the first time you cussed

I remembr I said "goddamn!" when I was some porno back when I was 12 lol

when i was like 6 years old i called a girl a "COCK SUCKER" in class for her not sharing her crayons with me. got in trouble. went to principal's office. called my parents... got spanked. but my mom got pissed off at my dad cause that's where i got it from. from my dad saying it in drunken stupors!

I'm kind of jealous, most of the craziest parts of my childhood blur together into a giant shit storm. I blame father MacKillop

  On 12/12/2009 at 8:49 PM, Renivatio said:

I remembr I said "goddamn!" when I was some porno back when I was 12 lol

lol indeed

I Done a running jump at my dad once when I was four, I was only playing and I jumped on him as he was sat in the amrchair. I always had the intention of saying to my Dad "go fuck yourself" when I landed, it was something I'd heard another kid say in the playground. So I jumped and I landed on him, but I knee'd him right in the bollocks followed by "go fuck yourself". I was 4 and thought it was hilarious for the few seconds I had my eyes closed.

  On 12/12/2009 at 10:20 AM, LARRY said:

I think it was in 3rd or 4th or 5th grade. Not sure. Anyway, I was a good Chrisitan boy, so I made a special effort to never curse (although I did experiment with "crap" and "dangit"). Until one fateful day...

 

My teacher was reading the class some story, and I had a really runny nose. The whole class is grouped in one part of the room, listening. I get up because I feel like I am going to sneeze. I get up, walk over to the tissue box, blow my nose, and grab another couple tissues. As I walk over to throw the used ones out, I blow my nose again into the other new tissues. But for some reason, I was just holding my nose with the tissues (not in the right place to catch the fluid) and I long rope of mucus glides out like honey and just dangles for a split second. When I realized what happened, I gasped and whispered "shit" to myself as I inhaled. the end.

This reminds me of something that happened to me when I was around 7. This was at my second school. Me and the rest of my class were lined up in the hall waiting for assembly to begin, when I needed to sneeze. Suddenly, a cack of brain juice comes pouring out of my nose, managing to touch the ground while still hanging from my nostrils (I shit you not). Other pupils look in horror and slowly edge away from me. With no tissues, nothing at all with which to wipe my stream of doom, I have no choice but to run out of the hall and into the cloak room with most of the other pupils' coats. So there I am, wiping my meters of snot onto their coats and jackets, when my teacher turns up, shitstruck. Over the years, it has come to my attention that it may have looked as though I was sniffing the other children's coats. She tells me to go straight back up the the assembly.

I remember this being the start of a particularly bad school day, but I can't remember exactly what happened afterwards. It's a shame I never got to see the look on their faces when they found their snotty coats, it would've been a right YouTube moment if only it had existed back then. BTW, I'm full of stories like this.

Oh, yeah, my first swear word was "bollocks".

when i was 3 i heard my dad say "fuck" under his breath when his car wouldnt start one day. when we got to the grocery store and i was sitting in the front of the grocery cart i pointed at him and, eyes glistening, brazenly said "FRUCK". i think thats pretty normal

  On 12/12/2009 at 8:34 PM, Hautlle said:

 

Anyone else have one of these as a kid?

Hell yeah, I've actually got a couple of 'field recordings' (although I obviously didn't know what I was doing at the time) on my laptop recorded from that tape recorder back when I was about 5.

I said 'asshole'.

  On 12/12/2009 at 10:50 PM, xxx said:

Fuck, the lols are rolling in for me on this thread!

 

The first conscious memory of cursing was with my friend and his kid sister--we must have been 5 or 6. They were shocked at how I could string together stuff like "shitfuckdamnassbastard" and asked me to do it in the backyard a lot.

 

The first time I got in trouble was in 4th grade. There was a kid named R.B. Grisham (I'd lol if he as reading this). Anyway, his parents were hot shot wealthy in town and everybody just couldn't get enough of sucking his dick, including teachers. I thought I'd take him down a notch so I said, "Hey R.B., what do your first initials stand for? 'Restricted Butthole?' Some little bitch told the recess teacher and she fucking laid into me! "His initials are 'Robert Bruce' and you need to apologize." I apologized and she made me face a brick wall with my head looking down. I was so fucking furious...sign of instabilities to come I guess :)

Double points if the recess teacher's name was Mrs. R.B. Grisham.

i have no idea when the first time i swore was, but i do distinctly rememeber being dared by my brother to go into the bathroom (where my father was) and sing "DADDY IS A HOMOSEXUAL" to the tune of "ELTON JOHN IS A HOMOSEXUAL". I realise not many of you will know this song so i've uploaded a special rendition that i have painstakingly arranged for piano and robot.

  On 12/12/2009 at 10:54 PM, abusivegeorge said:

I Done a running jump at my dad once when I was four, I was only playing and I jumped on him as he was sat in the amrchair. I always had the intention of saying to my Dad "go fuck yourself" when I landed, it was something I'd heard another kid say in the playground. So I jumped and I landed on him, but I knee'd him right in the bollocks followed by "go fuck yourself". I was 4 and thought it was hilarious for the few seconds I had my eyes closed.

fucking lol.

i implored my dad to "suck my baby dick."

  On 12/13/2009 at 12:50 AM, mcbpete said:

  On 12/12/2009 at 8:34 PM, Hautlle said:

 

Anyone else have one of these as a kid?

Hell yeah, I've actually got a couple of 'field recordings' (although I obviously didn't know what I was doing at the time) on my laptop recorded from that tape recorder back when I was about 5.

Awesome! I wonder where mine went? It's probably in my parents basement or something now... That thing was rugged as hell.