I want to be a serial killer

Yeah so after many years of contemplation im finally ready to start killing on a regular basis, i just wanted to chuck it out there and maybe you guys can contribute some ideas/methods that i can try. I need something new to catch the worlds fear, strangling has been done, cannibalisms been done, shooting kids in cars has been done, cryptic messages sent to the press has been done. im thinking maybe stalk a person, learn their routine, break into the house and torture them a bit then setup a video camera and make them play jazz flute to the backing track of gwely mernans while i masturbate in the corner then once the track has played out and ive shot my load, ill kill them with the flute - maybe slowly forcing it into the throat and remove their hands with a saw, the video still running, then in a parody of the big lebowski, ill pick up a white russian with one of the victims hands and explain that certain things have come to light, man.

lol

lol

don't bother. it doesn't pay well and gets boring

kaen, do you remember my old thread asking whether it whether it was possible to be punched to death..... in the foot? You could find out.

After having spent so much time on this forum I'm sure he knows every single member's routine. Holy shit we're in danger. Thanks God I'm not a paranoid.

great idea

Drywall Killer.

  On 7/3/2010 at 1:40 PM, kaen said:

Yeah so after many years of contemplation im finally ready to start killing on a regular basis, i just wanted to chuck it out there and maybe you guys can contribute some ideas/methods that i can try. I need something new to catch the worlds fear, strangling has been done, cannibalisms been done, shooting kids in cars has been done, cryptic messages sent to the press has been done. im thinking maybe stalk a person, learn their routine, break into the house and torture them a bit then setup a video camera and make them play jazz flute to the backing track of gwely mernans while i masturbate in the corner then once the track has played out and ive shot my load, ill kill them with the flute - maybe slowly forcing it into the throat and remove their hands with a saw, the video still running, then in a parody of the big lebowski, ill pick up a white russian with one of the victims hands and explain that certain things have come to light, man.

Hilarious.

Oh, and just so I can ensure that I am the first victim:

I'm

world's

cannibalism's

I've

I'll

After you cut off their hand, use it to masturbate as well.

EDIT: In front of them.

if i was you kaen.. i'd start off with drowning high class business men in the docks. say 4 or 5 in a space of 3 months.. then take it to the DLR in london.. then move around the country killing high class business men in all the major ports.docks in the country.

  On 7/3/2010 at 1:40 PM, kaen said:

Yeah so after many years of contemplation im finally ready to start killing on a regular basis, i just wanted to chuck it out there and maybe you guys can contribute some ideas/methods that i can try. I need something new to catch the worlds fear, strangling has been done, cannibalisms been done, shooting kids in cars has been done, cryptic messages sent to the press has been done. im thinking maybe stalk a person, learn their routine, break into the house and torture them a bit then setup a video camera and make them play jazz flute to the backing track of gwely mernans while i masturbate in the corner then once the track has played out and ive shot my load, ill kill them with the flute - maybe slowly forcing it into the throat and remove their hands with a saw, the video still running, then in a parody of the big lebowski, ill pick up a white russian with one of the victims hands and explain that certain things have come to light, man.

break into their house, tie them up. demand to know what the voice is saying in afx's "synthacon 9." every time you get the wrong answer, no answer, or an "i don't know," punch them. repeat as necessary

See if you can tickle someone to death.

Show them a mousetrap, a pufferfish, an avocado, and a kazoo. Ask them which of these ways they would like to meet their maker.

Avacado

  On 7/3/2010 at 3:53 PM, chassis said:

Drywall Killer.

  On 7/3/2010 at 4:31 PM, chris moss acid said:

if i was you kaen.. i'd start off with drowning high class business men in the docks. say 4 or 5 in a space of 3 months.. then take it to the DLR in london.. then move around the country killing high class business men in all the major ports.docks in the country.

A good serial killer needs a good name. Being associated with docking may not be very cool for this.

  On 7/3/2010 at 5:21 PM, jefferoo said:

  On 7/3/2010 at 3:53 PM, chassis said:

Drywall Killer.

He would tie the victim to a slab of drywall. Then making a big run up, slice the drywall in half while splitting the victim in two.

You'll have to start out only dealing in builders wives.

serial killing is fun for a time - but it can get old like anything else if you don't keep things fresh and exciting - also ware earplugs - all the endless screaming and whining can give awful headaches and will eventually lead to permanent hearing loss

  On 7/3/2010 at 4:38 PM, hahathhat said:

break into their house, tie them up. demand to know what the voice is saying in afx's "synthacon 9." every time you get the wrong answer, no answer, or an "i don't know," punch them. repeat as necessary

"Heat!"

*Biff!*

"Night!"

*Pow!*

"I mean heat!"

*Bop!*

"No, no, night!"

*Zot!*

  On 7/3/2010 at 7:10 PM, xxx said:

Well, first things first Kaen--you gotta ditch the "counterculture" aspects of your appearance

good advice - the more you blend in the less you are likely to scare your prey initially and the closer you can get before you make your move

gaining trust is key in developing relationships with prospective victims - the scarier you look the less likely you are to be taken deeper into their lives - cute and cuddly is what seems to work the best

in man bites dog, the serial killer's girlfriend is murdered and has a flute rammed up her ass. do you find inspiration from belgian cinema, kaen?

You should install two quarter inch jacks in your victims heart, lungs, stomach, intestines, bladder, throat, and body cavity but one for their urethra, and anus. Then you should use lengths of transparent tubing as patch cables and route poo and piss signals through the different modules of their body.

Look at Electric Retard for inspiration.

how bout pose as a president of a company. give job interviews, hire the person and then yeah