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Job Centre bullshit rules

oscillik

By oscillik
in General Banter

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oscillik Grand Master

oscillik

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  On 5/23/2012 at 10:26 PM, chunky said:

go to china

10-30 quid an hour

easy work teaching kids

 

my English is atrocious. And I don't tolerate kids very well.

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baph Grand Master

baph

Posted
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  On 5/23/2012 at 10:19 PM, oscillik said:

 

"Excuse me, I think the training materials you have are incorrect - it's Cisco spelled C I S C O" (I think that's a reasonably polite and concise way of letting them know it's wrong)

 

"No it isn't."

 

 

182c75aa-5c7e-47eb-8e52-05a3c82c942e_star_trek_benjamin_sisko.jpg

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Guest chunky

Guest chunky

Posted
Posted (edited)
  On 5/23/2012 at 11:21 PM, sirch said:

20 pound an hour really isn't that great. plus he'd have to live in China. i mean... China?

 

Yeah I guess screaming at security guards at a job centre is preferable

 

 

Rules for Students

 

These rules were put forth by Charles Sykes in his book "Dumbing Down America". They have floated through the Internet being attributed to Bill Gates. Most often they appear with 11 rules leaving off three that the original author had written.

 

Bill Gates' Message on Life

For recent high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did not learn in school.

In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good, politically-correct teachings created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

RULE 1......Life is not fair; get used to it.

RULE 2......The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3......You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4......If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5......Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

RULE 6......If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7......Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

RULE 8......Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9......Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summer off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10.....Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11.....Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Edited by chunky
Squee Grand Master

Squee

Posted
Posted
  On 5/23/2012 at 8:37 PM, baph said:

Osc, in the U.S. you would have been forced to actually discard the beverage in the garbage, wrestled to the ground, and subjected to a boot stamping on your face -- forever

 

Kanakori post in 3, 2, 1... oh wait, I banned him.

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Guest boo

Guest boo

Posted
Posted (edited)

i don't get why security guards are almost always so tiny... i'm not really sure if i'm scared of them. they look like they're hiding fear. it's like those small yappy dogs... scared and protective of their old lady. whereas labradors are no worry.

 

it seems like people who put more effort in get worse treatment at the job centre... because they either think you're lying or that you must suck quite a lot if you put that effort in without results. i briefly signed-on again last year and had a peep at my file from the other time, it said "might be in full-time employment".. i rang them and even visited them and said "i have a full-time job, bye bye", and they didn't even believe that. edit: they also phoned up my new employer and did a nice job of giving the impression that i'm not trustworthy.. nice one.

 

but i guess that's partially down to...me.

 

the thing is, it makes sense for it to not be a comfortable place but they take it to the level that it's depressing and de-motivating.

 

 

what's needed is an out of work disabled pregnant woman to collapse of dehydration, die in a job centre, and her family to sue them for it

Edited by tauboo
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