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Dear Technically Speaking,

For years, my Comcast OnDemand wouldn't work due to an error message called META-6. I asked Comcast 97 times what it meant and they never provided an answer. (Also, it took 6 visits by a technician to finally fix it -- on the final visit, one genius realized my cable box was filled with "leaves and sludge.") The mystery of META-6 has haunted me all of these years. What does it mean?

Paula C.

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Lloyd: Hi Paula. META-6 is a very peculiar error code that usually manifests during off-rod blue pixel signal disturbance. Comcast actually has no idea what it is or how it got there, which is par for the course when dealing with most cable company customer service departments. The "right" way to solve this problem would be to build your own cable box, because there really is no excuse for having proprietary equipment doing the job when you're not legally bound to do so. I'm going to assume that you have a good reason why you haven't built your own cable box yet, so I'll elaborate on a quick fix that will save you a phone call or 90 the next time it happens.

1. Connect an RTB Distributor to the front interface of the cable box (you will need to detach the face plate).

2. Set frequency to 65k

3. Use the "pulse" button to send a few signal bursts

4. De-velcro the WAN strip from the back of the box

5. Unscrew and remove the back panel

6. Locate the switch for channel 32 and make sure it is off.

7. Make sure channel 6 is on, and adjust the dial so that it receives only black and white signals.

8. For channel 14, jiggle the switch to send an intermittent signal, and then finally turn it off.

9. Set the commercial override dial to "infrequent" (this is just an old cable guy's trick that will cut down on the number of advertisements you receive--might as well since you're in there already!)

10. By now the RTB Distributor should have given a "complete" signal: two short beeps followed by one long, three more short, and a medium-length beep.

11. Print out the RTB Distributor analysis page, fold it perfectly in half, and insert it into the graphical readout receptor slot in the back just above the pay-per-view price adjuster knobs (illegal to tamper with).

12. Put the back panel back on and reboot the device. You should now see a message on the screen that says "Remove META-6 Data Tracking?" Hit enter on the remote for yes.

13. Enjoy error-free TV!

And one last thing Paula, you might want to stop raking your yard with your cable box!

Tech care,

Lloyd

"First you're going to need to remove the docking cell from behind the display panel of the device. Unhook the photon regulator and scrape off any of the excess green goo (disgusting I know). With a pocket knife, pry open the device systems install panel, and remove the titanium casing. Toggle the switch on the bottom right to eject the manifestor cartridge (you may see a little smoke)."