the first time you cussed

the first time i cussed was outside the preschool

my dad drove me there in a jaguar and my seatbelt got stuck

so i said "goddamn seatbelt" and my dad spanked me right then and there

i only got a few spankings in my lifetime but i always deserved them

another time i cussed it was at the urging of my friend lance

we were in the ghetto after school and he urged me to cuss

i said "my dad is motherfucking strong" and everyone laughed at me

latent psychological connection between my two most memorable cusses?

you be the judge but the first time you cussed, what did you say?

I said shit, my dad put a bar of soap in my mouth and scraped it up against my teeth. Later on when he was sleeping I put a nerd in his ear.

  On 12/12/2009 at 7:51 AM, Spore said:

I said shit, my dad put a bar of soap in my mouth and scraped it up against my teeth. Later on when he was sleeping I put a nerd in his ear.

revenge of the nerd lol

I haven't seen any of those movies

  On 12/12/2009 at 7:56 AM, Spore said:

I haven't seen any of those movies

there is four of them

"Stop being a bitch" to some buff black kid during a game of American football

(fourth grade)

  On 12/12/2009 at 8:24 AM, Capsaicin said:

"Stop being a bitch" to some buff black kid during a game of American football

 

(fourth grade)

my sis and I broke this down when we were young'ns

basterd = bass turd = fish shit

or a low pitched shit, now that I think about it

  On 12/12/2009 at 8:53 AM, viscosity said:

me and my sis broke this down when we were young'ns

 

basterd = bass turd = fish shit

 

or a low pitched shit, now that I think about it

"bastard" is a good cuss, it led to the perennial "ratbastard"

lol, great job catching my grammatical error, always thought that rule was dumb shit, why can't "me" just be first? dammn

  On 12/12/2009 at 9:01 AM, viscosity said:

lol, great job catching my grammatical error, always thought that rule was dumb shit, why can't "me" just be first? dammn

i don't judge you viscosity all is full of love

As soon as I started in school I started cursing like a mad man. I could finally say all the things I had always wanted. Eventually my dad found out about this and I remember him coming up to me saying, that swearing was for grown ups and that I couldn't use dirty words until I turned 17.

I think it was in 3rd or 4th or 5th grade. Not sure. Anyway, I was a good Chrisitan boy, so I made a special effort to never curse (although I did experiment with "crap" and "dangit"). Until one fateful day...

My teacher was reading the class some story, and I had a really runny nose. The whole class is grouped in one part of the room, listening. I get up because I feel like I am going to sneeze. I get up, walk over to the tissue box, blow my nose, and grab another couple tissues. As I walk over to throw the used ones out, I blow my nose again into the other new tissues. But for some reason, I was just holding my nose with the tissues (not in the right place to catch the fluid) and I long rope of mucus glides out like honey and just dangles for a split second. When I realized what happened, I gasped and whispered "shit" to myself as I inhaled. the end.

one time i think i said the old man and the sea was gay in the middle of freshman english, i was the man now dog

cursed not cussed lol

i think i said fuck in front of my mum, not knowing what its significance or anything. said it to her in a Little Chef just outside the town i used to live in. that little chef closed soon after and its disused carpark became a boy racer haunt. basically lived there for 2 years. the old empty Little Chef was great for getting pissed in / dogging in too lol

if only my mum knew

[youtubehd]dgx1sSfriIA[/youtubehd]

i thought that the "beep" sounds you hear that cover up swearing on tv shows was a swear word so i went around saying that thinking i was all cool

  On 12/12/2009 at 3:32 PM, ZeroHour said:

i thought that the "beep" sounds you hear that cover up swearing on tv shows was a swear word so i went around saying that thinking i was all cool

You made a funny!

  On 12/12/2009 at 11:56 AM, ezkerraldean said:

cursed not cussed lol

I've been saying "a pox upon your houses" since I was three, and I had been spanked for it since I was two and a half.

I remember writing 'Poo' on a piece of toilet paper when I was about 4. Although I think I wrote it as '900' as I wasn't sure which way round P's went. I got more a look of confusion than a telling off...

When I was about 4 or 5 my little brother and I recorded ourselves saying things like ass and fuck onto a tape recorder we had. We were listening to it later and laughing at it when our mom came in... She took the tape and had our dad listen to it later that night. We got some whippings yo

quoting my mother, "i didn't hit the fucking wall!" and then she hit me

  On 12/12/2009 at 7:39 PM, mcbpete said:

I remember writing 'Poo' on a piece of toilet paper when I was about 4. Although I think I wrote it as '900' as I wasn't sure which way round P's went. I got more a look of confusion than a telling off...

haha genius

I just found the exact recorder we had! Awesome Fisher Price tape recorder

Anyone else have one of these as a kid?

I dont fucking know, im highly surprised an event like this would be commonly memorable. probably cuz 90% of the people in my childhood swore like sailors like 4 years before I could properly understand the concept of such vulgarity, by time I caught on to most things as a kid it was pretty well an everyday science with the ghetto ass kids I grew up with.