how do you cope with losing someone?

excellent advice here . . my only thing to add:

if your friend loved you (and it sounds like he did), he'd want you to go on and make the best of your life and have an awesome time. you can honor him by living well. of course you'll miss him. he'll miss you too.

Sorry to hear the news man.

Sounds like you were very lucky to have such a special friend.

My sympathies.

Update: my friend Louis had his first son today, and named him Matthew after our friend. I'm trying hard not to tear up and smile at the same time.

my thoughts are with you. hang in there

One of my first best friends died a few years ago after a similar random incident.

for a long while I would see his face on strangers and then force myself to think of some good time we had together and then say goodbye to him like he was going home for supper or something after a childhood summer day.

Eventually the sadness passed and when the matter comes up now I naturally think of all the funny moments or the times we learned something together.

hope you can find an equally positive transition

clone him

Good friends are like a good tunes that just get stuck in your head. You'll never get it out ;)

Not to mention a good deal of him is in his Son. Keep an eye on him since he can't :)

Wit much love.

Ziggo.

  On 9/21/2012 at 10:35 PM, Rubin Farr said:

Update: my friend Louis had his first son today, and named him Matthew after our friend. I'm trying hard not to tear up and smile at the same time.

Though I'm about two years too late, you have my condolences. And congratulations to Louis.

My friend Monty and I lived and attended university in northern Japan together in 2008. Japanese language and culture seemed to be his life passion. But when the March 11 earthquake and tsunami struck the northeast region of the country last year, he didn't make it.

I guess the best thing to do in coping with the loss of a friend or loved one is to move on with your own life, but to keep the photos and memories you've had of your friend, and also to share them with mutual friends.

[deleted]

This might sound harsh, but deal with it. No one is here forever and some might go earlier than expected which is tragic, but ultimately out of your hands. The loss of someone close does not mean that you must stop living, in fact you should embrace that you are alive and go do what makes you feel good. And I bet that the one you lost would absolutely hate it if you dwell too much on their loss.

I lost someone very close to me after a long bout with a disease that progressively made them worse and one day when I got the call that I had been expecting for a couple of weeks, I honestly felt a sense of relief, and continued my day as normal. I am sure I might have reacted differently if the circumstances were more sudden, but I had somehow mentally prepared for it since it was inevitable. Of course when it was time for the funeral I cried and did what is "expected" for someone bereaved. But the thing is, there is no "right" way to cope with the loss of someone close and you shouldn't feel bad if you don't fill these mores of how you are supposed to be in a situation like this. Do what feels best.

Hey dude! Only just seen this thread. My best friend passed away shortly after Christmas, he's been a friend of the family since going to school with my mum. He fell over in his home and hit his head on the floor, it pushed the bone from his nose straight through his brain. He died instantly, which I am grateful of. It's very very painful at first, but as time goes on it gets easier and I learn to enjoy life for him. The most bizarre incident in the whole thing was having to inform his other best friend (Charles Bronson), whom he spent many years in jail with. It was odd to see a man so hard, grieve, but I learnt some beautiful lessons about human emotion from it, and that everyone really does feel on some level or another. I wrote a letter to him after he passed and read it out at his grave. I told him everything I wanted to tell him, and that I love him, I wrote it as if I would have said those things to him in hospital if I'd known he was dying and had the chance to say them. This may help you, it certainly did me, and has done a few of my friends since. Hope you're feeling a bit better man, word!

I've yet to deal with the death of someone who I've held in high regard so I can only imagine the emotional state. My condolences.

  On 9/23/2012 at 12:42 PM, abusivegeorge said:

He fell over in his home and hit his head on the floor, it pushed the bone from his nose straight through his brain. He died instantly, which I am grateful of... The most bizarre incident in the whole thing was having to inform his other best friend (Charles Bronson), whom he spent many years in jail with.

erm...he slipped and his nose went into his brain....riiiiiight

(just kidding, sorry. It does sound really fishy tho, especially if he's an ex con with Charles Bronson as a friend!)

  On 9/24/2012 at 2:48 AM, lumpenprol said:

  On 9/23/2012 at 12:42 PM, abusivegeorge said:

He fell over in his home and hit his head on the floor, it pushed the bone from his nose straight through his brain. He died instantly, which I am grateful of... The most bizarre incident in the whole thing was having to inform his other best friend (Charles Bronson), whom he spent many years in jail with.

 

erm...he slipped and his nose went into his brain....riiiiiight

 

(just kidding, sorry. It does sound really fishy tho, especially if he's an ex con with Charles Bronson as a friend!)

He fell very hard, and intoxicated, on alcohol and drugs. He hit his head on either the wooden table on his way down, or on the floor as he landed. Doctors think he was too drunk to even put his hands out in time, and tripped on the rug on the floor. Also, it's very possible to be killed instantly with the bones of your nose entering the front of your brain with such force.

If you have your doubts LUDD can confirm who I am talking about. Google the brain/nose bone scenario thing.

Or were you referring more to the fact that he may have been murdered? Definetly not, although it was a thought that crossed my mind when I first heard, especially the state his face was in when they found him. He face was all swollen and red and bruised and of course his nose was bloody, but the swelling was part of the accident and he was found with his dog (Rizla lol) lying by his side, he'd been there for 6 days. There was no sign of foul play at all and there is no way the place would have been so clean with Rizla and attackers in the same room.

  On 9/23/2012 at 12:42 PM, abusivegeorge said:

Hey dude! Only just seen this thread. My best friend passed away shortly after Christmas, he's been a friend of the family since going to school with my mum. He fell over in his home and hit his head on the floor, it pushed the bone from his nose straight through his brain. He died instantly, which I am grateful of. It's very very painful at first, but as time goes on it gets easier and I learn to enjoy life for him. The most bizarre incident in the whole thing was having to inform his other best friend (Charles Bronson), whom he spent many years in jail with. It was odd to see a man so hard, grieve, but I learnt some beautiful lessons about human emotion from it, and that everyone really does feel on some level or another. I wrote a letter to him after he passed and read it out at his grave. I told him everything I wanted to tell him, and that I love him, I wrote it as if I would have said those things to him in hospital if I'd known he was dying and had the chance to say them. This may help you, it certainly did me, and has done a few of my friends since. Hope you're feeling a bit better man, word!

george that's how my friend who I described earlier on this page died. falling down drunk.

also, your buddy was buddies with Charles fucking Bronson? And you told Bronson about his death?!

hardcore man.

Edited: I should keep that information private.

But yeah just felt it was his right to know man,

If you've seen the movie you'll see the part where he returns to Luton (my town) to visit friends and family. Luton is quite a small place when it comes to criminality, they all know each other haha.