Monogamy and alternatives

I have a friend almost in the same situation, he wants to fuck around but girlfriend wouldn't be up for that, she's starting to get afraid and they get into stupid fights about facebook and shit, they're good together but it is kinda destroying the relationship slowly.

I have another (female) friend who always has open relationships, she even had a child with her then boyfriend but they kept it open, meaning they could both sleep with other people as long as the other didn't find out. Don't ask, don't tell. This I feel is healthy but most people wouldn't accept this kind of deal.

so yes, what hoodie said.

Sometimes people really want to sleep around, and will feel like they seriously missed out if they didn't.

Sometimes people have passing desires to sleep around, but it isn't that serious and they'd do best to just ignore it.

Which camp do you think you're in?

As long as you're alive, you'll always oogle other women and ocasionally fantasize about sex with them - everybody does that. It doesn't mean you have to act on it, though.

I had been single for some 4 years, but I've now been with someone steady for a few months. I think there are times in your life to be single and do whatever with whoever you want, a guy/gal needs that. Sometimes you need to go through a long while of one night stands and fuck buddies, until you realize what a a solid relationship means to you (and in what terms you want it). If commitment doesn't mean much to you, don't have it and wait until it does. But if she's important to you, respect her.

do what you want while you can

  On 12/8/2011 at 7:02 PM, Hoodie said:

monogamy isn't for some people & polyamory isn't for some people. moral of the story: date someone that is in the same group as you. less drama that way.

 

  On 12/8/2011 at 6:53 PM, azatoth said:

  On 12/8/2011 at 6:33 PM, sneaksta303 said:

what if i just like, fuck his ass or something?

 

Not gay, only if dicks touch, or you're the catcher.

 

this is an interesting point. some people would only engage in homosexual behavior in the context of group sex. why is that?

I haven't been in a relationship for about four years, so I've just been messing around in the meantime. I recently was dating a girl I really liked, but she didn't feel the same way about me, and every time I get burnt by a girl, I turn into an even bigger slut. Blagh.

how do you be a slut? How do you sleep around? How do you have one night stands? I can't do it? I want to. I haven't had sex in forever.

  On 12/8/2011 at 7:58 PM, Awepittance said:

  On 12/8/2011 at 3:07 PM, patternoverlap said:

If you want to fuck around with other women then you don't want to be in a long-term relationship.

i think for most people this applies but certain people are capable of having long-term relationships with more than 1 partner

( i am not one of them)

sure, hoodie kinda captured this in her post. if his ladyfriend isn`t into it then it`s time for change.

i enjoyed your posts in the okc thread, marf, so i hope you document your quest for the answers.

  On 12/9/2011 at 2:18 AM, marf said:

how do you be a slut? How do you sleep around? How do you have one night stands? I can't do it? I want to. I haven't had sex in forever.

Man, it takes a lot of falling on your face, to be honest. I used to say the dumbest shit, but I figured it out eventually. More or less. I'm no Casanova [obviously, since I post on watmm...], but I do fine.

Basically, though, you just have to be relaxed, confident, and able to make interesting conversation without going off the deep end. People like to talk about themselves, so ask them general questions about themselves. This is, of course, if you've been introduced or have some connection to them. Going up to someone in a bar is very difficult. That's like cold-calling someone. You kind of have to put yourself in a position where you'll have an "in" to open a conversation.

And if all that fails, you just have to accept the fact that none of them are really that into you, or they're seeing someone already, so don't ever take it personally if things don't work out the way you want them to. Just play the hand you were dealt, you know?

  On 12/9/2011 at 2:18 AM, marf said:

how do you be a slut? How do you sleep around? How do you have one night stands? I can't do it? I want to. I haven't had sex in forever.

Most men can't be sluts, Braintree is suave and particularly attractive to the opposite sex. Also I think it helps to go to parties and bars and so on.

That said, I am very monogamous. I have been in this relationship for nearly 3 years, and I am so happy with my girl that I will not mind if I never get with another person for the rest of my life.

  On 12/9/2011 at 2:39 AM, Braintree said:

  On 12/9/2011 at 2:18 AM, marf said:

how do you be a slut? How do you sleep around? How do you have one night stands? I can't do it? I want to. I haven't had sex in forever.

 

Man, it takes a lot of falling on your face, to be honest. I used to say the dumbest shit, but I figured it out eventually. More or less. I'm no Casanova [obviously, since I post on watmm...], but I do fine.

 

Basically, though, you just have to be relaxed, confident, and able to make interesting conversation without going off the deep end. People like to talk about themselves, so ask them general questions about themselves. This is, of course, if you've been introduced or have some connection to them. Going up to someone in a bar is very difficult. That's like cold-calling someone. You kind of have to put yourself in a position where you'll have an "in" to open a conversation.

 

And if all that fails, you just have to accept the fact that none of them are really that into you, or they're seeing someone already, so don't ever take it personally if things don't work out the way you want them to. Just play the hand you were dealt, you know?

word.

Oh yeah, and never go out expecting to get laid. It won't happen.

u guys are way too obsessed with all this sex stuff imo

You shouldn't be reading this thread. And it's passed your bedtime.

lol as if

im aloud to stay up however late i want

For the ones having a hard time scoring, it's all about confidence. Trust me. You have no idea how hot women you can score.

oh I'm so gonna tell

I tend to end up in semi-polyamorous relationships . . very centered around each other but with permissions to go outside if the situation arises. It's a trade off for me, it's helped me work on my jealousy, though I've far from vanquished it. Both my girlfriend & I just get hardons for lots of people, so we want to be able to do them if need be.

For me it also helps as a sort of emotional placebo - I have weird commitment issues and it helps me be OK with one person if I feel I have the option to mess with other people.

Obviously I'm a mess but my day by day is very peaceful this way. Take it as you will

  On 12/9/2011 at 6:10 AM, A/D said:

Both my girlfriend & I just get hardons

thread just got interesting

lol

lol

lol

Thank you WATMM for reminding me that while I'm sitting on my couch browsing this forum my ex is getting fucked by some guy she has just met who hasn't had to deal with his shit for 3 years, love you all