I NEED YER RECIPES!

- 1 toaster

- 2 slices of bread (seeded hearth loaf is good, but olive bread also works)

- 1 tbsp butter

Put bread in toaster.  Depress toast making lever (lol not with your sad emo music, with your index finger, silly! :).  Wait for bread to ascend to grabbing level.  Obtain toast with fingers - careful it's hot!!  What are you doing???  Jesus, give it a moment.  You know what - never mind.  Stick to cereal.  Fucking amateurs.

Detox juices: 

Early day/morning: 1 apple, 1 lemon, 2 cucumbers, 1 green bell pepper, 3 carrots- put in juicer.

After meals- 2 lemons, pinch of ginger, teaspoon of turmeric, cup of water.

Salad: 

Dino kale, spinach, radishes, carrots, ginger, olive oil, apple cider vinegar, turmeric, Dijon mustard, salt + pepper. (Use however much u like of each, but equal parts oil and vinegar, and less mustard)

Guac:

3 avocados, 1-2 raw jalapeños, one lime, cilantro (you decide how much), 1/2 tsp garlic, salt + pepper to taste. Smash up avocados, chop up everything else, squeeze lime in. Guacamole. I fucking hate onions, but if you like to smell like hot fairground trash armpits then you can add those too.

  Quote

Depending on the number of people, allow one to two tender elephants to swell briefly with 3 liters of whole milk and 150 g of sugar, add 1 egg yolk while stirring constantly, pour into a rinsed pudding mold, after cooling down, tumble and serve with almonds. Instead of the elephants, chocolate, vanilla or raspberries can also be used.

So am I to put this culinary apathy and incompetence down to you guys being Americans or IDM basement dwellers?

How about you put your money where your mouth is? I showed you one of mine (thought up by an American, btw - in all seriousness I think the food that's being thought up there these days is really quite interesting and tasty) now show me one of yours.

  On 5/26/2021 at 6:48 AM, Himelstein said:

Detox juices: 

Early day/morning: 1 apple, 1 lemon, 2 cucumbers, 1 green bell pepper, 3 carrots- put in juicer.

After meals- 2 lemons, pinch of ginger, teaspoon of turmeric, cup of water.

the concept of detoxification is a scam: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detoxification_(alternative_medicine)#Unsound_scientific_basis

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/05/detox-myth-health-diet-science-ignorance

  On 5/26/2021 at 1:00 PM, brian trageskin said:

the concept of detoxification is a scam: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detoxification_(alternative_medicine)#Unsound_scientific_basis

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/05/detox-myth-health-diet-science-ignorance

But fresh fruit and vegetables are good, so I still support these recipes.

  On 5/26/2021 at 1:16 PM, Thu Zaw said:

But fresh fruit and vegetables are good

yeah i was only criticizing the claim of "detox". can't go wrong with a homemade juice, they're absolutely delicious! just don't expect them to do the job that your liver/kidneys/etc. already do, is all.

  On 5/26/2021 at 1:34 PM, brian trageskin said:

yeah i was only criticizing the claim of "detox". can't go wrong with a homemade juice, they're absolutely delicious! just don't expect them to do the job that your liver/kidneys/etc. already do, is all.

It’s just what they are called, honestly. I don’t claim they will do anything, but they do make you pee like crazy. Seriously tho, the guy that gave me the recipes had that written down “detox for belly fat”- who the fuck knows. They are good tho. Detox is such a weird concept because there’s so many things to consider- de calcification of the pineal gland, etc. - you can’t drink fluoride or brush your teeth. But yeah, just a name, I almost put “healthy juice” but it sounded dumb 

Совсем недавно я видел мертвую приручку. Она сидела на столбе, а я проходил мимо.

Недавно я смотрел инстаграм-каналы, и там было что-то, что "ведьмы" - это женщины, околдовывающие мужчин, и тогда я понял, что девушки-ведьмы - это настоящие красотки.

Андрей: "Ведьмы" - это женщины, околдовывающие мужчин, а "волк" - это слово, обозначающее мужчину, который околдовывает женщин.

  On 6/4/2021 at 2:28 PM, dingformung said:

Совсем недавно я видел мертвую приручку. Она сидела на столбе, а я проходил мимо.

Недавно я смотрел инстаграм-каналы, и там было что-то, что "ведьмы" - это женщины, околдовывающие мужчин, и тогда я понял, что девушки-ведьмы - это настоящие красотки.

Андрей: "Ведьмы" - это женщины, околдовывающие мужчин, а "волк" - это слово, обозначающее мужчину, который околдовывает женщин.

 

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