I've been thinking about considering a career as a Stand Up Comedian

what's the difference between a duck?

  On 9/21/2012 at 9:25 PM, BCM said:

what's the difference between a duck?

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

IT'S BIGGER

 

this is fucking brilliant

i've been thinking about doing a one man show at the edinborough festival. going to call it - i haven't really thought this through

don't have any jokes or funny stories or owt. just get half cut n talk shit. if anyone pulls me up on it being rubbish or heckles etc i can say

well i haven't really thought this through

Pleb,Pud Or Podd whatever your called you can be my warm up guy and i'll have a pick of all your spare hunnys

fanny magnet + one liners, props, gags ... shit guy i'll have to look out for you on letterman , i always thought it was a stoner version of countdown, turns out it's a chat show.

ya live and learn

ever notice how they put repeats of countdown on at 4:30am on a sun morning. 2 and a half hours of letters and numbers. Its for the pill nation,watch that program with a relaxed chilled baked cerebral cortex. it's a fooking doddle. man if i could eat a few smarties or have abit of MD about 4 hours before they started recording i'd be countdown champion

boomshanka

  On 12/12/2011 at 1:50 PM, mcbpete said:

Self deprecation is one of the main ingredients in a stand-up's erm, blancmange....

"how many does a get it for if only one has his nine four fingers?" A: "because if he gets only having for already been here then could take on all five finger done by now!"

l

eh, not the greatest, but he might be warming up.

  On 12/21/2011 at 9:42 AM, ghOsty said:

What's the deal with Airline food?...

The deal is they charge you for it now.

On second thought, it's not much of a deal at all...

my grandfather was at a concentration camp

my grandfather was at a concentration camp

<Spoiler>They let him out cause he had ADD. See, he couldn't concentrate. He was all scatter brained and nazis hate that . </Spoiler>

How do you do the spoiler thing? Im an idiot! lol

That one time i had a talk in front of a group of people and started with a funny intro, the crowd got into a laugh and a general good mood. Kinda like magic! God bless you, if you're able to do that many times. It feels awesome to tame a multi headed crowd like a single beast!

lol marf, that's the forum equivalent of this:

[youtubehd]u9F0svqEtw4[/youtubehd]

  On 4/10/2013 at 8:12 AM, marf said:

my grandfather was at a concentration camp

 

<Spoiler>They let him out cause he had ADD. See, he couldn't concentrate. He was all scatter brained and nazis hate that . </Spoiler>

 

How do you do the spoiler thing? Im an idiot! lol

Click on that "Special BBCode" icon to the left of the Font selector. Then scroll down and ye shall find it.

I could probably only do a stand-up gig after a beer or two, because it boosts my humour factor for some reason.

Lol

Now where is that punchline....

He could still be good though, if he'd had a punchline.

I was gonna start a new thread, figured I'd just bump this one.

I've gone to two open mics now, first one went well, second one I bombed and forgot half of my jokes. There was this one chick in the audience who would not stop fucking with the comedians the whole time. One guy didn't even get to any of his jokes, he just made fun of her the whole time.

Stand up is super fun for me. I don't even think I'm that naturally funny but I really like doing it. I'll likely give up on it after I get bored of it in two months, but I hope it sticks.

ah now i know why he hates Russell Brand. jealous. Russ needs to do more stand up again.

https://youtu.be/gL7JRj3ZBJE

Wow that is so funny!

I sometimes go to open mic nights and narrate chatmm in real time

I sometimes go to open mic nights and show dank memes powerpoint presentations in real time

  On 11/27/2015 at 6:51 AM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

 

  On 11/26/2015 at 8:37 PM, gmanyo said:

I was gonna start a new thread, figured I'd just bump this one.

 

I've gone to two open mics now, first one went well, second one I bombed and forgot half of my jokes. There was this one chick in the audience who would not stop fucking with the comedians the whole time. One guy didn't even get to any of his jokes, he just made fun of her the whole time.

 

Stand up is super fun for me. I don't even think I'm that naturally funny but I really like doing it. I'll likely give up on it after I get bored of it in two months, but I hope it sticks.

many comedians say their first time goes quite well and then they bomb multiple times after. i'm not entirely sure why this is, maybe expecting it to get the same reaction means comics are more hyper sensitive to when it doesn't go quite as well. i think if you can make a few people laugh that must feel pretty good though.

 

what was this girl in the audience doing btw?

 

I think a lot of things are like that, even something like making music. It's like the first time you try something all of the information you absorbed over the entirety of your life goes into one thing, but then after that your total lack of experience shows.

The chick in the audience was just commenting on everyone's jokes, or just commenting in general. She yelled out that she liked this guy's flannel once, that's the only one I really remember other than some of the shit she said during my set. She was one of the three total people in the audience other than the comedians themselves, the other two being her aunt and uncle. It was a weird vibe.

did an open mic night a few years ago to bridge my paranoia with public speaking to large audiences

playing records off my tits to various spangled people round the world = no problem,,,,,,actually speaking in front of 400/500people is another matter entirely, even with MA prsentations & work presentations had fuck all on this

was sick b4 the call on, which is a cliche but felt like heartburn then blurggggggggh, rinsed out with mouthwash n toothpaste, a glass of water and on i went

i made a few cracks about the hypocrisy of the origins of the English race, which went down pretty well in a pub frequented by Welsh nationalists.....stone cold sober (had been off the booze a matter of weeks and couldnt recommend such an experience highty enough)

taken all kinds of druqks over the decades and none of them topped the rush coming off that stage after 30mins in the viper's den

doi it!

Mr Brand needs to return to America for a few decades then arrive back in Blighty, a lizard skinned, herpetic, hpv infested cosmetic surgery gone wrong wreck in about 30yrs.........then its the yanks who get to enjoy his may "talents" in the interim

i notice the days of the vertical version of his male equivalent of the les grandes Amy WInehouse bouffant has now passed, such a shame

  On 11/27/2015 at 9:06 AM, MDM Chaos said:

ah now i know why he hates Russell Brand. jealous. Russ needs to do more stand up again.

 

https://youtu.be/gL7JRj3ZBJE

I think the ladies like russel brand the same way i like Maria Kirilenko, ill pretend to love what she is doing so i can fantasize about you know what ........ fucking.