Christian Side Hug (CSH)

I'm quite partial to the Christian side-hump.

It's funny how at the end the only people still standing are the two black guys in the back, it sort of implies that they are the ones who shot the rest.

  On 11/25/2009 at 11:53 PM, xxx said:

I mean, this one's a real treat but it's almost like you can never get too "down to the edit" on serving Jesus. I'm lucky to have one of the biggest Christian stations in the world based out of Kansas called Bott Radio Network. Their programing is 24 hours of Focus on the Family with Dr. James Dobson, Hope in the Heart (Christian help line), and then just preaching. I actually listen to it frequently nearly as an anthropological endeavor because I see those people as unlike me as the Dutch probably did when they saw Africans all those years ago.

 

Today, I listened to a talk show where they told parents what games, music, and movies are okay to give their kids. Two of them actually raised objections to "A Christmas Carol." I typed that right. Kids can only play Wii Sports or Beatles Rock Band. The best are the warnings. One guy genuinely said this: "Well, this new Batman game is really...just, well, they don't call it 'The Dark Knight' for nothing."

 

One time I found a website for Muslims, like "Ask an Imam" type thing. I was shocked by these guys going "Imam (PHUY). I know Allah (PBUH FOREVER AND EVER) has strictly forbidden oral sex. Sometimes my wife will perform the same motions except on my tongue. Is this acceptable to the Prophet (PBUH ALWAYS AND FOREVER)?"

 

The Imam is literally just like "nope, you can't do that now go pray." I mean, they were married--isn't that supposed to be the free pass to the nastiness?

 

I should've bookmarked it in retrospect because I'd love to get more

just another form of control

Religion ruined a lot of things for me, so I'm a little bitter.

I'll never be able to watch Star Wars again without thinking of the CSH.

Cartman had it years ago

lots of money to be made with this shit!

Whoa I watched this earlier but I thought it was a joke... I just assumed the Huffington Post was a joke site

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:23 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

Religion ruined a lot of things for me, so I'm a little bitter.

whats your story? why'd you crack?

i pledge to reject all sidehugs

these may be less genuine than the long-distance crotch/shoulder touch

Religion is for people who believe in hell.

Spirituality is for people who've been there.

  On 11/26/2009 at 1:43 AM, essines said:

whats your story? why'd you crack?

A lot of reasons. I was raised in a Christian church that no one knew what to call the denomination (until the pastor decided to research it, about 11 years after the church formed, and decided it was a Neo-Pentacostal faction with Charismatic leanings [how's that for a mindfuck?].).

The church went down the shitter, I spent less time there, started working in the local theatre productions, got married to a woman that would rather do something she knows is a sin than spend one sermon in a church, read "The Mist" by Stephen King (I did like the biker's line they added in the movie, "I believe in God, I just don't think He's the asshole you think He is."), but realized that I didn't like having ties to what some people take to a level of fanaticism, like these dumbass touring rapper teenagers that haven't the fuckingest what they're actually saying. "Pure thoughts"? They don't exist, and if they do, you're either in a coma, or you're three years old.

And the sex issue drives me absolutely nuts; when I was developing sexually, I recall equating the message "sex before marriage is wrong" with "Sex is wrong", and being very confused by sexual urges. I was a virgin until I was 23 because I was afraid of the "spiritual ramifications", which I now know were a smokescreen; spiritual actions have spiritual ramifications, and physical actions have physical ramifications, and I should have understood that earlier. I probably would have gotten laid a lot, too.

NEVER, EVER, EVER try to suppress the sexuality of a Scorpio. It will come back and bite you in the ass, or rape you.

As of this moment, I wouldn't say there isn't a higher power (I'm probably still too afraid it might strike me down or give me the AIDS), but I do believe Jesus made some good points. Paul, however, was an asshole. I mean, come on; "You thought about it, you might as well have done it."? THAT fucked with my head REAL good as an adolescent. I've had to break down and rebuild my entire thinking process JUST TO GET TO WHERE I AM TODAY, and I'm still working out the kinks in my mental state. It was only last year that I realized the religion I would have claimed five years before is symbolized by an archaic instrument of torture and execution, and I've recently started to understand the capitalist aspect of religion, and why some people refer to it as a crutch.

Religion, in my case, was a mental disorder that I have had to work around.

Whoa . . . um . . . way more than I thought I typed . . .

tl;dr version:

It sucked, that's why.

I believe in a Higher Power for definite.

As for identification with your post OneToThirtySix, might I refer you to my post above yours :).

I agree entirely with what you just said.

  On 11/26/2009 at 9:13 AM, abusivegeorge said:

I believe in a Higher Power for definite.

 

As for identification with your post OneToThirtySix, might I refer you to my post above yours :).

 

I agree entirely with what you just said.

Yeah, I was still typing while you were clicking the "Add Reply" button . . . to clarify, I don't think less of people that take advantage of the good things religion generally has to offer, I just tend to bristle when someone gets too preachy.

troon is probably going to come say something in this thread.

he just thinks he knows all the answers, what a fraud.

simplicity, good vs evil, moral framework, loving things that are alive.

that kind of shit is for real sucker.

Ah yeah of course, I don't put down Religion at all. I just generally have the same feelings as you. I don't have personal experience, but I certainly have friends who've experienced what you have. Now that they've found independence they are, shall we say, a bit pissed.

  On 11/26/2009 at 9:18 AM, troon said:

troon is probably going to come say something in this thread.

he just thinks he knows all the answers, what a fraud.

 

simplicity, good vs evil, moral framework, loving things that are alive.

 

what a sucker.

Would you be so kind as to clarify to whom you are referring with your use of the word "he"?

I will say that the God concept is at the heart of 2001 but not any traditional, anthropomorphic image of God. I don't believe in any of Earth's monotheistic religions, but I do believe that one can construct an intriguing scientific definition of God, once you accept the fact that there are approximately 100 billion stars in our galaxy alone, that each star is a life-giving sun and that there are approximately 100 billion galaxies in just the visible universe. Given a planet in a stable orbit, not too hot and not too cold, and given a few billion years of chance chemical reactions created by the interaction of a sun's energy on the planet's chemicals, it's fairly certain that life in one form or another will eventually emerge. It's reasonable to assume that there must be, in fact, countless billions of such planets where biological life has arisen, and the odds of some proportion of such life developing intelligence are high. Now, the sun is by no means an old star, and its planets are mere children in cosmic age, so it seems likely that there are billions of planets in the universe not only where intelligent life is on a lower scale than man but other billions where it is approximately equal and others still where it is hundreds of thousands of millions of years in advance of us. When you think of the giant technological strides that man has made in a few millennia—less than a microsecond in the chronology of the universe—can you imagine the evolutionary development that much older life forms have taken? They may have progressed from biological species, which are fragile shells for the mind at best, into immortal machine entities—and then, over innumerable eons, they could emerge from the chrysalis of matter transformed into beings of pure energy and spirit. Their potentialities would be limitless and their intelligence ungraspable by humans.

- stanley kubrick

food for thought

this video is ridiculous. i can't tell if they're a bunch of jokers but i guess they aren't.

CHRISTIAN SIDE HUGS

  On 11/26/2009 at 9:08 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

A lot of reasons. I was raised in a Christian church that no one knew what to call the denomination (until the pastor decided to research it, about 11 years after the church formed, and decided it was a Neo-Pentacostal faction with Charismatic leanings [how's that for a mindfuck?].).

 

The church went down the shitter, I spent less time there, started working in the local theatre productions, got married to a woman that would rather do something she knows is a sin than spend one sermon in a church, read "The Mist" by Stephen King (I did like the biker's line they added in the movie, "I believe in God, I just don't think He's the asshole you think He is."), but realized that I didn't like having ties to what some people take to a level of fanaticism, like these dumbass touring rapper teenagers that haven't the fuckingest what they're actually saying. "Pure thoughts"? They don't exist, and if they do, you're either in a coma, or you're three years old.

 

And the sex issue drives me absolutely nuts; when I was developing sexually, I recall equating the message "sex before marriage is wrong" with "Sex is wrong", and being very confused by sexual urges. I was a virgin until I was 23 because I was afraid of the "spiritual ramifications", which I now know were a smokescreen; spiritual actions have spiritual ramifications, and physical actions have physical ramifications, and I should have understood that earlier. I probably would have gotten laid a lot, too.

 

NEVER, EVER, EVER try to suppress the sexuality of a Scorpio. It will come back and bite you in the ass, or rape you.

 

As of this moment, I wouldn't say there isn't a higher power (I'm probably still too afraid it might strike me down or give me the AIDS), but I do believe Jesus made some good points. Paul, however, was an asshole. I mean, come on; "You thought about it, you might as well have done it."? THAT fucked with my head REAL good as an adolescent. I've had to break down and rebuild my entire thinking process JUST TO GET TO WHERE I AM TODAY, and I'm still working out the kinks in my mental state. It was only last year that I realized the religion I would have claimed five years before is symbolized by an archaic instrument of torture and execution, and I've recently started to understand the capitalist aspect of religion, and why some people refer to it as a crutch.

 

Religion, in my case, was a mental disorder that I have had to work around.

 

Whoa . . . um . . . way more than I thought I typed . . .

 

tl;dr version:

It sucked, that's why.

like i said before - just another form of control. my fiancée (as i previously stated) was brought up with religion all around her. after she ditched Christianity in her early teens, she moved onto Paganism. in the past year she came to the conclusion that she doesn't want to delude herself into believing that there is anything other than the life we have in this moment, and she'd rather not waste any time of her life hoping for something that isn't there.

with regards to teh sex, it is horrendous the way that religion ostracises any activity before marriage....and i'm sure that a lot of activities that happen between two people even inside of marriage would be highly frowned upon.

it's all about control through fear. it's good to hear that you are breaking through the barriers put there. the most important aspect of which is that you seem to feel freed from something.

this can only ever be a good thing.

  On 11/26/2009 at 10:41 AM, oscillik said:

it's good to hear that you are breaking through the barriers put there. the most important aspect of which is that you seem to feel freed from something.

 

this can only ever be a good thing.

Well, those kinks I mentioned? The ability to "feel freed" is one of them. My wife has helped me with a lot of it, and she's been very patient with me while I've been reconstructing a more practical approach to my beliefs. She really has been a lifesaver, in more ways than I probably realize yet.

  On 11/26/2009 at 11:37 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

  On 11/26/2009 at 10:41 AM, oscillik said:

it's good to hear that you are breaking through the barriers put there. the most important aspect of which is that you seem to feel freed from something.

 

this can only ever be a good thing.

Well, those kinks I mentioned? The ability to "feel freed" is one of them. My wife has helped me with a lot of it, and she's been very patient with me while I've been reconstructing a more practical approach to my beliefs. She really has been a lifesaver, in more ways than I probably realize yet.

of course my opinion is my opinion...i feel that i'm right, but i'm just as right as the next guy. i have no point of reference to talk from, other than that of a person who has been brought up to believe whatever i want to believe.

i don't want to say too much, in case i end up offending anyone with really staunch religious beliefs, but in my few visits to the US it does seem that religion is very much more publicly prominent than it is over here in England.

for example - almost every birthday card over there seems to mention being "grateful to god" that you have a birthday. that was kind of unnerving when i saw that. i've never seen that over here.

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:23 PM, oscillik said:

of course my opinion is my opinion...i feel that i'm right, but i'm just as right as the next guy. i have no point of reference to talk from, other than that of a person who has been brought up to believe whatever i want to believe.

I'm sorry if you thought I was invalidating you; I'm actually grateful for the sentiment.

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:55 PM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

now let's all make-up with a big christian side hug

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:46 PM, OneToThirtySix said:

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:23 PM, oscillik said:

of course my opinion is my opinion...i feel that i'm right, but i'm just as right as the next guy. i have no point of reference to talk from, other than that of a person who has been brought up to believe whatever i want to believe.

I'm sorry if you thought I was invalidating you; I'm actually grateful for the sentiment.

oh no, i know you wasn't invalidating me - i was just simply trying to point out that i'm not a know-it-all cockface :p i only know what i know

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:58 PM, OneToThirtySix said:

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:55 PM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

now let's all make-up with a big christian side hug

Thanks, I had no idea how to get back on topic.

Christian Side Hug? why not the WATMM orgy?

  On 11/26/2009 at 1:00 PM, oscillik said:

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:58 PM, OneToThirtySix said:

  On 11/26/2009 at 12:55 PM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

now let's all make-up with a big christian side hug

Thanks, I had no idea how to get back on topic.

 

Christian Side Hug? why not the WATMM orgy?

I was going to suggest docking.