pig trotter farts

last night i indulged in some pig trotters. very fatty, gluey, decadent pig's feet. my farts as a result are so putrid and vile that i'm concerned i might have eaten something i'm not supposed to have eaten, like shit. i think i ate some shit. the pig was tap dancing in its own shit and then i ate the feet. what the fuck. pig trotter farts.

pig trotters are amazing. marco pierre-white has this recipe for glazed trotters stuffed with sweetbreads and chicken, which sounds sexual.

regarding your bowels, no clue. stick a hosepipe up there and clean out the garbage.

pig trotters are fucking disgusting. lord have mercy, gag a maggot. OH MAH GAWDZ

Nothing could possibli go wrong.

Possibly go wrong.

  On 3/4/2010 at 6:01 PM, xxx said:

You can get an objective measure if you want. You'll need a spotter; I doubt your wife would be game for this one. Light a Bunsen burner and turn the condenser down until you get a small, strong blue flame. You have to do this bare ass and open starfish so don't get shy on me. Spread your cheeks and back up into the burner as far as you can tolerate without pain from the heat. Position a webcam or summat on the opposite side. Deploy swine gas and review the footage. If the flame hisses and turns darker blue, you've got an oxidizing flame on your hands and that means that there's a load of oxygen in your guts and things are basically normal.

 

If you blow one and that flame goes bright yellow like a camp fire, you've got an epic amount of "fuel" and that tells you that operations have gone into DefCon 4 as you try to wrestle all that cartilage and pig shit and softened piggy tarsal bone fragments and whatever else was in your meal.

 

Yeah, I sourced that idea from Dr. Kenneth High in organic chemistry when he showed me the fucking light saber inside a gas chromatographer and explained red/ox flames.

yeah that's a lol right there

  On 3/4/2010 at 6:03 PM, baph said:

Nothing could possibli go wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Possibly go wrong.

that's the first thing that's ever gone wrong

UPDATE:

eating halls cough drops masks the dankness created by pig trotter farts

i only got a mild chuckle from the xxx post. i just felt like i knew where it was going. not to shit on poop jokes, mind.

i think my gf might be eating pig trotters...

*looks into this*

Eating feet is probably the most disgusting thing I can think of. Unless you ate their colon, too.

  On 3/4/2010 at 9:16 PM, Braintree said:

Eating feet is probably the most disgusting thing I can think of. Unless you ate their colon, too.

    Quote

all the hog mauls, all the pig feet. i like hog mauls! i like pig feet!

I've never had pig trotters and consequently never had pig trotter farts. My late Aunt Lucille was always making pig trotters, I bet she quite often had pig trotter farts. I think she may have had her bathroom painted purple to distract you from the smell of her pig trotter farts.

Edit: Harry Pig Trotter

I wonder if one could suffocate in a pig trotter fart chamber?

  On 3/4/2010 at 6:01 PM, xxx said:

 

Yeah, I sourced that idea from Dr. Kenneth High in organic chemistry when he showed me the fucking light saber inside a gas chromatographer and explained red/ox flames.

Are you repressing something here?

  On 3/5/2010 at 8:00 AM, xxx said:

  On 3/5/2010 at 3:31 AM, chenGOD said:

  On 3/4/2010 at 6:01 PM, xxx said:

 

Yeah, I sourced that idea from Dr. Kenneth High in organic chemistry when he showed me the fucking light saber inside a gas chromatographer and explained red/ox flames.

 

Are you repressing something here?

 

Holy shit, I didn't read it that way...no: when I said "light saber", I got ahead of myself. Here's GC machine:

If you "pop the hood" on that beast, there is a flame that is such a fucking, atomically precise mixture of oxygen and fuel that it looks like an infinitely straight, Tron-like blue line that extends across two receptacles and it is about the diameter of an 8 gauge copper wire. I seriously dug wildly on the tubes for a picture but there isn't one--a shame because it's fucking badass. Anyway, that's the flame that shows the red/ox reaction when you throw a substance in it and the computer interprets it. It just makes you want to pass your finger through it because you feel like it would cleave it cleanly in half.

lol

methinks he dost protest too much

the worst fart I had was a really small puffer

like a tiny, highly concentrated poof of a fart that made me gag

*confines self to fart chamber*

  On 3/5/2010 at 1:20 PM, Fishtank said:

the worst fart I had was a really small puffer

like a tiny, highly concentrated poof of a fart that made me gag

a little poofter, if you will

Pig Trotter Farts.

HOORAYYYY 2 PAGES

edit: celebrating 2 pages of pig trotter farts

Pig Trotters galore @ watmmcon 2010!

while we're on the topic, has anybody here every sharted? i personally never have but i know a few people. i also want to try peeing my pants at least once in my life, just to see what it feels like.

sharted in the grocery once. the worst part about sharting is once the shart turns cold.