things you do that make you feel like an asshole

yesterday i put ketchup and mustard on little microwavable mini burgers i made at like 3 in the morning. i dunno, i just felt like a slob for taking the time to put condiments on frozen food. your turn.

I honestly can't believe no one has responded to this thread after all these hours.... hmm... let us see...

back in 2000, i used to go to work on DXM... a good solid 2nd plateau...

I have so so so many but am afraid to share 'em, as they are quite incriminating........

i can't have a proper conversation with a wimminz without hitting on her

  On 8/7/2009 at 1:57 PM, Georges Bataille said:

i can't have a proper conversation with a wimminz without raping her, and consequently, she never returnz my callz

fixt

I have this habit of tying knots in the sleeves of peoples removed garments when they arn't looking (in bars, parties, wardrobes etc) I have ruined many nice jumpers this way, but you can't beat the puzzled look on the face of someone flapping their arm like a baby puffin as they try in vain to get their arm into a coat.

Its a shitty thing to do but I can't stop doing it.

  On 8/7/2009 at 2:06 PM, Etch said:

I have this habit of tying knots in the sleeves of peoples removed garments whe..

someone might get you back you know.

I pretend that I don't get people's sarcasm for the sake of my own entertainment. This infuriates my girlfriend but I can't seem to stop doing it.

  On 8/7/2009 at 2:47 PM, patternoverlap said:

I pretend that I don't get people's sarcasm for the sake of my own entertainment. This infuriates my girlfriend but I can't seem to stop doing it.

lol i like that... going to try it today...

watmm

i dislike sarcasm greatly.

fuck. things i do that make me feel like an asshole? the list is ever growing. i hate myself more and more with every passing hour. i sometimes wonder if i am not a soulless black hole. ok maybe that's a huge exaggeration.

for one i have the inability to love anything. maybe i just haven't met the right girl. i'll tell girls things like "i really like you" and "i love you" when i have no real feelings inside, apart from maybe an interest in their personality. it's twisted, because I really do like some of these girls but I have no sex drive and no passion in me at all. it's really shitty.

for instance the last girlfriend i broke up with threatened to kill herself. fucking bs in my book, we hadn't had sex in months because sex makes me feel scared and alone.

ok here's one that fucks with my head:

i fantasize about my friend's girlfriend. shes so fine and she stares me in the eyes for long periods of time. it's bullshit. i don't want to fantasize about her! but she makes me. and i'm not about to make any moves.

ok here's one:

sometimes thoughts of sexual nature and violence pop into my head at random. what's that all about? one second i'm at a family dinner, the next second WHAM penis penis penis penis penis

whenever bleeding, i smear my blood on adjacent surfaces to gross out people around me for entertainment.

everything

  On 8/7/2009 at 4:17 PM, Pennywise said:

everything

do tell

  On 8/7/2009 at 4:12 PM, vamos scorcho said:

for one i have the inability to love anything. maybe i just haven't met the right girl. i'll tell girls things like "i really like you" and "i love you" when i have no real feelings inside, apart from maybe an interest in their personality. it's twisted, because I really do like some of these girls but I have no sex drive and no passion in me at all. it's really shitty.

i'm a bit like that these days. i feel terribly lonely when single, but when i'm actually with someone it's almost like i don't know what to do. it's like i'e forgotten how to show affection

my boss and i were hanging out at a bar and he offered me $200 to fuck a girl who was sitting with us. she was very heavy, but she was into me from the start and it would have been easy money. i flirted with her while i evaluated the situation but in the end decided i didn't really want to put up with another weird one sided relationship and someone's hurt feelings. apparently since then she's been asking another girl we were with about me. i just hope she doesn't find out the reason i was hitting on her was because i might have gotten paid for it. that whole night made me feel like an asshole, but not as much as i would have if i had done it i guess.

really the biggest thing I do that makes me feel like an asshole is talk about people behind their backs.

The problem is your friend will go and do something wholely retarded and you just need to rave about it a little bit to another friend who is in the same boat. I dunno, I don't really feel its that bad because I would not really care if my friends were talking shit about me behind my back so long as it was justified and they werent doing it all the time.

Peeing directly in the water instead of letting the stream bounce off of the ceramic makes me feel like an asshole.

i shouted and sweared at my mum today

i have broked my ankle and was in bed when the phone started to ring, it rang and rang and rang for about 3 minutes as i don't have an answering servise, i got out of bed, slid down the stairs on my ass and answered the phone with "FUCK SAKE MAN WHIT IS IT, ARRRRGGGGHH, MA FUCKIN FOOT IS AGONY HERE AND YOUZ BASTARDS WON'T GET AFF MA PHONE" to which i got the reply, "Hi Son it's me, just to let you know your dad is on his way up with some supplies"

I was convinced it was some cold calling cunt as it had rung for so long.

Made me feel like an ungrateful arsehole indeed.

Thing is, the supplies that arrived were made me chuckle a wee bit and feel even more of an ungrateful arsehole

Good things. - 6 cans of sprite, food for the cat, oven chips and bottle of ketchup.

funny things - mr muscle kitchen cleaner, couple of them block things you put in the cistern of the toilet and 12 bog rolls.

poor old mum was just trying to help and i reacted like a total arsehole but it's all cool, i put it down to the cabin fever and rage i am experiencing at being housebound.

She understood and accepted my appology and we had a chuckle about it, it's all cool.

I never remember to ask for a number when I meet wimminz. I feel like an asshole ten seconds later when I realize.

  On 8/7/2009 at 4:30 PM, ezkerraldean said:

  On 8/7/2009 at 4:12 PM, vamos scorcho said:

for one i have the inability to love anything. maybe i just haven't met the right girl. i'll tell girls things like "i really like you" and "i love you" when i have no real feelings inside, apart from maybe an interest in their personality. it's twisted, because I really do like some of these girls but I have no sex drive and no passion in me at all. it's really shitty.

 

i'm a bit like that these days. i feel terribly lonely when single, but when i'm actually with someone it's almost like i don't know what to do. it's like i'e forgotten how to show affection

blame the internet

looking in the mirror

I do mean things to my roommates, this morning I smooshed one of those big shit eating flies with one of their bathrobes.

  On 8/7/2009 at 5:43 PM, assegai said:

I never remember to ask for a number when I meet wimminz. I feel like an asshole ten seconds later when I realize.

this is offset only by the feeling of relief that the ladies feel once you've finally walked away. yin and yang man, life's gotta balance.

Just got cross with my mum and told her to "beat it" a couple of times cause she knocked on my door then came in despite my saying "not a good time, go away" and commented "there's that smell in here again" to which I replied "well thats what you get!".

Oh and I'm 'moving' weed from home. So that's two things.

You should have more respect for your parents, young man. At least whilst you're living at home.