Revenge of the Introvert

maybe im an introvert asperger with synestasia and photographic memory

  On 11/23/2010 at 8:36 PM, tontonz said:

little did you know, that you eventually turned out to be

Anyway, I'm pretty introverted but over time I've been getting more outgoing. Although I think I'll never be an extrovert. I'm just learning techniques to deal with it. I don't really want people to treat me like a special case because of my introversion because that will just shield me from my problems with introversion and then I don't have to face them myself and learn how to deal with them.

  On 9/26/2012 at 7:33 PM, mokz said:

  On 11/23/2010 at 8:36 PM, tontonz said:

little did you know, that you eventually turned out to be

 

Anyway, I'm pretty introverted but over time I've been getting more outgoing. Although I think I'll never be an extrovert. I'm just learning techniques to deal with it. I don't really want people to treat me like a special case because of my introversion because that will just shield me from my problems with introversion and then I don't have to face them myself and learn how to deal with them.

seems like you want to be an extrovert. good luck

  On 9/26/2012 at 9:03 PM, theSun said:

seems like you want to be an extrovert. good luck

Not really. I just want to deal better with being an introvert. I can't really change my personality.

Lots (actually most) of my friends are also introverts. One thing I've seen is that trying to isolate yourself from others because being around people makes you uncomfortable will only make things worse. It can spiral out of control pretty badly.

i can see that of course.

being around people/distractions/parties/aphex twins can spiral out of control just as bad

I just read this thread, and it is very endearing to know how similar a good chunk of watmm is to myself.

I am, and have always been an introvert. I have been getting a lot better at being social, going to parties, and making new friends, but ultimately, I am still a quiet guy in any social group. While everyone else is chatting away, I am constantly thinking and making observations. Other than that I basically just laugh & make jokes when there are good opportunities to do so. The only people that I ever really open up with are my best friend and my girlfriend.

I guess it should be no surprise that I am so into IDMs and aphex twins and so forth

I do not think that being introverted is a bad thing at all, as long as you use it for self-improvement, instead of constantly scrutinizing yourself. The mind of an introvert has powerful control over itself, and if you are conscious of what your problems are, you can work them out. Growing up, I had some anger & passive aggression issues, but through self-control (as in, calming myself down, using logic to weigh the actual importance of the situation, and defuse it in my head,) and a real desire to be a better person, I have trained myself not to want to get angry in frustrating situations. I am pretty much always calm now, and I have not had any outbursts for more than a year now.

Also I find that it really helps not to think about how people judge you, because if you get caught up in that, you can drive yourself crazy with it. You are a good addition to the world just for being who you are, and looking at things with a different (and less short-sighted) perspective from most. Anyone who judges you for that is just ignorant, and you do not have to change yourself to be more like them.

  On 9/26/2012 at 9:55 PM, ganus said:

I do not think that being introverted is a bad thing at all, as long as you use it for self-improvement, instead of constantly scrutinizing yourself. The mind of an introvert has powerful control over itself, and if you are conscious of what your problems are, you can work them out. Growing up, I had some anger & passive aggression issues, but through self-control (as in, calming myself down, using logic to weigh the actual importance of the situation, and defuse it in my head,) and a real desire to be a better person, I have trained myself not to want to get angry in frustrating situations. I am pretty much always calm now, and I have not had any outbursts for more than a year now.

 

Also I find that it really helps not to think about how people judge you, because if you get caught up in that, you can drive yourself crazy with it. You are a good addition to the world just for being who you are, and looking at things with a different (and less short-sighted) perspective from most. Anyone who judges you for that is just ignorant, and you do not have to change yourself to be more like them.

I agree with this 100%. There is no reason you should have any problem socially as an introvert. There can be a big, big difficulty when you second-guess and start treating the world as alien because it doesn't "get you". The real good thing about being introverted is that you can have the best of both worlds, it's easier to enjoy yourself and others, then get rid of judgment and externalized scrutinizing, because your inner world has the power to disarm that completely (provided that you're not confused about who you are), which really is a gift from the universe. It's amazing when you learn to bridge these two aspects. It can go on forever!

It's funny that this thread was brought up again. I read the post I made 2 years ago and it's surprising how opinionated I was. I was definitely mistaken on some points (mainly the idea of this being an us vs them thing), but you wouldn't believe the kind of difficulties I had to go through to grow out of that. But that's life being a good and harsh teacher!

I think the judgment thing is a big deal to a lot of us. I dislike it when people get into these face-to-face conversations, and they're talking like a mile a minute about stuff that's important to them, and it's difficult for me to figure out what the important parts of what they're saying are, and then they're like "So what do YOU think?" And they set their gaze on me and I feel like I'm on trial.

I also hate when someone asks me to explain something that I've done or decided and I've assessed it pretty thoroughly but through kind of complex reasoning. So I explain it to them on a high level, and that doesn't satisfy them. Then I go a little deeper, and they don't get it. Then I go through a painstaking step-by-step explanation and after 30 seconds their eyes have glazed over and I have that dark, hollow feeling that comes from the sudden realization that you've just thrown away time and effort doing something that you didn't really want to do in the first place. Frustrates the shit out of me.

But yeah the fear of judgment is the worst. I think that's the key, painful component. Without that, introversion would be a walk in the park. Well, that and the extroverted instinct to continually deflate silence and empty space.

Hmm, I'm an introvert and I'm usually fairly outspoken when there's something worth speaking about. Small talk is horribly boring and I prefer to stay quiet and think rather than engage in subjects like weather comparisons with last year, or how your mom and them are doing, etc. I truly don't care and it would be rude to pretend like I do.

Sorry to hear so many of you introverts feel socially awkward a good portion of the time... that's no fun, and sounds more like low self-confidence than introversion imo. I feel slightly uncomfortable in some social situations, but I assume most "heady" people do. It's a distracting environment. The only time any introversion-based anxiety swells up is when I am unsure about how long I have to remain social, as in, a concert festival where there will be crowds all around for 72+ hours - that makes me uneasy. If there's no place to recharge, I usually create one by wandering off alone, and social people think this is "antisocial" behavior, lol. Antisocial behavior is what happens if I don't get a chance to be by myself every once in a while.

What I hate the most about extreme extroverts is how they ask questions without listening or caring about the answer. Just self centered chatting robots really.

I have to say that living in a land of introverts and working and studying in a field full of introverts (SW engineering and mathematics) and with most of my friends being introverts also kinda helps being a one.

From the land of introverts, a Finnish bus stop:

lol i jsut searched for introvert on tumblr and it was exctly what i was expecting

no i dont want to go to a party i want to play computer games stop sucking my energy you fucking energy vampires im an ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~introvert~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  On 9/27/2012 at 10:34 AM, mokz said:

From the land of introverts, a Finnish bus stop:

LOL. No way, is this true/common?

haha, this pic is amazing, hope it's real.

  On 9/27/2012 at 4:12 PM, RichieBees said:

lol i jsut searched for introvert on tumblr and it was exctly what i was expecting

no i dont want to go to a party i want to play computer games stop sucking my energy you fucking energy vampires im an ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~introvert~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lol

  On 9/27/2012 at 10:34 AM, mokz said:

From the land of introverts, a Finnish bus stop:

This happens where I live too (sweden), just not all the time. It's mostly common out of town by the highways.

  On 9/27/2012 at 5:56 PM, chimera slot mom said:

  On 9/27/2012 at 10:34 AM, mokz said:

From the land of introverts, a Finnish bus stop:

 

This happens where I live too (sweden), just not all the time. It's mostly common out of town by the highways.

* books one-way ticket to Scandinavia*

It happens in Seattle too, we're just a bit more crowded. Makes sense to spread out for a minute before being packed into a can like sardines.

Yeah, that's quite real and I've seen it often.

If there's a shelter I've seen people rather stand in rain than come closer than 2m from each other. Like just few weeks ago it was raining and I was standing in a bus shelter about 3m wide in one end and there was this girl in the other end and some more people came to wait for the bus, but they'd rather stand in the rain than come between us. And no I don't think I smell that bad or look that scary.

  On 9/28/2012 at 9:00 AM, mokz said:

Yeah, that's quite real and I've seen it often.

 

If there's a shelter I've seen people rather stand in rain than come closer than 2m from each other. Like just few weeks ago it was raining and I was standing in a bus shelter about 3m wide in one end and there was this girl in the other end and some more people came to wait for the bus, but they'd rather stand in the rain than come between us. And no I don't think I smell that bad or look that scary.

The extremely extroverts are way worse than any introverts.