Transfomers: Revenge of the Fallen

totally incomprehensible. woke from an ambien drenched sleep and decided to go see this with a ladyfriend i only seem to see once a year as an excuse to have sex. took a variety of painkillers and some codeine as i'm recovering from what might have been some kind of acute pneumonia and wandered out. didn't understand anything i saw. megan fox has the leathery tan of a forty year old cougar. i spent most of my time in the theater doing an impression of her while ladyfriend threw popcorn at shia labeouf's talentless face. eventually i was so desensitized to the special effects that i drifted into a pleasant coma and awoke to find that i had begun to piss my pants, so ran to the restroom. didn't end up having sex.

2/10

the first one wasn't even good though

  zaphod said:

totally incomprehensible. woke from an ambien drenched sleep and decided to go see this with a ladyfriend i only seem to see once a year as an excuse to have sex. took a variety of painkillers and some codeine as i'm recovering from what might have been some kind of acute pneumonia and wandered out. didn't understand anything i saw. megan fox has the leathery tan of a forty year old cougar. i spent most of my time in the theater doing an impression of her while ladyfriend threw popcorn at shia labeouf's talentless face. eventually i was so desensitized to the special effects that i drifted into a pleasant coma and awoke to find that i had begun to piss my pants, so ran to the restroom. didn't end up having sex.

2/10

hahahah you are the only person fit to review films

fuck michael bay so hard god fucking damn

i fucking hate shia laboueoueoeuef

  Fred McGriff said:

fuck michael bay so hard god fucking damn

evryone in here just went in and sucked michael bays dick and swallowed it

you guys are pathetic

  zaphod said:

totally incomprehensible. woke from an ambien drenched sleep and decided to go see this with a ladyfriend i only seem to see once a year as an excuse to have sex. took a variety of painkillers and some codeine as i'm recovering from what might have been some kind of acute pneumonia and wandered out. didn't understand anything i saw. megan fox has the leathery tan of a forty year old cougar. i spent most of my time in the theater doing an impression of her while ladyfriend threw popcorn at shia labeouf's talentless face. eventually i was so desensitized to the special effects that i drifted into a pleasant coma and awoke to find that i had begun to piss my pants, so ran to the restroom. didn't end up having sex.

2/10

Best Review

from the ebert review

  Quote

The action scenes can perhaps best be understood as abstract art. The Autobots and Decepticons, which are assembled out of auto parts, make no functional or aesthetic sense. They have evolved into forms too complex to be comprehended. When two or more of the Bots are in battle, it is nearly impossible to distinguish one from the other. You can't comprehend most of what they're doing, except for an occasional fist flying, a built-in missile firing, or the always dependable belching of flames.

yeah i thought that about the first movie. so much effort put into the designs, transformations and animations and then you can't see any of it clearly cos it all rattles around too fast.

these fucking critics that try to intellectualize summer blockbusters need a good ole douche nozzle up the backside. this film was fucking awesome, simple characters with a simple story on top of insane action that even topped the first film, frosted with some nice tits and ass on the side. if this isn't the definition of Americana, i don't know what is.

  Rubin Farr said:

these fucking critics that try to intellectualize summer blockbusters need a good ole douche nozzle up the backside. this film was fucking awesome, simple characters with a simple story on top of insane action that even topped the first film, frosted with some nice tits and ass on the side. if this isn't the definition of Americana, i don't know what is.

please read the noted intellectual Vern's review of transformers 1

http://outlawvern.com/2007/07/03/transformers/

when you're done tell me if you still think it's ok to tolerate utterly shit movies just because it's "summer"

what bugs me is... transformers robots in disguise. not exactly doing a good job at keeping a low profile are they... shezzuss!!

  Plum said:

what bugs me is... transformers robots in disguise. not exactly doing a good job at keeping a low profile are they... shezzuss!!

Indeed.

Also, it's nice to see you posting again, Mr Plum.

I agree with Rubin. I don't understand what people who disliked this were expecting, I went there wanting to see giant robots fights and megan fox and got plenty of both, and actually laughed at some of the jokes. Awesome.

  analogue wings said:

  Rubin Farr said:

these fucking critics that try to intellectualize summer blockbusters need a good ole douche nozzle up the backside. this film was fucking awesome, simple characters with a simple story on top of insane action that even topped the first film, frosted with some nice tits and ass on the side. if this isn't the definition of Americana, i don't know what is.

 

please read the noted intellectual Vern's review of transformers 1

 

http://outlawvern.com/2007/07/03/transformers/

 

when you're done tell me if you still think it's ok to tolerate utterly shit movies just because it's "summer"

fantastic. i had been dating this girl for a little while and we went our separate ways for school. i see her again a while later and shes like "transformers was great!" and I was like "what?" and she was like "wut its got giant stuff doing shit!" and i was like "yeah i'll go"

so i see that movie in theaters with a friend i guess and i thought it was complete fucking miserable garbage. misery. it's not that it was nonsensical. because i love sexy ass and explosions and shit (see "shoot em up"). i even enjoyed independence day, a lot actually. i like alien invasion movies for some reason.

but transformers was uh, fucking misery. pain. it was boring. the fights weren't cool. it wasn't imaginative, at all. independence day was imaginative. that huge spaceship that blew shit up? those scenes in new york with people running through the streets? that shit was awesome. it got your blood pumping, the kid in you started going crazy about it and whatnot.

but transformers was just dull. you couldn't tell what was going on. yeah, the robots and animation was "impressive" for the first minute, but after that i could give a fuck, honestly. and yes, it wasn't funny at all. it was boring as shit.

so when this girlfriend tells me that she thinks it's "awesome" (yeah that's the word everyone uses to describe it you know for instance:

"uhm, it's awesome, k? like, it's got megan fox and fucking robots! what more do you want? what were you expecting? etc" and you kind of feel this vague irritation inside of you because like that article said, Aliens was awesome, not this. Terminator 2 was awesome.)

so this ex girlfriend i basically realized some shit about it LOL

lol T2 is just as bad as this. aliens is not even an action movie.

i guess what makes all the difference is if you laugh at the jokes or not. i'm a bitter mofo and i laughed plenty. i was a bit drunk tho.

i didn't laugh at skids/mudflap proclaiming they can't read, but the rest of the theatre did, which i thought was fucking hilarious.

More of the same which is good for Megan Fox but also bad with even more cheese although I was kinda expecting it this time it was a bit easier to digest. Although the humor had much better timing the film lacked the WOW factor of the first and we seemed to get too many familiar scenarios that worked well in the first that didn't have as much impact a 2nd time round (I was very stoned tho) .

Not sure about the Star Wars and Lord of the Ring similarities as it seems to be straying further from the original ethos and story but the Jetfire and rocketpack were nice touches.

Overall very entertaining but certainly not a classic.

yEAH WHY the fuck is it that the TITULAR aspect of this film franchise, TRANSFORMING actually looks like a pile of blurry shit on screen. Twhen they are fighting with eachother it looks cool but the actual parts where they transform into a car or back into robot form look like 200 fps blur explosions. IF there was some skillfull CGI animation going on during those parts it was completely undetectable to the human eye.

  GORDO said:

I agree with Rubin. I don't understand what people who disliked this were expecting, I went there wanting to see giant robots fights and megan fox and got plenty of both, and actually laughed at some of the jokes. Awesome.

well I for one was not expecting Joe Pesci talking arobots and racist robots with gold teeth. That kind of took it over the edge for me into 'what the fuck are the self aware of how this seems like Carlos Mencia?' i couldn't really understand the movie's purpose. if it was to make one laugh it didn't succeed

  zazen said:

from the ebert review

 

  Quote

The action scenes can perhaps best be understood as abstract art. The Autobots and Decepticons, which are assembled out of auto parts, make no functional or aesthetic sense. They have evolved into forms too complex to be comprehended. When two or more of the Bots are in battle, it is nearly impossible to distinguish one from the other. You can't comprehend most of what they're doing, except for an occasional fist flying, a built-in missile firing, or the always dependable belching of flames.

 

yeah i thought that about the first movie. so much effort put into the designs, transformations and animations and then you can't see any of it clearly cos it all rattles around too fast.

well thats what its all about isnt it? just having enough cool looking trailer footage and still promo shots to sell the movie to the masses, then when its actually had the finishing touches put on the boss runs into the CGI artists offices and screams 'OK GUYS we have the green light to go blurry, now work fast we only have 1 week to do this post production'

  GORDO said:

aliens is not even an action movie.

wat?

  Awepittance said:

  zazen said:

from the ebert review

 

  Quote

The action scenes can perhaps best be understood as abstract art. The Autobots and Decepticons, which are assembled out of auto parts, make no functional or aesthetic sense. They have evolved into forms too complex to be comprehended. When two or more of the Bots are in battle, it is nearly impossible to distinguish one from the other. You can't comprehend most of what they're doing, except for an occasional fist flying, a built-in missile firing, or the always dependable belching of flames.

 

yeah i thought that about the first movie. so much effort put into the designs, transformations and animations and then you can't see any of it clearly cos it all rattles around too fast.

 

well thats what its all about isnt it? just having enough cool looking trailer footage and still promo shots to sell the movie to the masses, then when its actually had the finishing touches put on the boss runs into the CGI artists offices and screams 'OK GUYS we have the green light to go blurry, now work fast we only have 1 week to do this post production'

This was also a problem with the 1st one especially in crappy none digital cinemas but it looked tons better on blu-ray imho.

  Awepittance said:

yEAH WHY the fuck is it that the TITULAR aspect of this film franchise, TRANSFORMING actually looks like a pile of blurry shit on screen. Twhen they are fighting with eachother it looks cool but the actual parts where they transform into a car or back into robot form look like 200 fps blur explosions. IF there was some skillfull CGI animation going on during those parts it was completely undetectable to the human eye.

 

  GORDO said:

I agree with Rubin. I don't understand what people who disliked this were expecting, I went there wanting to see giant robots fights and megan fox and got plenty of both, and actually laughed at some of the jokes. Awesome.

 

 

well I for one was not expecting Joe Pesci talking arobots and racist robots with gold teeth. That kind of took it over the edge for me into 'what the fuck are the self aware of how this seems like Carlos Mencia?' i couldn't really understand the movie's purpose. if it was to make one laugh it didn't succeed

Product placement perhaps? :on2long:

  Adjective said:

the 80s animated movie was the one that got it right

 

I see and I raise.

Love Diggler