If you had the funds for your own nightclub...

  On 8/10/2009 at 5:01 AM, modey said:

i hate nightclubs so mine would be a quiet licensed cafe with mismatched couches everywhere. amazing coffee, obscure beers, antipasto platters, quiet live music, and rjdj hooked up to the main speakers when bands aren't playing so warped versions of conversations echo throughout the venue.

Sounds like my kind of place really, since I hate clubs too :p

i'd spend the money on something else

  On 8/10/2009 at 5:01 AM, modey said:

...and rjdj hooked up to the main speakers

my life has begun!

  On 8/10/2009 at 2:11 AM, Brian Tregaskin said:

crazy frog is the only music allowed

this.

But seriously though, I would want to make a huge ball room like in the kiddie play pens

it'd be on a rotating platter on an oil rig in the ocean and a giant crane would act as a stylus playing a giant record that you dance on.

^ people would be drunk though and bump the needle

they'd get killed, the needle is like fifty feet tall and made of bone

oh shit i forgot

  On 8/10/2009 at 1:06 AM, joshier said:

If you had the cash to have your own custom built night club, what stuff would you have? how would you run it? etc

well the first thing i'd do is put in water slides. i have seriously yet to ehter the bar that could not be drastically improved by a couple'a water slides, especially the closer you are to the equator.

secondly, i'd have badass music. i would say "if you're needing something popular to feel comfortable in my hedonistic wonderland then you're not the kind of person that really belongs here" at first your investors would be like FUCK YOU, but with the proper vision and artistry you'd kill in the middle to long term. you'd be a place with standards. maybe even put up a "fuck off lindsay, you sad hag" sign just to really let the world know where you stand in terms of where you're trying to take this place.

deloreans would be involved. then again, once i get like enough beyond $25k to be able to breathe for a week i'm getting a fucking delorean. it's the key to the proper entrance of any sort of musically-endowed evening.

i'd probably geek out on some european brews and make sure that i told my barentenders to lose a little in terms of overserving the top shelf shit, but let people know that if you toss down the money you'd better have a designated driver. the club is an archetype made legendary though countless years of shitty rap, people with boringass 9-5 jobs dream of that night where they show up with their wad of disposable cash and do whatever it is they gotta do to get with whoever they wanna fuck and i mean god bless them, it literally keeps the world turnin round. that said, my goal would be to establish this not necessarily as the hippest place ever, but a place where you know you're gonna get faded and hey maybe if you open up your ears some you'll learn something about the way music oughta be.

i'd have to find a way to get away with a weed smoking dojo. i mean if you're a prominent enough member of the local community nobody will fuck with you for weed anyays, as long as you're not flagrantly "i rule the world" ;about it.

and then.... hmm. i'm thinking i tie a bunch of electricity dispensers electrodes or whatever the fuck you need to install in the floor to the floor so i can give the dj the option of executing anyone who sucks at dancing. seriously, it'll make the true talent rise to the top =D

mirrors everywhere

little steps and uneven floors so people will trip

lots of weeping hysterical women

bouncers are vampires

free bibles when you leave

dogs in the toilet cubicles to keep you company

sometimes it would rain inside

room for each genre

funktions for the techno room

voids for the bassy rooms

really really good audiophile mega-hifi setup for the quieter rooms

bouncers would be werewolves

ludd you just described the berhain

58 rooms, each in its own parallel dimension. Music ranging from Quantum Leap to Peters and Lee. Resident DJs Cliff Adams and Leee John.

Hoffmeister, Skol and Hemeling Lager only sold on tap. Gold Label cans and Party Sevens also available. Minimum 75 units of alcohol to be consumed before being allowed to leave.

Holographic bouncers.

No admission for women under 55.

Penthouse. 3 rooms (Electro, Minimal, IDM). Large bodies of water inside and outside (on the rooftop).

  On 8/10/2009 at 1:06 AM, joshier said:

If you had the funds for your own nightclub...

i would invest it in something that would actually make me money .. hahah

Also, the walls would all have windows of hotel rooms which you could rent.

i'd rather run an arcade with a big ass basement for shows

arcade as in strip mall with an hallway with regular tenants like ali the barber .. and mrs. white of wedding's intimate .. giving a regular income ... (good idea .. commercial site with no noise control problems and no business' to annoy at night ..

or arcade as in amusement parlour ..with zero earnings potential .. dying the death of 1000 ps3's ..

main dancefloor within a vacuum chamber; access through airlocks; bouncers are vikings

• club is a giant black cube
  
• the inside is a giant black cube
  
• the tables are black cubes around the perimeter of the interior and on a second floor wrap around balcony that overlooks the floor
  
• the dj booth/stage is a black cube in the center
  
• the floor is divided up into squares, each of which is a controllable light. this will be the only light source in the club.
  
• the bathrooms are pitch black
  

Rape room

You go in there and you get raped, then you can rape someone else

  On 8/10/2009 at 9:21 PM, patternoverlap said:

• club is a giant black cube
• the inside is a giant black cube
• the tables are black cubes around the perimeter of the interior and on a second floor wrap around balcony that overlooks the floor
• the dj booth/stage is a black cube in the center
• the floor is divided up into squares, each of which is a controllable light. this will be the only light source in the club.
• the bathrooms are pitch black

• the dj is a black cube

the bouncers are black cubes

A+ thread

  On 8/10/2009 at 9:41 PM, Brian Tregaskin said:

  On 8/10/2009 at 9:21 PM, patternoverlap said:

• club is a giant black cube
• the inside is a giant black cube
• the tables are black cubes around the perimeter of the interior and on a second floor wrap around balcony that overlooks the floor
• the dj booth/stage is a black cube in the center
• the floor is divided up into squares, each of which is a controllable light. this will be the only light source in the club.
• the bathrooms are pitch black

 

• the dj is a black cube

the inside of the dj is a black cube.

PUT.

A.

DONK.

ON.

EVERYTHING.