i went out tonight with my girlfriend

so me and my girl went out tonight to a cocktail bar in wimbledon village - it was sort of a work's do for my girlfriend's work and i was dragged along not particularly wanting to be there....in the end i drank a shit load of mojitos, had a good time and ended up dancing to old school rave tunes. she drank lots of red wine. i've just had to literally drag her out of a taxi coz she got completely fucking pissed out of her mind and couldn't even walk. i dragged her up to our apartment where she was subsequently sick, with only a small part of the sick ending up in the toilet. i've now cleaned up the sick on the hall carpet and managed to man-handle her into bed, remove most of her clothes and maneuver her into the recovery position to sleep it off. i've come into the living room to try and sort my head out as i'm pretty fucking pissed as well. i've got a spliff on and luckily enough, Jaws is on TV. so i'm watching that and hoping Helen doesn't have some kind of alcohol induced schizoid embolism.

WOMEN.

Ah, Love.

envmod

women be drinkin'

fucking well envmod. Quint off Jaws is brilliant. i'd better go and check Helen's not swallowed her tongue....

yall didn't sing "just a friend" on the way home?

    Quote

"anti shark cage?.......

 

you go in the cage?.....

 

 

cage goes in the water.

shark's in the water.

 

our shark.

 

 

he he he......farewell and ado to you fair spanish ladies........."

YR GIRLFRIEND GONN GET RAPED

i might just have a wank into her knickers

  BCM said:

i might just have a wank into her knickers

lol

Just count yourself lucky she wasn't being obstinate at the same time. For a while I dated a chick that would get drunk like this but she'd also try to fight me when I'd try to keep her from bumping into things or fighting people or puking all over everything. Of course, she wouldn't remember a thing the next day.

  BCM said:

so me and my girl...

So that's where you've been.

  takeshi said:

  BCM said:

i might just have a wank into her knickers

lol

 

Just count yourself lucky she wasn't being obstinate at the same time. For a while I dated a chick that would get drunk like this but she'd also try to fight me when I'd try to keep her from bumping into things or fighting people or puking all over everything. Of course, she wouldn't remember a thing the next day.

Was her name Tara? I think we dated the same woman.

yeah, she was being ok really.... a bit emotional.... two cabs refused to pick us up coz she was lying flat out on the pavement... they were like:

"is she with you?"

"er, yeah....sorry..."

*cab drives off*

so i had to manipulate her into a standing position and kind of hail a cab whilst making sure she didn't collapse. i eventually got her into one and she wouldn't sit on the seat, instead just crumpling up on the floor of the cab with her head on the seat. a number of times the cab braked suddenly and she was thrown violently forward and hit her head quite hard. i feel a bit guilty about this to be honest.

Next time, ask her to bring a wheel barrel if she plans on drinking.

envmod

Jaws is FUCKING BRILLIANT.

so's ENVMOD

Less Rohypnol next time.

  Gary C said:

Less Rohypnol, more envmod

yeah, rohypnol....... you only need a drop of that stuff

go for the butthole.

COHF

I HOPE YOU NAILED HER IN HER PASSED OUT STATE

  sneaksta303 said:

so's ENVMOD

Shut up Sneaksta.

watching jaws backwards is a movie about a shark that continues to throw up people until they open a beach

I had this in the week, it's quite annoying. Once when it happened my girlfriend was throwing up in the toilet and the seat fell down and smashed her in the face, it was hilarious!