First Aid First Aid

if you've become ill or had an injury then you can post it here

if you have a cure then post it

* warning

the suggestions given in this thread should in no way be relied upon in the case of serious illness or injury. if you are having

an emergency then don't listen to watmm, contact a healthcare professional forthwith

Heres one i picked up when we decided to jump over benches when we were piss. My cure was to stop doing stupid shit when Im pissed.

Recently, when I began showing signs of an early stage of priapism, I instinctively licked and closed my hand before shoving my penis into the underside of the fist. Aside from an untimely discharge and the guilty malaise that followed, the treatment was a success and I was able to resume posting within a nap's length.

lol

hey can you stop tagging the same word as the thread title in every thread you make (esp. new releases) we don't need to read it twice in two different fonts and two different colors thanks.

one time I was really constipated I thought I had appendicitis

I split my knee open when I was younger. I could SEE my KNEECAP.

  On 3/27/2012 at 2:57 AM, Ivan Ooze said:

  On 3/27/2012 at 2:44 AM, kaen said:

BAM.

oh fuck! is that you?

aye.

  On 3/27/2012 at 3:33 AM, kaen said:

  On 3/27/2012 at 2:57 AM, Ivan Ooze said:

  On 3/27/2012 at 2:44 AM, kaen said:

BAM.

oh fuck! is that you?

 

aye.

there is thread about this somewheres. my goodness me that is deep, gushing gash. glad your still with us friend

Fuck kaen, that photo gets me every time, nasty!

Did it hurt as much as it looks like it did? Or was it more painful afterwards?

  On 3/27/2012 at 2:13 AM, Adjective said:

Recently, when I began showing signs of an early stage of priapism, I instinctively licked and closed my hand before shoving my penis into the underside of the fist. Aside from an untimely discharge and the guilty malaise that followed, the treatment was a success and I was able to resume posting within a nap's length.

crikey that sounds like it was a close one.

Heads always bleed the most too!

  On 3/27/2012 at 3:40 AM, chassis said:

Fuck kaen, that photo gets me every time, nasty!

 

Did it hurt as much as it looks like it did? Or was it more painful afterwards?

I felt no pain whatsoever until about a week after, i had thumping headaches and dizzy spells. Im positive that my brain was damaged, my reaction times are slow and im less sharp than i used to be, generally i feel less capable of quick thinking/problem solving...they did no scans or anything though because i was so with it at the hospital cracking jokes and generally being a bad ass, i think it was a mixture of alcohol, shock and actually being a bad ass. Oh well, too late now, im forever slow poke.

  On 3/27/2012 at 2:19 PM, kaen said:

  On 3/27/2012 at 3:40 AM, chassis said:

Fuck kaen, that photo gets me every time, nasty!

 

Did it hurt as much as it looks like it did? Or was it more painful afterwards?

 

I felt no pain whatsoever until about a week after, i had thumping headaches and dizzy spells. Im positive that my brain was damaged, my reaction times are slow and im less sharp than i used to be, generally i feel less capable of quick thinking/problem solving...they did no scans or anything though because i was so with it at the hospital cracking jokes and generally being a bad ass, i think it was a mixture of alcohol, shock and actually being a bad ass. Oh well, too late now, im forever slow poke.

If you're that sure you should probably get it done anyway.

At least the bad ass part of the brain wasnt damaged.

I think it was first caused between human and ape contact.. wait, what?

I think we've already had a winner in this thread. But, I've had a bruised rib, dislocated shoulder and some huge leg swelling this year so far.

I could have died in a bike crash a few months ago. The helmet saved my skull from any injury at all, completely asborbing the 30 mph impact.

My hands punched and ripped on pavement, and it fractured whichever bone connects to fingers. I had road rash and huge gaping wounds in my knuckles and arms.

was riding really, really fast through a parking lot and my front wheel fell right into a large dimple.. or something.

I don't know what it was, some kind of pavement laying defect that sucked my wheel into it..

After impact within seconds a couple asked to help. Turns out the guy was a sports physician.

He guided me into the panera bread where I crashed at, and I bleed out everywhere while people ate their sandwiches.

When i was like 6, at school and while jumping and messing around with a pencil, i accidentally hit my eyelid with its peak.

A couple of years ago, while playing pool with my friends, one of them made such a powerful shot that his club escaped from both hands and hit me near the eye, again.

I nearly got blind these two times. I don't know what this means, but it gives me the chills to think about it.

I had a misery kidney stone taken out of me in december and fragments taken out in febuary allso

  On 3/27/2012 at 9:04 PM, cumberland sauce said:

 

I had a misery kidney stone taken out of me in december and fragments taken out in febuary allso

NOOO

*drinks water*

What pain medication were you given?

My mother had misery stones as well.. they gave her dilaudid. It was the first time seeing my mother on any kind of drug.. some lol moments

When the attacks would happen it was like she was paralyzed and couldn't move at all

I was on Co-dydramol but it was causeing me stomach cramps and adominal pain so I was then put on co-codamol and some other drug that has a simalar name like oprozemol for easeing my stomach and putting a lining back on it. Pissing blood was not fun tho.

8mm misry stone taken out of me and a stent put in me and then the stent was taken out few months later and a 3 mm stone taken out after that as well.

id rather take a fence post to the head any day over that shit passing through my pisser. fuck right off.

  On 3/27/2012 at 7:57 PM, Joyrex said:

I think it was first caused between human and ape contact.. wait, what?

isn't this like your second aids joke this week lol

All be honist am supprised theres no arrow to the knee jokes been passed here yet

well we try not to just repeat tired internet memes from even more tired video games round these parts