things you do that make you feel like an asshole

  On 8/7/2009 at 5:06 PM, ericsosh said:

Peeing directly in the water instead of letting the stream bounce off of the ceramic makes me feel like an asshole.

i'm very conscious of this as well

there's a scrap metal company called C&D Scrap Metal and they are mildly famous around here for "paying you in two dollar bills." anyway they just had a commercial for a Congo charity thing and Dikembe Mutombo did a cameo holding a bunch of money and said "are these all two dollars bill?" i laughed at his phrasing and felt like an asshole

i love you dikembe

  On 8/13/2009 at 11:59 AM, Iain C said:

You should have more respect for your parents, young man. At least whilst you're living at home.

Sure, can't argue with that - but where is the respect for my privacy? She wouldn't have been dissapointed or yelled at if she had come back in 3 or 5 minutes. Goddamn, I could have been whacking it

She could smell your disgusting drugs (I presume that's what you were doing) and probably wanted to confirm it. Are you allowed to smoke in the house? Go outside man. You sound like my little brother before he moved out.

  On 8/13/2009 at 1:49 PM, Iain C said:

She could smell your disgusting drugs (I presume that's what you were doing) and probably wanted to confirm it. Are you allowed to smoke in the house? Go outside man. You sound like my little brother before he moved out.

No goddamn it. I wasn't smoking or doing them, I was getting some shit together and its potent ass weed. She wasn't coming in to complain though she was coming in to remind me for the third time to call my Aunt and give her free tech support for her computer which I already said I didn't want to do but would do, so I didn't appreciate the forced reminder.

I'm not allowed to smoke in the house and I don't. Fuck man, how square do you want to sound

Whatever, at least I don't break the law like a criminal.

i was about to call Iain a "dag", but according to urban dictionary, Space Coyote is more likely to be a dag.

from neighbours i thought a dag was stuffy/formal, but apparently they're unkempt and informal

I resent my friends' succes.

ALso it seems like it's impossible to talk nicely to my father. Like i'm stuck in teenage mode when i talk to him.

  On 8/13/2009 at 3:21 PM, GORDO said:

ALso it seems like it's impossible to talk nicely to my father. Like i'm stuck in teenage mode when i talk to him.

I have this one. We just can't communicate very well. Being camp as fucking Christmas doesn't help, he's kind of conservative.

  On 8/13/2009 at 2:12 PM, Iain C said:

Whatever, at least I don't break the law like a criminal.

yeah space coyote you are society's fucking shit stain

me and my father are both terrible conversationalists and generally awkward people. recipe for awesome

  On 8/13/2009 at 3:58 PM, xxx said:

  On 8/13/2009 at 3:26 PM, Iain C said:

  On 8/13/2009 at 3:21 PM, GORDO said:

ALso it seems like it's impossible to talk nicely to my father. Like i'm stuck in teenage mode when i talk to him.

 

I have this one. We just can't communicate very well. Being camp as fucking Christmas doesn't help, he's kind of conservative.

 

Are you talking about the vampire walrus? I can't remember if you and Gary are brothers or cousins. Trying to keep my C mythos correct.

 

PS: Have we made an "awkward father-son" thread before? I guarantee 250% response--50 pages in the first day

Haha yeah, that's not my dad. Gary's parents are sterling people though.

i spoke to my dad the other day, on the phone, haven't spoken to him for months. he said that i'm usually bad on the phone (i'm mostly fine on the phone when i'm not talking to a person who i know is judging my phone talking abilities ever since i spoke to him when i was sleepy or something, or he sounded drunk, among other things*), but that i was being clear this time. i was like yeah, i have a fear of phones i suppose, and he said he does too actually, and i was like, yeah. *he knows he's deaf, and that the phone line is quiet, but doesn't realise that can make conversation a bit difficult.

Shaving Iain C's balls in return for Alex C's head.

i piss in sinks

keep that in mind when i stay at your house

i don't respond to my friends on facebook most of the time

  On 8/15/2009 at 6:59 PM, yek said:

i don't respond to my friends on facebook most of the time

You think thats cuntish? lol

  On 8/15/2009 at 11:59 PM, abusivegeorge said:

  On 8/15/2009 at 6:59 PM, yek said:

i don't respond to my friends on facebook most of the time

 

You think thats cuntish? lol

it is. I hate that shit. I respond to nearly every myspace/failbook shit I get. It helps that I get about 1 notification a day. I be loser.

  On 8/16/2009 at 12:15 AM, sneaksta303 said:

  On 8/15/2009 at 11:59 PM, abusivegeorge said:

  On 8/15/2009 at 6:59 PM, yek said:

i don't respond to my friends on facebook most of the time

 

You think thats cuntish? lol

 

it is. I hate that shit. I respond to nearly every myspace/failbook shit I get. It helps that I get about 1 notification a day. I be loser.

Oh yeah don't get me wrong man, it's fucking annoying, I was just referring to the fact thats the best he could come up with.

oh, I see your point. Hmmmmm..... At work today, I dropped a huge unwrapped bologna on the floor, made sure no one saw, then picked it up, dusted it off, and back in the case it went. I pity the poor fools who wants their bologna today. I hope someone dies from it.

  On 8/7/2009 at 1:57 PM, Georges Bataille said:

i can't have a proper conversation with a wimminz without hitting on her

that's fucking pathetic

i continue to nag my girlfriend about having anal sex

  On 8/16/2009 at 3:32 AM, affliction said:

i continue to nag my girlfriend about having anal sex

we've all been there buddy. just tell her, "turds come out of your ass babydoll, that are WAY bigger than my dick. So how does that happen? LUBRICATION. Your anal cavity is lubricated. The trick is to get the dick as lubricated as the anus. shit, put lube IN the anus. It's worked for me 5 times.

EDIT: hurds instead of turds

I used my friend's hair clippers to trim my pubes...but only the once. I never told him.

The thing that I just can't seem to stop doing is yelling "exercise" at fat people.

  On 8/13/2009 at 2:12 PM, Iain C said:

Whatever, at least I don't break the law like a criminal.

You're gonna die outta cancer, I promise

You think all laws are just? Jesus, you're a useful idiot. What are you, like 40+ in age?

*2x Tool references

boo tool. booooooooooooooooooooo tool.