enabling them to stop using AT&T, so when this was about they literally sent people door-to-door tryin'ta tell us about a massive networkwide "upgrade" that we all had to sign for, since they tweaked the conditions / features and pricing of their services since their fundamental infastructure underwent the change. this happened around the time my grandmother died, after a couple'a week period where it was totally inevitable and yet somehow she held on even without a feeding tube and the whole family got to hang out in this morbidly morose death-watch where everyone stood around a hospice room like "yep.... oh yeah"

finally they got through to us and preached their banalities about the upgrades, and a perfunctory search around a few sources revealed that they were setting up their own shop in terms of telco lines and because of the pricing changes they had to contact us opposed to just modifying the bill and whatnot, and finally things changed.

keep in mind, using AT&T's lines, for ~4 years i had been dialing up to AOL on a combined three different computers and enjoying the theoretical maxes of 56k modems. connecting at 115.2k and getting 5.5k/sec sustained downloads and well even tho yeah it sucked i had a cablemodem from 98-03 and when i worked at the library i was patched in through the village's main T1 and i always had bandwith and lived up to my electric messiah name.

however, once we got to the comcast lines a funny thing happened... all of a sudden despite my laptop modem still claiming 115.2kbps, i could only muster 1.1-1.2k/sec... another funny thing was that we couldn't get incoming calls, so we had to call the techs on that and they came out and did soem shit with the people at hte home office and fixed the glaring problems. i figured this would solve my dialup issues, however that was not the case. i called them up 3-4 different times like "hey, what the fuck?!@" and those bastards would play dumb and say "you need to check with your internet provider, because we show your lines as fine... by the way, did you know that we sell high speed internet and with your cable/phone services you could get a nice deal and rah rah rah"

well, my grandpa basically doesn't want a cablemodem in here. nevermind i've got the cash for everything, he just doesnt like boxes in the house and as such i cant go to a real connection. AOL basically said ti was on comcast because all of their other uers dial up just fine, and i've come to the conspiracy theory thing that comcast put in soe sort of a little intentional glitch or little tick on their lines that forces modems to use error correction to the point where they can only connect and sustain 14.4kbps, as my modem here on the desktop is honest and doesnt claim 115.2kbps ,moreover the actual 14.4 that i get, and using a newer/better modem with better error correction has enabled me to get the 1.5k/sec that i so richly deserve... 1.7k/sec is the absolute highest i've sustained on soulseek, and i thank god for that. you know it's an error correction thingy because most times sustained downloads crap out, and so many fucking times, especially when i've got bandwith allocated to one thing, the DNS lookup fails and a refresh without a page-loading/download will load it up, but basically its not even tat it does everythign slow, there's obvious packet loss and all kinds of things that makes me wanna scream. comcast reiterates that i need to talk to AOL and hey did we mention we sell internet?!@ these monkeys are trained.

one quick tangent: in this digital epoch we're moving to a day and age when you are being conditioned to having all of your media/information stored on remote servers and accessed through wi-fi/type things. voicemail is perhaps one of the greatest examples of this, for when these companies claim that you've got ubiquitous access and you can get to it anywhere anytiem anyhow and therefore it's >>> an answering machine at home, keep in mind that comcast is pulling a gmail and basically harvesting your answering machine, keeping it all on their servers so no doubt the NSA or someone can go and listen to the entriety of your answering machine/voicemail history if they feel so inclined.

when they "upgraded" our lines, comcast gave us a voicemail account. they never mentioned this a'tall, and when we found out it was only because it would click in after 4 rings or something, thus beating our answering machine to the punch. this was obviously set up on purpose, in order to hijack your answering machine and show you this voicemail and then you go "oh yeah this better" and go with it, the minutiae being that yeah it's technically stored there but more flexible and convenient. the theological problem i had is that they didnt mention this we didnt ask for it and by default it took over our answering machine shit. when i called them up on some ol WTF?!@ they kept on saying "but it's a free GIFT from us here let's tell you how it works and set up a pin #" and i'm like no no no no get rid of it and they retort "but it's a FREE GIFT from us, and it's far superior to an answering machine and so easy to use" and im like NO MOTHERFUCKERS JUST GET RID OF IT and they go "well let's set it up to pick up after 12 rings or something well beyond your answering machine so you can still use both and always have the voicemail in case of emergency" and im like NO WE DONT WANT THIS nad then after like seriously 15 minutes of arguing they said "ok that will be a $5 charge to disable the voicemail" i asked them what happened to the FREE GIFT and they said that they didnt appreciate my attitude.

that's the kind of business model these fuxrs use, they treat their users like little manipulate-able pieces of shit and try to stick you with all kinds of intrusive crap and if you say no they kick you square in the nuts and grab $5 from you cuz they're your media pimp, comcast, and they have a language which i call comcastian where you basically communicate only by saying the word comcast and people pick up on what you mean by your various inflections of the word comcast: to their credit, their advertising campaign strayed from saying comcast 50 times in 30 seconds and flat out saying "we're comcast. we're buying all of your media/telcom companies and taking over. we're new, but you're going to like us because we like you. we're comcast. eat it bitch"

OK TANGENTS ASIDE, i mention all of this because basically in this heap of comcastically-denutted shit, i have a miserable time using the web at home, hence my lambasting-worthy usage of public facilities such as libraries, and when i do use it at home i have to be really barebones and minimalistic.

over this last year+ i've seen so many websites get more and more flash/java/script oriented that it takes forever to load features are fucked and things take 3-5 minutes to load, a ridiculous amount of time even whe nyou've got like 90% of the website's core information stored in cache. as i languish with every site i attempt to use, i want to point out that the one site that works like a charm is indeed watmm.com.

it's so easy to take this place for granted and get caught up in the day to day banalities of the watmmassive community saying this and doing that, and if you've been here for awhile you get so used to the place that you never stop and think about all of the work that big daddy joyrex has put into the place in order to make the user experience as comprehensive friendly powerful and streamlined as possible. and while he's got easily the best messageboard i've ever used on the internet hands down bar none end of line / etc, i'm very impressed that a site with so much stuff going on here is able to load so quickly and consistently and even on a joke of an internet connection that hasnt had its glory days for approximately 15+ years, hell, even in 1994 you had 28.8 and 33.6k modems coming out and you could get that magical 2.8k/sec and 3.2k/sec connections and all, so like, going back to 1.5k/sec is just a fucking slap in the face and well, even with that said on a 14.4 the site here works brilliantly, and evne when there's a thread with youtube videos a-gogo and user added pictures and this and that, the bbs software doesnt choke trying to load that minutiae before finishing everything else, nope, it knows how to load up the brunt of the page and all of the text then worry about graphics, an afterthought if even a thought at all to the lot of you with post-darkages internet connections, however to me, this means the world because i can actually use a nice working powerful site withpout having to tone it down to the point of using one of those text-based unix shell web browsers.

as i try to reingratiate myself to the watmmassive community as i step forth and carpe diem on my communicational skills nad build up towards making raps/musics for the world, i value watmm as a place where i can check my progress with a commiunity of people who deep down i enjoy and respect for what they are, nichey sure and a lot of dumbasses, but beyond that there's a 10+ year community here chock full of the kinds of people i'd probably be good friends with if everyone didnt think i was a completely insane drug addled shit talking charlatan proletariat masquerading as a transcendental artist, minus the art the coolness or the being-interesting part.

i can't tell you how many times i've learned of various bands/outfits/softwares/etc from this place, or how when something in the IDM world comes out i'm ahead of the curve because someone was talking about it here, or when i make a track and show up in the middle of gendisc/genbanter and post it how quickly i get a bunch of responses, with only 80% taking the piss or trying to colorfully say that i suck and i'm not audiophile enough for their likes. i mean, as iv'e said once you've been around and you're an ex-lifetime-member when there was that group being recognized as a pillar of this community by my peers and overlords, really, you get so used to everything working so well and being so tightly run that you forget just how cadillac coupe deville this little digital fortress in the wilderness of life is, and when you come on to slag off on some little mug like weed or penexpers or whatever, or when you're swapping ch00nz in ekt and telling people why their music is boring hackish and amateur or ewven talking to peoples like global goon and getting mailed copies of family glue, or hell, even meeting v/v getting a copy of ultravisitor before the board had it whilst catching a ride down to the westside to cop rocks and blows, or smoking up saskrotch before squarepusher chicago 04, its one of those gems of hte internet that has earned its right as the greatest messageboard in teh history of messageboards, and i would like to take this opportunity to point out how great itis that i can show up at 2am on a thursday morning and even with my comcastically de-nutted connection carry on like a sociopathic cunt about the banalities of my life whilst copping valuable information/feedback for my future endeavors and keeping my fingers on the pulse of the electronic music world all from the convenience of my living room couch.

having been deleted from watmm once, though long ago, i know what its like to be without this place and whilst for the msot part i come off like i cant be arsed to post and be a part of the community here, still, i cherish it and respect it accordingly and wanted to take this minute to say i appreciate everything from the stone cold technology behind it and the people who work hard and often to keep things going as smoothly as possible, and i even appreciate the common whattemers who show up and carry on about the banalities of hteir day-to-day life and give me a place to try and flex my verballistical spunkshooter and see how many facials i can rack up in an hour, all the while secretly keeping the flow of information to my brain properly stimulated and maintained.

this is a wonderful bulletin board and community and i look forward to someday living up to my potential perhaps even becoming some sort of a star and at that point continuing on here to the point where my vapid mainstream fans are like "sinicalypse hangs out there?!@ you can talk to hi mthere?!@" and propping this place up even higher than it is now. one of these days i am really gonna take my shot at doing somethiing important with the raps/musics/arts/writings and hopefully establish a self-sustained life based off of my merits, its just that these days whilst i'm coddled like a little kid and supported by family to the point where i'm a far-overgrown little reponsibility-free kid, you know, i wanna say that wherever i'm going in life this place was a part of where i've been and my whole social interaction with the world, cuz while i'm still shy and timid and bad with eye contact and the very essence of a fo'real nerddorkputzfatloserdentalfloss, having this place in the digital sea where i can have the buffer zone of relative-internet-anonyminity and speak with freedom ease and comfort and perfect hte art of talking to people has been completely invaluable to me as i better learn how to communicate with human beings, and someday when i become a master practitioner of that fine art watmm will be a big reason why, so with all of that in mind i wanted to say AYE THANK YOU KIND SIRS and give this big wet sloppy blowjob to the place cuz posting 50 messages hte other night go the itch going and i hope i dont flake out and disappear cuz my mind is fucked up ad i'm a mindfuck and i often cant handle the self-questioning reprecussions of becoming extroverted and opening up my veritable-trenchcoat and showing the world my mental junk, eventually i'll be doing that for a living and in the end this will be perhaps one of, if not hte biggest reasons why.

FLAME ON, FLAME ACCORDINGLY, ZZZZ TLDR AND HAVE A NICE DAY!@$##@

# teh siniphexpushtechre acid krew on mars

  sinicalypse said:

TLDR

so basically, you are mad that you live with your grandfather and have dial up, and are super pissed that the phone company gave you free voice mail

i just realized you are the hiphop equivalent of the old stoner rock guy that never really learned how to play the guitar and lives in his parents house and talks about how one day he will be in a band and show everyone. except hes 40 something. and doesn't know how to play the guitar.

funny, i don't hear anything when i listen to this site...

  beneboi said:

so basically, you are mad that you live with your grandfather and have dial up, and are super pissed that the phone company gave you free voice mail

no, i'm not bitter about living with my grandfather... i'm here for a reason, afterall. he pulled me out of a pool when i was drowning at the age of 7, i'd be dead if it wasn't for him, so things have an odd way of working out.

i am miffed that comcast decided to fuck modems from achieving beyond 14.4kbps as a ploy to sell their high speed internet service, though, it's low class and evil and that combined with their little voicemail scam shows what they think about their customers: they're stupid little people who can be scammed cheated and duped into giving up money because basically they're small fish in a big pond that's owned by comcast, and really, they put you against the wall and say "what are you going to do!?@" and of course they win and there's nothing i can do about that, but i'll be damned if i dont always say "fuck you" til the day that i die.

that was just tangential meandering to get to the point that i have mad props for the way this site is constructed cuz with my shit-ass little connection this is the website that works the best out of them all.

and i love posting here with the lot of you, cuz basically, your guys ostentatious lack of writing skills make me look far far better than i actually am ;)

TLDR TLDR TLDR I JUST HAD TO SHOW UP AND SAY THAT I DIDNT READ YOUR POST, AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT.

once again, all the zzz tldr stuff is the equivalent of taking a dog who just shat on your rug (it really tied the room together, man) and rubbing his nose in it and being like BAD DOG, SEE WHAT YOU DID?!@ BAD DOG.

the problem is that deep down i'm quite the raging fecalpheliac =D

  beatfanatic said:

  sinicalypse said:

TLDR

shut up sini

you should get a job and move somewhere where you dont have to use your grandfathers dial up internet

i bet he isnt too happy to hear you bitch about it all the time anyway

holy jew balls that's a lot of text

  beneboi said:

shut up sini

 

you should get a job and move somewhere where you dont have to use your grandfathers dial up internet

 

i bet he isnt too happy to hear you bitch about it all the time anyway

fuck off, bebebw0yyyyy;kdasjfasdfasd

believe it or not every time i post this isn't some referendum on me and having people like you show up and tell me what i need to do. this isn't the "life advice with beneboy" or wait, you're artistically inflexive, beneboIIIIIII forum, nor was i even bitching about living with my grandfather, i was just stating the set of circumstances that blended into a whirlpool of synchronicity to purvey thee conditions requisite for this situation upon me.

believe you me, it'd be nice and cool to move on and quite honestly i could if i want. i've got 2-3 places where i could move into tomorrow if i wanted to, and i even have enough money to do it.

the thing is when i first came here off of the streets i had a raging heroin problem and i was kind of cantankerous and i ended up destroying a car, literally totaling it 2 weeks after spending $5k to fix it, and a few months before that some westside ghetto n1gg4 bilked us into giving him two grand for a barely-visible-dent cuz he had some family member who worked at a city job pull up our information and she showed up five large with his boys with some bullshit fake-invoice for $1895 worth of repairs.

i tell you this shit because i put my grandfather through a lot of shit. i enabled him to keep my grandmother at home until her death last march, so even tho i cost him likely $35-45k worth of money thoughout the years, thats cheaper than having her in a nursing home for the same time. now that she's gone and he's 93 adn the rest of our family is schmucks who only show up once a month cuz they care so much they like, you know don't care... i'm all the guy has. and now that i've got my life fixed up and i'm doing better and whatnot, sure o nthe surface he wants to get the validation that he fixed me up and i'm on my own standing sufficient, but i mean, he didnt renew his drivers license this year, so how would he go shopping if i wasnt here?!2 who would he have to talk to?!@

i'm all the guy has, and seeing as he physically saved my life in 1987 and more symbolically did it b taking me in at my worst in 2004 and not giving up on me when i was robbing him and smoking crack in the basement and getting his car impounded and calling him from cook county lockup, like, if i turn around now that i've got some shit togeter and go "so long and thanks for all of the fish" yeah i'd no doubt impress the benebois of the world and hey i could get more pussy and prolly move on the level of live-in girlfriend somewhere and my life would go forward, but i'd be ditching the man who basically took me in and wouldn't ever let me go, whether i was drowning in a pool or drowning in a sea of heroin-laced-depression.

so i'm not going to let him go right now.

so yeah lambast me and claim i'm bitter and bitching about it and remind yourself that you're so much better than dumbass little sini who still lives with gwand-puh and wants to be a widdle bw0y wif no responsibiwity and rah rah rah, but when it comes down to loving someone to the point of putting your life on hold to make sure that hte tail end of theirs is as good as it can be, evidently you don't know shit about that cuz gauging by your response you'd sooner go out and get an apartment and worry about your shit than making sacrifices for someone else who literally punched their ticket through the pearly gates just because they knew they were probably the last line of defense for you at your lowest points in life and they wouldn't let you go, no matter the amount of damage they took in the process.

my dad kicked me out of my house for BORROWING $600 from my little brother without he and my mom knowing.

my grandpa refused to kick me out when i stole something like $2500 worth of checks from him, aside from the $25k he's given me for bullshit excuses and the $15k of car damages/costs i've cost him within the span of 6 months at one point.

that should give you an idea as to why i'm not running out on the guy now that things are going well for me, i can't do it, i'm seriously watching a man i love dearly wither and die, especially now that his wife of ~63 years died last year and his last ohmygod connection to staying alive at the top of his game is gone, i gotta give him reason to live and i'm trying to do that.... i reckon you wouldn't comprehend that, i mean afterall it's gramma and grampa and if you're 29 and living with them you're obviously a giant fucking loser with no prospects for anything and you should run for your life cuz i mean, look at what YOU'RE missing out on...

get a clue, dude, then make some steaming piles of generalizations.

Oh snap. I believe I just witnessed a multi-paragraph serving.

i got served because sini steals money from his grandfather?

i wanna chill with your granddad! i love the old generation talking about "back in my day" and hatin' on technology! my dad is like that... but he's not even 60 yet!

  beneboi said:

i got served because sini steals money from his grandfather?

stop being a faggot

I'm surprised the greater Chicago area doesn't have more options for internet connections. I went through basically the same shit with Comcast here in my previous residence and it was a fucking fiasco, to be sure. In my current dwelling I use an AT&T DSL, which is obviously much slower than broadband, but I don't have to deal with Comcast and it has been surprisingly stable in comparison to my previous Comcast experience. We all make sacrifices.

not really correct usage of the the word mellifluous there sini, generally used referring to sounds or voices

he's weening himself off of "ostentaceous" with "melifluous"

lolifluous

  mrcopyandpaste said:

not really correct usage of the the word mellifluous there sini, generally used referring to sounds or voices

sorry you're wrong dood. don't mess with sini's grammatical prowess.

dulcet is more apt for sounds, tones, voices.

edit: to make me look correct

sometimes i feel like i'm reading david foster wallace

Too long, didn't read, crap thread, closed.

Would that be DR;TL;CT;C?