fuck knives i'm using a wasp

Holy fucking lol.

LOL

  On 5/15/2011 at 3:59 AM, luke viia said:

I just went to get a belt off a pair of pants I had thrown on the floor and the most monstrous solid black spider I have ever seen came flying out of the pants

 

Same thing happened to me, but I got out of the shower and was picking up a clean pair of boxers off the floor to put on, literally with a foot in each leg hole. As I was pulling them up, a white-tail spider fell out of them and scurried away. The alternative possibility for this scenario disturbed me for a week.

If I spot a spider on the wall, I will smash it violently with a shoe. And leave it there as a message to its friends that I am not someone with whom to fuck.

this bug pheromone denotes: OH GOD NO

Before a night out I will often insert a wasp head first into my urethra. Then if someone attempts to mug me, I don't need to faff about in my pockets, I simply undo my fly, say the magic word 'weed', and I have an impromptu stabby stingy erection with which to defend myself.

This backfired a few years ago when I was caught by the rozzers chasing a couple of 13 year old girls with my throbbing wasp weapon. Allegedly they only wanted to ask if I was willing to donate to the NSPCC, but how was I supposed to know that, they weren't white. To be fair, it was outside M&S in Brixton at 3 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. Fortunately my father knows the chief inspector and the bitches are in borstal now.

  On 5/15/2011 at 7:26 AM, Space Coyote said:

Oh my god, that almost made me cry.

My mom once wrapped a wasp in with my lunch hour sandwich. I opened the cling wrap and was immediately stung. It was awesome. I hope to try this trick on my own kids some day. Not that I really want kids, I just want to try the wasp sandwich thing out on someone who will hopefully carry on the tradition.

Might I suggest a rabid beaver instead? That way to the potential mugger you can say "I've got this dripping young beaver do you want it" and the mugger will undoubtedly be all and you can pull it out and he'll bite the mugger* who will then get lockjaw and die.

Flawless plan.

*

how bouts a stoned rodent?

I used to kill wasps for fun in my backyard with the hose as a kid, sometimes a squirt gun.

business polar bear means business!

Millions of wasps.

  On 5/16/2011 at 6:22 AM, luke viia said:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDSf3Kshq1M

No seriously tho, shit is rad!

  On 5/16/2011 at 6:22 AM, luke viia said:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDSf3Kshq1M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGC9XtnHSU0

I'm not entirely sure I know what a wusp is? Is it like a wisp(rephlex) offshoot?

Also I heard wisp likes asparagus.

a wusp is an overly sensitive wasp

best thread I've seen all week

  On 5/16/2011 at 10:26 AM, essines said:

I'm not entirely sure I know what a wusp is? Is it like a wisp(rephlex) offshoot?

 

  On 5/16/2011 at 12:46 PM, BCM said:

a wusp is an overly sensitive wasp

It's French for wasp you idiots.

stop being such a wuss. get it?

  On 5/16/2011 at 4:34 PM, BCM said:

stop being such a wuss. get it?

Wusp