jokes thread

A man is having a costume party where the theme is emotions. He hears the doorbell ring, opens the door and there is a girl dressed all in pink with a feather boa. The guy asks "what have you come as" the Girl answered "I'm tickled pink!". "Nice one!" says the host. "Come on in and have a drink".

5 minutes later he hears the doorbell again and there is a guy dressed all in green. "What have you come as" the host asks. "I'm green with envy" he says. "Haha! Brilliant! come in and have a drink."

5 minutes later the doorbell rings again the man opens it and there are two big Jamaicans standing there naked one with penis in a bowl of yellow stuff, and the other one with his penis jammed inside a pear. Shocked, the host says "What the!!?? What the hell have you come as?!" One of them answers "Well mon, I'm fucking dis custard and he's come in dis pear!"

  On 10/31/2009 at 1:33 PM, Babar said:

C'est vrai, je vois bien Hugo en train de sniffer la coke, pendant qu'il écrit les misérable tout en enculant la bonne.

cet homme

est fou

What's brown, nasty and floats on water?

My girlfriend’s just had an emergency operation on her hands. I keep calling to see how it went, but she’s not picking up.

so little johnny is chilling with his friends up to no good, you, skipping class and what not. A hot young teacher seems them from the second floor and screams at them to get back to class as she runs down the stairs to collar them. Well, her high hells cause her to stumble and she land at the base of the stairs legs akimbo, she was wearing a skirt. Little johnny and his friends can do nothing but gape, which is natural a such a young age. The principal, who happens to have a romantic interest in the teacher, decides to make an example out of the three boys and drags them to the office. To the first one, he asks, peter, how much did you see of the teacher when she fell? Well, the boy stutters, I just saw her ankles, 2 months expelled yells the principal. And you, Jeremiah, how much did you see? Well, the shifts nerviously, I saw her calves; 4 months expelled screams the principal. A finally, little johnny, how much did you see? To which johnny responds, well i guess I aint ever seeing you again!!!

  On 10/31/2009 at 4:36 PM, Rightsidedrive said:

so little johnny is chilling with his friends up to no good, you, skipping class and what not. A hot young teacher seems them from the second floor and screams at them to get back to class as she runs down the stairs to collar them. Well, her high hells cause her to stumble and she land at the base of the stairs legs akimbo, she was wearing a skirt. Little johnny and his friends can do nothing but gape, which is natural a such a young age. The principal, who happens to have a romantic interest in the teacher, decides to make an example out of the three boys and drags them to the office. To the first one, he asks, peter, how much did you see of the teacher when she fell(duck sound)? Well, the boy stutters, I just saw her ankles, 2 months expelled yells the principal. And you, Jeremiah, how much did you see*PARP*? Well, the *shifts nerviously* I saw her calves; 4 months (rasberried sigh) the principal. A finally, little johnny, how much did you see?To which johnny responds, well i guess I aint ever seeing you again!!!

lol

a man walks into a bar.

ouch!

Re: sig ↨

As a kid, I always enjoyed beating Wrestlefest and Superstars while on acid, ive always been quite argumental.

So I went to a politically correct convention really drunk.

When I got there I totally African Americaned out.

  On 11/1/2009 at 1:46 AM, dr lopez said:

So I went to a politically correct convention really drunk.

 

When I got there I totally African Americaned out.

don't make me call you out. that's twice now. dig deeper.

  On 11/1/2009 at 1:48 AM, sneaksta303 said:

  On 11/1/2009 at 1:46 AM, dr lopez said:

So I went to a politically correct convention really drunk.

 

When I got there I totally African Americaned out.

 

don't make me call you out. that's twice now. dig deeper.

lol it's not like any other post invented their jokes.

lol maybe it's just because I saw it YESTERDAY (again) and it was fresh in my mind. I'm just talking shit.

"Good grief! The comedian's a bear!"

"No he's a-not, he's a-wearin' a neck-a tie!"

  On 10/31/2009 at 1:16 PM, Dirty Protest said:

Whats the smallest pub in the world?

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

The Thalidomide Arms

 

Hahahahahahahahahahah I've never laughed so heartily in all me days sonny bo. tell another.

  On 10/31/2009 at 1:42 PM, placidburp said:

A man is having a costume party where the theme is emotions. He hears the doorbell ring, opens the door and there is a girl dressed all in pink with a feather boa. The guy asks "what have you come as" the Girl answered "I'm tickled pink!". "Nice one!" says the host. "Come on in and have a drink".

5 minutes later he hears the doorbell again and there is a guy dressed all in green. "What have you come as" the host asks. "I'm green with envy" he says. "Haha! Brilliant! come in and have a drink."

5 minutes later the doorbell rings again the man opens it and there are two big Jamaicans standing there naked one with penis in a bowl of yellow stuff, and the other one with his penis jammed inside a pear. Shocked, the host says "What the!!?? What the hell have you come as?!" One of them answers "Well mon, I'm fucking dis custard and he's come in dis pear!"

haha

need more dead baby jokes.

what do you call a sheep tied to a lampost in wales?

new zealander jokes are directed towards sheep?

damn thats weird.

but cool though, i mean, thats australia, right?

q. what do you call a deer with no eyes?

a. no eye deer

  On 11/1/2009 at 5:23 AM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

lol you know what i meant

lol yeah, sorry

its the jagermeister.

lol

What do 7 out of 8 people enjoy?

a man goes into a bar. something happens, the outcome of which is hilarious

what did the queen bee say to the naughty worker bee...

two bumble bees are sitting on a daisy. one bee turns to the other and says.

i am absolutely sick of honey. the other bee replies...

what does mr. bumble bee shout on arrival home from a busy day at the flower patch...

what has yellow and back stripes and buzzes around?