when half your body weight is impacted shit

  On 7/27/2011 at 12:51 PM, delet... said:

  On 7/26/2011 at 6:44 AM, abusivegeorge said:

What do you do? Do you tell someone? Or do you go out like John Wayne and hopefully make history?

 

warm water enema. Get the wet in a jet up and get set for some express mess. Or something.

Ive had so many warm water enemas in my life time

Do continue.

Mostly from when I was a kid I had impacted bowel due to lack of liquid being used in movement of my shits so it just sticks like glue untill a tube like syringe injecting warm water goes up my ass and I end up shitting a 4 foot tree on the floor

most of my life has been incontinence when theres a sudden upsidedown volcano of poo on my ass going off in a diaper or a pad

I've always wanted a colonic since I saw it on jackass, I think you'd feel like a billion bucks after. I also need to get a netti pot which is like a colonic irrigation for your FACE

  On 7/28/2011 at 1:45 AM, Craig Anderson said:

Mostly from when I was a kid I had impacted bowel due to lack of liquid being used in movement of my shits so it just sticks like glue untill a tube like syringe injecting warm water goes up my ass and I end up shitting a 4 foot tree on the floor

 

most of my life has been incontinence when theres a sudden upsidedown volcano of poo on my ass going off in a diaper or a pad

craig anderson bringing the lols as per

INT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT

WIDE: Backlit by a cool blue light the bongo man begins his pitter patter rhythm as a dark suited figure makes his way to a stool centre stage. A soft spotlight. The figure is Anderson. He takes a long drag on his cigarette. There’s a whistle from a young woman sat at the bar.

MID: Tom Cruise sits at his regular table. He feigns disinterest and initializes a sleeper on his prototype 48 ball bearing yo-yo.

WIDE: Anderson exhales and the smoke forms the shape of a tube like syringe above the audience. Its plunger depresses expelling yet more smoke before dissipating.

CLOSE: Anderson clutches the microphone with his left hand and tenderly brings it close, as if it were a beautiful woman.

  On 7/26/2011 at 2:20 PM, Ranky Redlof said:

i sometiems have an alien belly and when i shit there is loads of slimey stuff comming out of my arse

oh and the shit is orangy in color

doctor says its irritated bowel syndrome or something

 

dead soon

my life story! i bet that diet would totally eliminate it. i'll find out some other month.

  On 7/28/2011 at 2:21 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

  On 7/28/2011 at 1:45 AM, Craig Anderson said:

Mostly from when I was a kid I had impacted bowel due to lack of liquid being used in movement of my shits so it just sticks like glue untill a tube like syringe injecting warm water goes up my ass and I end up shitting a 4 foot tree on the floor

 

most of my life has been incontinence when theres a sudden upsidedown volcano of poo on my ass going off in a diaper or a pad

craig anderson bringing the lols as per

The promise of Craig Anderson has at last been realized/ we have immanentized the cranderson eschaton

watmm always finds a way, given enough time or barring that a warm water enema.

I hate everyone here

We're laughing with you this time, Craig. That was a good description.

When I was little I used to have these hard stools and it tore a nice fissure right in my anus, and I'd shit in the morning and freak out because the bowl was filled with that unnaturally bright red capillary blood. The first time, my dad was convinced some had got to me during the night, and he started crying in front of me. This big guy, crying in front of me while blood dripped from my ass. I thought it was all over.

  On 7/28/2011 at 9:43 PM, baph said:

We're laughing with you this time, Craig. That was a good description.

 

 

When I was little I used to have these hard stools and it tore a nice fissure right in my anus, and I'd shit in the morning and freak out because the bowl was filled with that unnaturally bright red capillary blood. The first time, my dad was convinced some had got to me during the night, and he started crying in front of me. This big guy, crying in front of me while blood dripped from my ass. I thought it was all over.

No way !! No fucking way.

Yeah I had blood plenty times before, The toilet bowl looked like something from a horror movie cus the colour was that deep red like oil based paint.

  On 7/28/2011 at 2:53 AM, futuregirlfriend said:

INT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT

 

WIDE: Backlit by a cool blue light the bongo man begins his pitter patter rhythm as a dark suited figure makes his way to a stool centre stage. A soft spotlight. The figure is Anderson. He takes a long drag on his cigarette. There’s a whistle from a young woman sat at the bar.

 

MID: Tom Cruise sits at his regular table. He feigns disinterest and initializes a sleeper on his prototype 48 ball bearing yo-yo.

 

WIDE: Anderson exhales and the smoke forms the shape of a tube like syringe above the audience. Its plunger depresses expelling yet more smoke before dissipating.

 

CLOSE: Anderson clutches the microphone with his left hand and tenderly brings it close, as if it were a beautiful woman.

 

ANDERSON:

I’ve had so many warm water enemas in my lifetime.

this is so beautiful

i love that you stopped there, i would watch this film 27,584 times

  On 7/28/2011 at 9:43 PM, baph said:

We're laughing with you this time, Craig. That was a good description.

 

 

When I was little I used to have these hard stools and it tore a nice fissure right in my anus, and I'd shit in the morning and freak out because the bowl was filled with that unnaturally bright red capillary blood. The first time, my dad was convinced some had got to me during the night, and he started crying in front of me. This big guy, crying in front of me while blood dripped from my ass. I thought it was all over.

LOL, the whole, him thinking it was a pedophile that has done it just makes this fucking incredibly awesome, god job baph, on ruining your Dads entire life.

  On 7/29/2011 at 10:18 AM, rumbo said:

World's longest shit

lol its on a bowling alley