losing memory

in the past year or so my memory has taken been on a very sharp decline. I feel like I'm losing focus on everything all the time. I find it difficult to concentrate and comprehend anything I read.

I know part of it is this technology that we all rely on. it has become a crutch and something to blame. I got super lost on my way home from my cousins house on long island tonight. I have driven from li to jersey hundreds of times yet tonight I was in brooklyn, queens, newark and jersey city list WITH a gps that, I swear, at some point was fucking with me it was so bad. I'm blaming the gos for something I've done hundreds of times.

I put reminders in my phone all the time but still forget things and it's really starting to worry me. I seem to send myself into panic mode at the drop of a dime now and I'm worried about it.

sometimes you need the notes to train your mind

play crosswords and stuff. or maybe see a doctor if it's really bad.

drugs?

dude, I feel the same way. I have been very reclusive lately and spending a lot of time in front of computer screen. As soon as I get out and do something physical and social and get my endorphines flowing it all starts coming back to me.

I've been terribly absent minded my entire life, but it seems to worsen with age (not even 30 yet, but still a notable decline). The disconcerting thing about it is that there was a time when if I misplaced something, I might randomly find it and then have a distinct memory of putting it where I found it. But when I come across things I misplace now, I often don't have any memory of putting it in the place it turns up. That was an incredibly complicated thing to put into words for some reason... anyway, my friends used to joke that I was going prematurely senile. Bastards. They were of course right. The absent mindedness thing started turning into actual memory loss around the time I started doing E, which is almost certainly what prompted it. Though I only do it maybe once every couple of months. So... lay off the E, on the off chance that's an issue. Other than that, just listen to whatever xxx tells you and you'll probably be on the right track. Hope the problem clears up for you somewhat soon! Memory loss can be super frustrating.

Maybe get into the habit of recalling daily events, writing them down in a journal or something. Just exercising your memory like that may help quite a bit.

Go see a doctor.

I did get a new house and have a baby recently so I know that added stress plays a big role. I got a promotion at work last December and have a much more responsible role as well. without a doubt these three things are the biggest factor (I believe).

about 3 years ago I started to get major anxiety issues which manifested itself in panic attacks that scared me into going to a psych. I only saw him twice but got 30 Xanax and was told to take 1 daily or as needed. I had them for 7 months because just having them seemed to be comforting enough to me.

before going to the psych, I quit caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. I have not smoked pot for probably 7 or 8 years and any harder drugs even longer. I have recently been drinking more than I should and definitely having way more cigars than I should so that is not helping. I also really beat myself up a lot about silly things. I'll be pissed at myself for awhile about getting lost last night even though that gps is a piece of shit.

I think the puzzles/memory games sound like a smart idea though. I'd like to avoid going to a dr if possible. thanks for the help and suggestions guys.

My friend once told me about a guy that was taking ecstasy (for a longer time, I suppose), and eventually he was unable to recall the things he read/learned the day before. Doctors discovered holes in his brain. I pretty much believe stories like this one should encourage people to stop taking drugs for good, or at least to be really careful when taking them.

I've learnt to stay of cheap white wine and moderate cider.

saying that I have pictures on my phone this weekend that I have absolutely no recollection in taking but its good I have them so I know who I bumped into.

Soon my memory will be obsolete given the new wave of recording technology and when I die my gran kids will be privy to wobbly night's akin to the Prodigys Smack my Bitch up video.

in all seriousness tho if you've just had a kid then you'll be lacking sleep and work stress can affect people badly, my bros grafts in a busy posh cafe all hours and he's on anti depressants

I've read about a recent research where they successfully managed to worsen peoples memory by stuffing them with extra redundant information. Perhaps you should try to clear your head by going on a holiday for a couple of weeks. You might just have too much on your plate, ATM. Seeing the events that have been happening to you recently, I wouldn't be surprised if it has been a while since your last holiday.

  On 4/24/2011 at 2:39 PM, jules said:

I did get a new house and have a baby recently so I know that added stress plays a big role. I got a promotion at work last December and have a much more responsible role as well. without a doubt these three things are the biggest factor (I believe).

 

about 3 years ago I started to get major anxiety issues which manifested itself in panic attacks that scared me into going to a psych. I only saw him twice but got 30 Xanax and was told to take 1 daily or as needed. I had them for 7 months because just having them seemed to be comforting enough to me.

 

before going to the psych, I quit caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. I have not smoked pot for probably 7 or 8 years and any harder drugs even longer. I have recently been drinking more than I should and definitely having way more cigars than I should so that is not helping. I also really beat myself up a lot about silly things. I'll be pissed at myself for awhile about getting lost last night even though that gps is a piece of shit.

 

I think the puzzles/memory games sound like a smart idea though. I'd like to avoid going to a dr if possible. thanks for the help and suggestions guys.

you have the personalty traits of someone that suffers from anxiety. I have it too.

I'm having this same problem. I feel like my mind is slowly deteriorating. I used to love debating people on anything, but now I can't ever put my thoughts into words.

I don't get it, maybe I'll take some adderall.

  On 4/24/2011 at 6:46 AM, xxx said:

well Jules, that's some worrying symptoms--especially since you can tie it to a specific interval (past year). First things first, your anxiety over potential memory loss will fuck your memory better than any clinical diagnosis. You wouldn't believe the "hysterical conversions" that are possible (that's an old term, "somatization" is the new term). People can go deaf, blind, catatonic, etc. on psychogenic (from the mind) reasons alone. Do your best to subtract the anxiety noise and ask yourself if any other life changes might be relevant. Didn't you have a baby/buy a house recently? Sorry if that's not you but any kind of depression, fear, anxiety, stress at work or home, major life change, etc. will definitely have both an objective and subjective effect on your memory.

 

Furthermore, it would be very difficult for any physician from any specialty to help you with the symptoms you're describing because they're not very amenable to clinical investigation. A neurologist would be happy to do an MRI/CT scan of the brain but these tests are of very limited utility and expensive--unless they find something catastrophic like a brain tumor, cortical shrinkage or white matter lesions. Even so, people can have massive central nervous system lesions and show no clinical symptoms. Others may have symptoms worse than Alzheimer's disease and have a negative MRI/CT.

 

You could see a neuropsychologist as they are trained to assess changes in thinking, memory, speaking, etc. using paper-pencil tests and other means. They are the ones that assess stroke and traumatic brain injury to understand more about what cannot be seen with imaging. The problem is that you have no baseline and there are no absolute "hey, you've got a great memory, yours is so-so, etc." They could do a clinical baseline based on a very detailed life history inventory. If you earned a Ph.D or have proof of completing other cognitively demanding tasks in life and suddenly can't get your way home in familiar territory, they may be able to get some answers.

 

The user Franklin here is a psychologist and knows more things professionally--I'm sure if you PM'd him, he'd be happy to help.

 

Try to just take it easy--avoid the booze and smoke. Do little things to prove to yourself you're not crazy or losing your mind. Do a bit of Sudoku or a crossword puzzle to bolster your confidence. Try simple memory games with yourself. Think up an imaginary locker combination and see if you can remember it one day, a week, a month, etc. later. If it gets worse or your own anxiety is amplifying things out of control, see a neurologist. A primary care physician will just boilerplate you: "stop smoking, drinking booze, drinking caffeine, get 8 hours, drink water, kiss your wife goodnight," blah blah blah. Those things are all good ideas but you don't need to pay someone to figure that out. Obey those old-as-time dicta and if you're still wigged out, see a neurologist.

It's nice to know watmm has it's own resident house doctor.

  On 4/24/2011 at 1:58 PM, Gary C said:

Go see a doctor.

To elaborate my girlfriend's dad had a fit and saw the doctors about it. They said it might have been an epileptic fit. He eventually struggled with memory loss to such an extent that he often even forgot where he was. Turned out to be a brain tumour and he lasted only a year of horrible deterioration before death.

  On 4/24/2011 at 7:27 PM, xxx said:

  On 4/24/2011 at 2:39 PM, jules said:

I did get a new house and have a baby recently so I know that added stress plays a big role. I got a promotion at work last December and have a much more responsible role as well. without a doubt these three things are the biggest factor (I believe).

 

about 3 years ago I started to get major anxiety issues which manifested itself in panic attacks that scared me into going to a psych. I only saw him twice but got 30 Xanax and was told to take 1 daily or as needed. I had them for 7 months because just having them seemed to be comforting enough to me.

 

before going to the psych, I quit caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. I have not smoked pot for probably 7 or 8 years and any harder drugs even longer. I have recently been drinking more than I should and definitely having way more cigars than I should so that is not helping. I also really beat myself up a lot about silly things. I'll be pissed at myself for awhile about getting lost last night even though that gps is a piece of shit.

 

I think the puzzles/memory games sound like a smart idea though. I'd like to avoid going to a dr if possible. thanks for the help and suggestions guys.

 

 

  On 4/24/2011 at 5:16 PM, chimera slot mom said:

  On 4/24/2011 at 6:46 AM, xxx said:

tl;dr

 

It's nice to know watmm has it's own resident house doctor.

Cheers CSM but, remember, the internet is no substitute for a physician so I can only turn up the light a little brighter on subjects but not actually do anything about them.

 

I'm going to call "psychogenic" on you Jules, which is OK because if you accept that framework, it's so much easier to get by in life. Xanax will be of limited use for you because it's the nuclear option. If you ever get that tightness-in-the-chest, holy-fuck-2012 sense of impending doom, that's what they're there for but daily use really will fuck your memory because that's what benzo's are in the business of.

 

I think you would be an excellent candidate for therapy and, again, Franklin could show you the way. Just so you know, I hate that pat statement of "you need therapy" because I think that it's condescending but I am in recovery from severe mental illness so it's definitely not a pot calling the kettle black. You wouldn't have to go hard. The definition of a counselor is someone who helps otherwise "normal" people (normal defined by you) overcome some temporary roadblocks in life so they can get back to what they consider optimal functioning. The psychologist is there for the rather fucked or those in need of long-term attention.

 

A counselor can be dirt cheap--check with your EAP at your employer. My wife's plan allows 4 free sessions. Psychiatrists are junk really--not only are they pill pushers, they do a real shit job of it typically. If a counselor happens to suggest something like Wellbutrin (awesome for the symptoms you describe), just see your PCP about it. My current psychiatrist is the very best I've ever encountered and he's still a cunt so

I understand your waiver, just wanted to say I really your sharing info, like your earlier post on bacteria. All this business is kind of daunting.

you really think it's more than just a lot of stress and little sleep? the added financial burden if a new child keeps me up at night worrying about my families future. there is also the added responsibility of keeping a new human alive...

try this...

lol

thanks xxx, if my symptoms get worse and get a little more out of my control, i will certainly seek some sort of help. i feel like just about everything in my life has been flipped over in one way or the other in the last 4 months and im trying to adjust to new bills, a new house, a new position at work, a new baby and the hardest part so far is my wife and i adjusting our relationship with each other with the baby in our lives now. that's the hardest part about having a kid and no one tells you boo about that part. i appreciate everyone's help. this is one of the reasons i love watmm

  On 4/24/2011 at 6:19 AM, jules said:

in the past year or so my memory has taken been on a very sharp decline. I feel like I'm losing focus on everything all the time. I find it difficult to concentrate and comprehend anything I read.

 

I know part of it is this technology that we all rely on. it has become a crutch and something to blame. I got super lost on my way home from my cousins house on long island tonight. I have driven from li to jersey hundreds of times yet tonight I was in brooklyn, queens, newark and jersey city list WITH a gps that, I swear, at some point was fucking with me it was so bad. I'm blaming the gos for something I've done hundreds of times.

 

I put reminders in my phone all the time but still forget things and it's really starting to worry me. I seem to send myself into panic mode at the drop of a dime now and I'm worried about it.

  On 4/24/2011 at 2:39 PM, jules said:

I did get a new house and have a baby recently so I know that added stress plays a big role. I got a promotion at work last December and have a much more responsible role as well. without a doubt these three things are the biggest factor (I believe).

 

about 3 years ago I started to get major anxiety issues which manifested itself in panic attacks that scared me into going to a psych. I only saw him twice but got 30 Xanax and was told to take 1 daily or as needed. I had them for 7 months because just having them seemed to be comforting enough to me.

 

before going to the psych, I quit caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. I have not smoked pot for probably 7 or 8 years and any harder drugs even longer. I have recently been drinking more than I should and definitely having way more cigars than I should so that is not helping. I also really beat myself up a lot about silly things. I'll be pissed at myself for awhile about getting lost last night even though that gps is a piece of shit.

 

I think the puzzles/memory games sound like a smart idea though. I'd like to avoid going to a dr if possible. thanks for the help and suggestions guys.

Hey Jules,

couple of my thots if you're interested: 1. If someone came to me with exactly what you've said above I would first ask what the earlier anxiety was about. It doesnt sound like it was treated properly so you may find it crop up again from time to time if you get either very stressed or if those same conditions that caused it in the first place arise again (if they are different than just a general sort of stress). Xanax is a great drug... but to just be given a bottle of pills doesnt solve anything other than easing the next anxiety attack or as a crutch to ward off the fear of a future anxiety attack. Most people keep that bottle around with them until they basically forget that they need them. The brain is funny like that. Counselling in combo with xanax is the preferred method of dealing with this.

2. If you want a decent memory game you should check out "luminosity"... couple of my colleagues like it. you'll be able to test different parts of memory and then test against those scores which will give you a decent idea of any areas that are not working as well. It's something you have to pay for if you want all the functionality of it though I think. There might be a limited free section.

3. however, the three big stressors you mentioned (promotion, house, baby) (read: responsibility, responsibility, responsibility) are certainly favoured in my mind as the culprits over any sort of neurological problem. There would have to be some other VERY SERIOUS physical or psych issue or some other group of symptom than just memory that's cropped up recently before I'd venture into neurological deficit territory. Comprehension, concentration, memory, are all negatively affected by stress and anxiety. If the earlier anxiety was a result of increased, new, or sudden responsibility it might have more of an affect on you with the current group of stressors.

So, if we were to assume it's stress-related, I would do as much as you can to minimize/manage the stress... eat healthy, try to avoid stimulants (like you have except cut out the cigars), try to avoid depressants (like alcohol), try to stay relatively fit, take some "you" time on a regular basis, get a decent amount of sleep, work some FUN into each day if you can. I would also keep a journal to record stress level, sleep amounts, attitude, perceived abilities like your memory; when we're stressed we tend to look at/remember everything in a more negative light, so keeping a regular record will help balance that automatic bias.

Also, I'm never against counselling as long as it's CBT (cog. behavioural) or some sort of talk therapy for issues like this. In my opinion EVERYBODY should be seeing a psych on a weekly basis. It can be incredibly helpful to have an objective set of eyes providing perspective. Even psychs have psychs sometimes!

if you need any other info or help let me know and I'll do what I can.

Read this.

NOW

wow thanks Franklin. my anxiety before was directly related to work. at that time I was a regular smoker and drank lots of caffeine throughout the day. one day on the way home from work things started to go dark in one eye and by the time I got home I had no vision in my left eye and literally thought I was going to die.

these attacks started happening almost as if I talked myself into them and I went to a very dark place. it was almost as if I was thrown smack into the center of a bad trip. the psych I talked too didn't really do much for me personally but the xanex helped immediately and like I said, just knowing I had them was more than enough for me. I didn't really need to take them and things settled down rather quickly.

now it's almost as if I really need something to worry about but there is no shortage of things. it feels good to say these things finally but I'm finding it weird that I'm airing so much dirty laundry in a public forum to a bunch if strangers. it does seem like booze helps but I do seem to go overboard when i do drink (once or twice a week) and that directly promotes the cigar use.

I am not overweight and I do eat fairly well. I'm pretty fit and athletic but last year I herniated a disc in my back and have not done anything physical in over a year. I golf all the time, it's a huge outlet fir me and missing a whole summers worth last year definitely sucked. so that is extremely frustrating to me as well. it affects my sleeping, walking, sitting and holding my son. I have received cortisone epidurals and nerve root blocks but it's looking like I will need surgery but my health insurance sucks balls.

Jules, didn't you make a thread about this a couple of months ago?

  On 4/25/2011 at 5:41 AM, Kcinsu said:

Jules, didn't you make a thread about this a couple of months ago?

lol