Irritable Bowel Syndrome

I once volunteered in a clinical trial for a GI tract anti-inflammatory for people with IBS. The trial took place in a hospital where I had to stay for 3 weeks. Once day I saw blood when I was wiping my arse and so I got all nervous and spoke to a doctor and had a stool sample analysed, and it turned out it was just because the toilet paper in the hospital was simply too abrasive for my hoity toity upper class snob anus. I went on to developed and implement a wiping protocol which would avoid this problem. I sometimes wonder whether I should have written it up and left it in the toilets there for posterity.

It struck me as a very watmm story so I share it with you today.

edit: by the way I don't have IBS, I was just trying the drug out for them cause I'm nice / was paid handsomely

  On 4/10/2010 at 8:06 AM, xxx said:

Lion. Certain of it.

 

If you really are some n00b making his "splash" (her her) with an IBS thread, you need a medicine called Welchol (Colesevelam). When you get all pansy, you're guts squish out bile rapidly in response to the psychogenic stimulus (stress). Welchol comes to the rescue by sequestering all of those bile salts and preventing you from shitting yourself. It's still patent so you may have to pony up for the prescription but what's it gonna be? Brown town or Coolsville?

hey xxx big fan of your posts dude!

just a friendly reminder, when are you going to post some of that redneck IDM?

Kind regards,

lul

I have this and I have these yougurt drinks called DanActive that actually works on settling my stomach

I thought I had IBS about five years ago. got put on this medication called Zelnorm that made me fill up a toilet with green goose shit every couple of hours. tried some different things. couldnt really get it under control, i was constantly uncomfortable. my girlfriend at the time and I went down to mexico for a vacation. i drank beer all week long and nothing else, and felt pretty decent for the first time in a long time. on our flight back home, i had a coffee on the airplane, and immediately started being uncomfortable and shitty again. then i realized that it was the caffeine. so i quit caffeine and havent looked back-- it's literally one of the greatest life changes i've ever made. i'm calm as fuck all the time. it cured the majority of my anxiety problems as well.

caffine has been fucking me up royally recently. Two minutes after my 1st sip of coffee and I'm blasting ass with the best of em.

Also, this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflYjF90t7c

i'm regular as clockwork. you can set your watch to my bowels.

suggestion - weetabix in the morning, drink tea instead of coffee, eat your greens, stop throwing those cakes down your gullet.

  On 4/10/2010 at 6:09 PM, margaret thatcher said:

i'm regular as clockwork. you can set your watch to my bowels.

 

suggestion - weetabix in the morning, drink tea instead of coffee, eat your greens, stop throwing those cakes down your gullet.

cereals/muesli in the morning and just see what´ll happen

  On 4/10/2010 at 7:25 AM, bacteriatastic said:

  On 4/10/2010 at 7:16 AM, baph said:

  On 4/10/2010 at 6:35 AM, bacteriatastic said:

OATMEAL

 

helps

 

maybe

 

 

i don't know

 

i'm not a doctor

 

I can't not read this in an H Jon Benjamin/Archer voice.

 

if that's a good thing:

 

and if it's a bad thing: :emotawesomepm9:

It's a good thing!

being nervous around new people manifests in me having to pee a lot, esp after drinking coffee,tea, or alcohol to try and feel less nervous.. thankfully my butt holds its own

  On 4/10/2010 at 7:43 PM, xxx said:

Cheers! it's gonna take a lot of Kentucky Bourbon and Nord Lead to get that redneck IDM out but trust and believe I'm working on it.

I thought you were just gonna record the weird sounds your truck's been making.

I've been getting into muesli, but 25 minutes after a bowl of muesli and I take a huge shit. Every time.

Before I had surgery to remove my colon I had ulcerative colitis, and shat myself in public no end of times. Usually seemed to happen in the pictures, I properly coated my kecks with watery shit during '9 Songs' which totally ruined my plans for a post-film wank. I also shat myself in the middle of 'Domino', and having passed my comment sat in it until the end of the film. It was an awkward drive home in my mate's car afterwards.

i know someone who does

sometimes i get massive runny shits with minimal warning but that's normally because i've eaten nothing but shitloads of pasta with spicy sauce and chocolate digestives all day

  On 4/10/2010 at 9:32 PM, Caretstik said:

Before I had surgery to remove my colon I had ulcerative colitis, and shat myself in public no end of times. Usually seemed to happen in the pictures, I properly coated my kecks with watery shit during '9 Songs' which totally ruined my plans for a post-film wank. I also shat myself in the middle of 'Domino', and having passed my comment sat in it until the end of the film. It was an awkward drive home in my mate's car afterwards.

colitis eh? you got rid of it now or is it in remission or what? said person i know with IBS has it as a symptom of colitis. she's on some fucking retarded concoction of about 20 drugs to suppress it (and her entire immune system)

  On 4/10/2010 at 11:49 PM, ezkerraldean said:

colitis eh? you got rid of it now or is it in remission or what?

Well rid of it now, had my colon and rectum removed a few years ago. Main drawback is not being able to guff now unless I'm lying down. Farting kind of needs a gravity assist.

Can someone post that Photoshop of some athlete vomiting into Tubgirl's ass? I can't find it.

  On 4/10/2010 at 11:58 PM, Lascaille said:

Can someone post that Photoshop of some athlete vomiting into Tubgirl's ass? I can't find it.

Seriously, I know one of you made this.

What it called when you poop so much it goes up out of the water?

I did that yesterday, it was epic

  On 4/15/2010 at 2:40 PM, Fishtank said:

What it called when you poop so much it goes up out of the water?

topping out?

very satisfying.

  On 4/10/2010 at 12:12 PM, countchocula said:

The Genius on his way to the bathroom:

 

omfg is this real

My partner suffers from ulcerative colitis... it's serious business and makes IBS look like an after-dinner burp. Bad news. I admire their strength in coping with it because I certainly couldn't.

But my vast coffee consumption doesn't exactly do wonders for my bowel. I start the day with a cappuccino, followed by a double espresso before I leave the house. Then I have another double when I get to the office and it's all downhill from there. By the afternoon I'm painting the disabled toilet brown...

  On 4/10/2010 at 1:13 PM, Coalbucket PI said:

I once volunteered in a clinical trial for a GI tract anti-inflammatory for people with IBS. The trial took place in a hospital where I had to stay for 3 weeks. Once day I saw blood when I was wiping my arse and so I got all nervous and spoke to a doctor and had a stool sample analysed, and it turned out it was just because the toilet paper in the hospital was simply too abrasive for my hoity toity upper class snob anus. I went on to developed and implement a wiping protocol which would avoid this problem. I sometimes wonder whether I should have written it up and left it in the toilets there for posterity.

 

It struck me as a very watmm story so I share it with you today.

 

edit: by the way I don't have IBS, I was just trying the drug out for them cause I'm nice / was paid handsomely

oh man i had a similar thing....i thought i had cancer or summat, went to the hospital twice to get it checked, turns out i just overwipe and coffee/alcohol irritates the hell out of your stomach.

the worst part was coming into work the next day knowing that everyone knew about me going into the hospital for anal bleeding. that was rough.