I got fired

In second grade I stole a glance at Sally Jane Carruthers. Bitch stole ma heart in return :(

fuck tha man amirite!

$30 of books > $$$ monthly salary

  On 7/26/2011 at 6:23 PM, Joyrex said:

Would it be wrong if I just changed his username to DERP?

  On 7/26/2011 at 1:19 PM, xxx said:

Careful with catching charges in college. I know for sure that a drug conviction of any variety blocks you from ever receiving financial aid. Not sure about others. I stole some gems from a psychiatric hospital I worked at in college.

 

1. Copy of the "big book" (Alcoholics Anonymous)

2. DSM-IIIR

3. Harrison's Principles Of Internal Medicine (a huge expensive motherfucker of a book--retails for $152 right now)

4. A huge plastic mat that fits under a desk for wheeled chairs to roll on

5. A poster that says "drugs give you plenty of things to look forward to". Each panel had something clever like "new friends" with a group of kids were shooting dope, "exercise" with a kid holding a stolen TV as he runs from the cops and finally "rest and relaxation" with a gravestone

6. Another poster that says "how are you feeling today?" and there is a kid's face expressing the particular feeling i.e. happy, sad, angry, excited, etc.

 

The ultimate heist I had not the balls nor the ability to pull off. A first edition arcade console of Space Invaders that still worked. It was stuffed in an old gymm that had been converted to junk storage. It was a travesty but I couldn't do shit about it.

I also stole some shit from the hospital I worked for. I stole loads and loads of unused urine sample bottles, because they make fantastic little containers for stuff.

Also I was a bassoon player back then, and bassoon players need unused urine bottles to soak their reeds in. Basically you need a small container that you can carry water in, and that can seal. So it's perfect. Fun fact, every bassoon player routinely steals unused urine sample bottles from the doctors office.

  On 7/26/2011 at 8:34 PM, KY said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 6:23 PM, Joyrex said:

Would it be wrong if I just changed his username to DERP?

So says the guy with the DERP taxidermy tiger for his avatar...

d*mn!!! u all are a bunch of h*ll raisers

  On 7/26/2011 at 8:42 PM, Joyrex said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 8:34 PM, KY said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 6:23 PM, Joyrex said:

Would it be wrong if I just changed his username to DERP?

 

So says the guy with the DERP taxidermy tiger for his avatar...

its a couger joyrex

oh SNAP

jk. but OP definitely need a derpier avatar after this thread.

  On 7/26/2011 at 8:45 PM, sup said:

d*mn!!! u all are a bunch of h*ll raisers

 

  On 7/26/2011 at 8:42 PM, Joyrex said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 8:34 PM, KY said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 6:23 PM, Joyrex said:

Would it be wrong if I just changed his username to DERP?

 

So says the guy with the DERP taxidermy tiger for his avatar...

its a couger joyrex

  On 7/26/2011 at 5:48 AM, Fred McGriff said:

i embezzle time from my employer

*end game*

  On 7/26/2011 at 4:27 AM, Root5 said:

I used to work feeding paralyzed patients in a hospital. I used to run around the halls shooting patients with waterguns. I didn't get fired.

 

Some of the patients brought water guns from home and battled me.

 

I got away with a lot of shit there.

  On 7/26/2011 at 4:27 AM, Root5 said:

paralyzed patients

  On 7/26/2011 at 4:27 AM, Root5 said:

Some of the patients brought water guns from home and battled me.

wut

They couldn't even eat by themselves, yet they managed to go home and participate in watergun fights?

  On 7/26/2011 at 10:07 PM, ThatSpanishGuy said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 4:27 AM, Root5 said:

I used to work feeding paralyzed patients in a hospital. I used to run around the halls shooting patients with waterguns. I didn't get fired.

 

Some of the patients brought water guns from home and battled me.

 

I got away with a lot of shit there.

 

  On 7/26/2011 at 4:27 AM, Root5 said:

paralyzed patients

 

  On 7/26/2011 at 4:27 AM, Root5 said:

Some of the patients brought water guns from home and battled me.

 

wut

 

They couldn't even eat by themselves, yet they managed to go home and participate in watergun fights?

There were different patients there for different reasons. My main duty was to feed paralyzed patients.

Nobody likes playing with campers anyway

The OP is a model citizen. Fuck everything right now. You got the right attitude, man. Keep on keepin' on.

  On 7/26/2011 at 8:38 PM, Root5 said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 1:19 PM, xxx said:

Careful with catching charges in college. I know for sure that a drug conviction of any variety blocks you from ever receiving financial aid. Not sure about others. I stole some gems from a psychiatric hospital I worked at in college.

 

1. Copy of the "big book" (Alcoholics Anonymous)

2. DSM-IIIR

3. Harrison's Principles Of Internal Medicine (a huge expensive motherfucker of a book--retails for $152 right now)

4. A huge plastic mat that fits under a desk for wheeled chairs to roll on

5. A poster that says "drugs give you plenty of things to look forward to". Each panel had something clever like "new friends" with a group of kids were shooting dope, "exercise" with a kid holding a stolen TV as he runs from the cops and finally "rest and relaxation" with a gravestone

6. Another poster that says "how are you feeling today?" and there is a kid's face expressing the particular feeling i.e. happy, sad, angry, excited, etc.

 

The ultimate heist I had not the balls nor the ability to pull off. A first edition arcade console of Space Invaders that still worked. It was stuffed in an old gymm that had been converted to junk storage. It was a travesty but I couldn't do shit about it.

 

I also stole some shit from the hospital I worked for. I stole loads and loads of unused urine sample bottles, because they make fantastic little containers for stuff.

 

Also I was a bassoon player back then, and bassoon players need unused urine bottles to soak their reeds in. Basically you need a small container that you can carry water in, and that can seal. So it's perfect. Fun fact, every bassoon player routinely steals unused urine sample bottles from the doctors office.

That is a fun fact, but you'd think they could just steal one and use it for ages, or use one of any number of more easily accesible small containers

  On 7/27/2011 at 1:16 AM, Coalbucket PI said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 8:38 PM, Root5 said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 1:19 PM, xxx said:

Careful with catching charges in college. I know for sure that a drug conviction of any variety blocks you from ever receiving financial aid. Not sure about others. I stole some gems from a psychiatric hospital I worked at in college.

 

1. Copy of the "big book" (Alcoholics Anonymous)

2. DSM-IIIR

3. Harrison's Principles Of Internal Medicine (a huge expensive motherfucker of a book--retails for $152 right now)

4. A huge plastic mat that fits under a desk for wheeled chairs to roll on

5. A poster that says "drugs give you plenty of things to look forward to". Each panel had something clever like "new friends" with a group of kids were shooting dope, "exercise" with a kid holding a stolen TV as he runs from the cops and finally "rest and relaxation" with a gravestone

6. Another poster that says "how are you feeling today?" and there is a kid's face expressing the particular feeling i.e. happy, sad, angry, excited, etc.

 

The ultimate heist I had not the balls nor the ability to pull off. A first edition arcade console of Space Invaders that still worked. It was stuffed in an old gymm that had been converted to junk storage. It was a travesty but I couldn't do shit about it.

 

I also stole some shit from the hospital I worked for. I stole loads and loads of unused urine sample bottles, because they make fantastic little containers for stuff.

 

Also I was a bassoon player back then, and bassoon players need unused urine bottles to soak their reeds in. Basically you need a small container that you can carry water in, and that can seal. So it's perfect. Fun fact, every bassoon player routinely steals unused urine sample bottles from the doctors office.

That is a fun fact, but you'd think they could just steal one and use it for ages, or use one of any number of more easily accesible small containers

There other containers that work okay, but the urine bottle is really the perfect size and shape.

And you know, you want some extras in case something happens to the first. And depending on how often you change the water it can get kinda gross, so you want to replace it every now and then.

film canisters are actually what MOST bassoon players use...

  On 7/27/2011 at 2:59 AM, dr lopez said:

film canisters are actually what MOST bassoon players use...

I've seen a couple, but in my experience most use urine bottles.

  On 7/26/2011 at 1:22 PM, Squee said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 1:19 PM, xxx said:

4. A huge plastic mat that fits under a desk for wheeled chairs to roll on

 

Hahahaha! Wut?!

Sounds like you stole it just for the sake of stealing something

no, those things are invaluable in any carpeted home office.

wheeled chair, not wheel chair!

  On 7/27/2011 at 1:36 AM, Root5 said:

There other containers that work okay, but the urine bottle is really the perfect size and shape.

 

And you know, you want some extras in case something happens to the first. And depending on how often you change the water it can get kinda gross, so you want to replace it every now and then.

  On 7/27/2011 at 3:58 AM, essines said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 1:22 PM, Squee said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 1:19 PM, xxx said:

4. A huge plastic mat that fits under a desk for wheeled chairs to roll on

 

Hahahaha! Wut?!

Sounds like you stole it just for the sake of stealing something

no, those things are invaluable in any carpeted home office.

 

wheeled chair, not wheel chair!

Lol! I think castors is the technical term

  On 7/26/2011 at 2:58 AM, Smettingham Rutherford IV said:

theres also a really cool way to steal books and read and learn from them.

 

 

theres this weird place near my place called a libury. it works like this

 

 

-you find a book...ANY book you want that they have

-you go to the front and you "steal" it for an allotted amount of time

-you read it

-you return it whenever you feel like, sometimes they get pissed that you stole a book and charge you a dollar or two, but thats like, whatever. certainly doesn't cost you a job.

 

i dunno if this is a localized phenomenon, but i heard the cops might be shutting it down soon.

ahh bless. Common sense you can bottle.

Also, the job didn't cramp your style, it helped you pay for it.

I wonder if this isn't a troll moment thread.