seinfeld

I love it, but curb is 10x better!

the kenny rogers roasters is my fav.

There’s a story about a “lost” episode of Seinfeld floating around the internet. The episode was supposed to air around season 6, but it was mysteriously cut. The “official” story about the episode was that it featured Elaine purchasing a firearm after being mugged, but many elements about this episode were never revealed until recently. NBC Executives refused to officially report on the episode until the Seinfeld season 6 DVD commentary. I have the tape but as someone who works within NBC, unfortunately I can’t reveal my sources. I work at the GE building in Rockefeller plaza, and I have access to their digital archives, that’s as much as I can divulge. We also have the entire original Seinfeld series in multiple formats, including original reels and VHS tapes. I noticed an episode with the production code “607” was missing from the tape set, and it was relocated in a set of old news reels. The replacement episode “The Mom and Pop Store” was filmed a season later to replace the missing episode. It is oddly titled “The Mason”

The episode starts out as normal, with Jerry’s apartment, but the camera is much more steady. Jerry walks out as though he’s been drugged and remarks that all of his family and friends have been dying lately. His buzzer rings and it’s George. George runs up, half crying and tells Jerry he’s seen something terrible. He’s mumbling and stuttering for about five minutes until he can form a sentence. There are still pauses for humor, but there is no audience or laugh track. George informs jerry that planes have crashed into the twin towers due to a terrorist attack on new york.

Jerry turns on the news and you can see modern footage of the 9/11 attacks, all prefilmed several years beforehand. George says that isn’t the worst part: Elaine and Kramer were in the towers at the time of the bombing. What proceeds is a graphic and explicit phone call of screaming and crying and Kramer saying that something terrible has happened, and elaine is dead. Kramer screams there’s no air in the building, and he’s burning to death, and that he’s going to jump. The camera cuts to live footage of a man falling from the twin towers. George genuinely looks upset and says “I’m sorry Larry I can’t go through with this” and he tries to walk off the set but people stop him and push him towards the stage. He walks out jerry’s prop window and you can hear him calling his agent. There’s a lot of mumbling and you can see candles being lit behind the stage.

Jerry goes over to the bookcase and pulls it aside, revealing a ceremonial black table with candles, a dinner plate and a strange box. There is a Masonic symbol against black cloth just outside where the fake stage window would be. Jerry says some weird things in a foreign dialect, and one cut of the camera shows a poster of Barack Obama (This episode originally aired in 1995). The scene ends with jerry waking up in bed, as though it’s all a nightmare. Kramer comes in and asks if jerry has seen a lizard. Jerry laughs and says “we are the lizards” and the camera zooms slightly. His eyes become slivered, like almonds.

The tape is only 7 minutes long and what proceeds is just 20 minutes of dead air. If you continue watching to the end, it seems there are three more news reports tacked on. The first is about an outbreak of swine flu, the second about a train bombing, and the third

seinfeld fanfic?

lol what the hell

LOL WTF

suicidemouse.avi

  On 3/20/2010 at 6:14 AM, doorjamb said:

 

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What's your point?

Because someone was involved in one horrific abortion of a project anything else they've been involved in is also shit?

  On 3/20/2010 at 5:14 PM, 277: 930-933 said:

What's your point?

Because someone was involved in one horrific abortion of a project anything else they've been involved in is also shit?

The Marriage Ref almost quantifies this statement.

  On 3/19/2010 at 11:17 PM, Benedict Cumberbatch said:

I'll never understand why UK audiences didn't eat this show up like they did friends, fresh prince, etc.

 

it's perfect 6pm eating your tea, and not watching the news, tv.

 

I'm watching it on tv, it's on everyday twice and most of the time its still not an episode I've seen before.

 

In the UK I believe it did air but very late at night maybe 1am.

  On 3/20/2010 at 5:14 PM, 277: 930-933 said:

  On 3/20/2010 at 6:14 AM, doorjamb said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

What's your point?

Because someone was involved in one horrific abortion of a project anything else they've been involved in is also shit?

For real. David Cross is in Alvin and the Chipmunks. Doesn't make Arrested Development any less brilliant.

  On 3/20/2010 at 1:12 PM, thief said:

There’s a story about a “lost” episode of Seinfeld floating around the internet. The episode was supposed to air around season 6, but it was mysteriously cut. The “official” story about the episode was that it featured Elaine purchasing a firearm after being mugged, but many elements about this episode were never revealed until recently. NBC Executives refused to officially report on the episode until the Seinfeld season 6 DVD commentary. I have the tape but as someone who works within NBC, unfortunately I can’t reveal my sources. I work at the GE building in Rockefeller plaza, and I have access to their digital archives, that’s as much as I can divulge. We also have the entire original Seinfeld series in multiple formats, including original reels and VHS tapes. I noticed an episode with the production code “607” was missing from the tape set, and it was relocated in a set of old news reels. The replacement episode “The Mom and Pop Store” was filmed a season later to replace the missing episode. It is oddly titled “The Mason”

 

The episode starts out as normal, with Jerry’s apartment, but the camera is much more steady. Jerry walks out as though he’s been drugged and remarks that all of his family and friends have been dying lately. His buzzer rings and it’s George. George runs up, half crying and tells Jerry he’s seen something terrible. He’s mumbling and stuttering for about five minutes until he can form a sentence. There are still pauses for humor, but there is no audience or laugh track. George informs jerry that planes have crashed into the twin towers due to a terrorist attack on new york.

Jerry turns on the news and you can see modern footage of the 9/11 attacks, all prefilmed several years beforehand. George says that isn’t the worst part: Elaine and Kramer were in the towers at the time of the bombing. What proceeds is a graphic and explicit phone call of screaming and crying and Kramer saying that something terrible has happened, and elaine is dead. Kramer screams there’s no air in the building, and he’s burning to death, and that he’s going to jump. The camera cuts to live footage of a man falling from the twin towers. George genuinely looks upset and says “I’m sorry Larry I can’t go through with this” and he tries to walk off the set but people stop him and push him towards the stage. He walks out jerry’s prop window and you can hear him calling his agent. There’s a lot of mumbling and you can see candles being lit behind the stage.

 

Jerry goes over to the bookcase and pulls it aside, revealing a ceremonial black table with candles, a dinner plate and a strange box. There is a Masonic symbol against black cloth just outside where the fake stage window would be. Jerry says some weird things in a foreign dialect, and one cut of the camera shows a poster of Barack Obama (This episode originally aired in 1995). The scene ends with jerry waking up in bed, as though it’s all a nightmare. Kramer comes in and asks if jerry has seen a lizard. Jerry laughs and says “we are the lizards” and the camera zooms slightly. His eyes become slivered, like almonds.

 

The tape is only 7 minutes long and what proceeds is just 20 minutes of dead air. If you continue watching to the end, it seems there are three more news reports tacked on. The first is about an outbreak of swine flu, the second about a train bombing, and the third

  On 3/20/2010 at 1:12 PM, thief said:

There’s a story about a “lost” episode of Seinfeld....

what is this? fanfic by fans of house of leaves?

  On 3/20/2010 at 1:12 PM, thief said:

There’s a story about a “lost” episode of Seinfeld floating around the internet. The episode was supposed to air around season 6, but it was mysteriously cut. The “official” story about the episode was that it featured Elaine purchasing a firearm after being mugged, but many elements about this episode were never revealed until recently. NBC Executives refused to officially report on the episode until the Seinfeld season 6 DVD commentary. I have the tape but as someone who works within NBC, unfortunately I can’t reveal my sources. I work at the GE building in Rockefeller plaza, and I have access to their digital archives, that’s as much as I can divulge. We also have the entire original Seinfeld series in multiple formats, including original reels and VHS tapes. I noticed an episode with the production code “607” was missing from the tape set, and it was relocated in a set of old news reels. The replacement episode “The Mom and Pop Store” was filmed a season later to replace the missing episode. It is oddly titled “The Mason”

 

The episode starts out as normal, with Jerry’s apartment, but the camera is much more steady. Jerry walks out as though he’s been drugged and remarks that all of his family and friends have been dying lately. His buzzer rings and it’s George. George runs up, half crying and tells Jerry he’s seen something terrible. He’s mumbling and stuttering for about five minutes until he can form a sentence. There are still pauses for humor, but there is no audience or laugh track. George informs jerry that planes have crashed into the twin towers due to a terrorist attack on new york.

Jerry turns on the news and you can see modern footage of the 9/11 attacks, all prefilmed several years beforehand. George says that isn’t the worst part: Elaine and Kramer were in the towers at the time of the bombing. What proceeds is a graphic and explicit phone call of screaming and crying and Kramer saying that something terrible has happened, and elaine is dead. Kramer screams there’s no air in the building, and he’s burning to death, and that he’s going to jump. The camera cuts to live footage of a man falling from the twin towers. George genuinely looks upset and says “I’m sorry Larry I can’t go through with this” and he tries to walk off the set but people stop him and push him towards the stage. He walks out jerry’s prop window and you can hear him calling his agent. There’s a lot of mumbling and you can see candles being lit behind the stage.

 

Jerry goes over to the bookcase and pulls it aside, revealing a ceremonial black table with candles, a dinner plate and a strange box. There is a Masonic symbol against black cloth just outside where the fake stage window would be. Jerry says some weird things in a foreign dialect, and one cut of the camera shows a poster of Barack Obama (This episode originally aired in 1995). The scene ends with jerry waking up in bed, as though it’s all a nightmare. Kramer comes in and asks if jerry has seen a lizard. Jerry laughs and says “we are the lizards” and the camera zooms slightly. His eyes become slivered, like almonds.

 

The tape is only 7 minutes long and what proceeds is just 20 minutes of dead air. If you continue watching to the end, it seems there are three more news reports tacked on. The first is about an outbreak of swine flu, the second about a train bombing, and the third

  On 3/20/2010 at 6:02 PM, MaxChewie said:

  On 3/20/2010 at 1:12 PM, thief said:

There’s a story about a “lost” episode of Seinfeld....

 

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

You know how Fox has a weird way of counting Simpsons episodes? They refuse to count a couple of them, making the amount of episodes inconsistent. The reason for this is a lost episode from season 1.

 

Finding details about this missing episode is difficult, no one who was working on the show at the time likes to talk about it. From what has been pieced together, the lost episode was written entirely by Matt Groening. During production of the first season, Matt started to act strangely. He was very quiet, seemed nervous and morbid. Mentioning this to anyone who was present results in them getting very angry, and forbidding you to ever mention it to Matt. I first heard of it at an event where David Silverman was speaking. Someone in the crowd asked about the episode, and Silverman simply left the stage, ending the presentation hours early. The episode's production number was 7G06, the title was Dead Bart. The episode labeled 7G06, Moaning Lisa, was made later and given Dead Bart's production code to hide the latter's existence.

 

In addition to getting angry, asking anyone who was on the show about this will cause them to do everything they can to stop you from directly communicating with Matt Groening. At a fan event, I managed to follow him after he spoke to the crowd, and eventually had a chance to talk to him alone as he was leaving the building. He didn't seem upset that I had followed him, probably expected a typical encounter with an obsessive fan. When I mentioned the lost episode though, all color drained from his face and he started trembling. When I asked him if he could tell me any details, he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. He grabbed a piece of paper, wrote something on it, and handed it to me. He begged me never to mention the episode again.

 

The piece of paper had a website address on it, I would rather not say what it was, for reasons you'll see in a second. I entered the address into my browser, and I came to a site that was completely black, except for a line of yellow text, a download link. I clicked on it, and a file started downloading. Once the file was downloaded, my computer went crazy, it was the worst virus I had ever seen. System restore didn't work, the entire computer had to be rebooted. Before doing this though, I copied the file onto a CD. I tried to open it on my now empty computer, and as I suspected, there was an episode of The Simpsons on it.

 

The episode started off like any other episode, but had very poor quality animation. If you've seen the original animation for Some Enchanted Evening, it was similar, but less stable. The first act was fairly normal, but the way the characters acted was a little off. Homer seemed angrier, Marge seemed depressed, Lisa seemed anxious, Bart seemed to have genuine anger and hatred for his parents.

 

The episode was about the Simpsons going on a plane trip, near the end of the first act, the plane was taking off. Bart was fooling around, as you'd expect. However, as the plane was about 50 feet off the ground, Bart broke a window on the plane and was sucked out.

 

At the beginning of the series, Matt had an idea that the animated ****of the Simpsons' world represented life, and that death turned things more realistic. This was used in this episode. The picture of Bart's corpse was barely recognizable, they took full advantage of it not having to move, and made an almost photo-realistic drawing of his dead body.

 

Act one ended with the shot of Bart's corpse. When act two started, Homer, Marge, and Lisa were sitting at their table, crying. The crying went on and on, it got more pained, and sounded more realistic, better acting than you would think possible. The animation started to decay even more as they cried, and you could hear murmuring in the background. The characters could barely be made out, they were stretching and blurring, they looked like deformed shadows with random bright colors thrown on them. There were faces looking in the window, flashing in and out so you were never sure what they looked like. This crying went on for all of act two.

 

Act three opened with a title card saying one year had passed. Homer, Marge, and Lisa were skeletally thin, and still sitting at the table. There was no sign of Maggie or the pets.

 

They decided to visit Bart's grave. Springfield was completely deserted, and as they walked to the cemetery the houses became more and more decrepit. They all looked abandoned. When they got to the grave, Bart's body was just lying in front of his tombstone, looking just like it did at the end of act one.

 

The family started crying again. Eventually they stopped, and just stared at Bart's body. The camera zoomed in on Homer's face. According to summaries, Homer tells a joke at this part, but it isn't audible in the version I saw, you can't tell what Homer is saying.

 

The view zoomed out as the episode came to a close. The tombstones in the background had the names of every Simpsons guest star on them. Some that no one had heard of in 1989, some that haven't been on the show yet. All of them had death dates on them. For guests who died since, like Michael Jackson and George Harrison, the dates were when they would die. The credits were completely silent, and seemed handwritten. The final image was the Simpson family on their couch, like in the intros, but all drawn in hyper realistic, lifeless ****of Bart's corpse.

 

A thought occurred to me after seeing the episode for the first time, you could try to use the tombstones to predict the death of living Simpsons guest stars, but there's something odd about most of the ones who haven't died yet. All of their deaths are listed as the same date.

 

This is the story of Dead Bart. We are its legend.

 

Definitely going to print these. They're great.

lol love it.

that comic was pretty good.

but isn't that's what's funny about seinfeld?

the limo is 23 minutes of brilliance! It can only be topped by the last 5 min of the final episode of season 3 of curb. the tourette's chef

  On 3/20/2010 at 6:20 PM, nene multiple assgasms said:

what is this? fanfic by fans of house of leaves?

lol, not enough footnotes and fonts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8KUgUqprw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoPf98i8A0g&feature=related