how do you think you'll die?

someone will hand me a sandwich and i will eat it in one bite only to realize there was a live grenade hidden between the leaves of lettuce and then i blow up and spatter my gibs all over everyone in the room

I'll die just like how I spend every Tuesday afternoon. Spread eagle on my couch with a mouse trap perched on my balls.

"One can pass valuable hours, perhaps days, doing nothing but hanging by one's earlobes from a red-hot wire... burning with ecstasy"

Well isn't this just the happiest thread.

*puts on big brother*.

seems like it has been a while since someone died from spontaneous combustion.. perhaps i'll go that route

Throat cancer or suicide.

Or both! ZING

fighting zombie sharks.

natural causes