Flatmate woes

maybe he's downloading all kinds of sordid shit on your b/band account.

  On 3/25/2013 at 11:52 PM, Iain C said:

Her room, fine. Communal space, she should run it past you first. But unless he's being very intrusive, making himself cups of tea etc, I'd be alright with it - along with the understanding that I'm free to come in, smoke a spliff and fart a lot.

 

I've lived in some shit / messy / overcrowded situations over the past few years, so I'm a pretty tolerant housemate as long as you're tidy and don't have sex too loudly.

wat if u were smokin a spliff and the guy kept looking at it and obviously wanted some and was making u uncomfortable

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:05 PM, BCM said:

I think kakapo needs to get his own place. Is this a practical possibility? Whereabouts in London are you atm?

Brixton. Living on my own would cost an extra £400-£600 pcm in rent and bills. I can afford it, but I'd rather save the money. Is avoiding the odd hassle worth 6 grand a year? Probably not.

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:16 PM, auxien said:

one question: did you and your flatmate discuss the boundaries of other people staying over and such previous to moving in together?

It was discussed but not in any great depth. People staying over is fine, which she knows. It never occurred to me to have to sit her down and tell her that having her boyfriend sit in the house all day, making food and setting up the living room as his study is a no no. I think most people would instinctively understand this as a transgression, and at the very least ask beforehand. Having said that, she would've still been told not acceptable.

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:17 PM, keltoi said:

maybe he's downloading all kinds of sordid shit on your b/band account.

To be honest, the more people using my broadband, the more possible defences I'll have when I end up in court.

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:35 PM, RichieBees said:

 

  On 3/25/2013 at 11:52 PM, Iain C said:

Her room, fine. Communal space, she should run it past you first. But unless he's being very intrusive, making himself cups of tea etc, I'd be alright with it - along with the understanding that I'm free to come in, smoke a spliff and fart a lot.

 

I've lived in some shit / messy / overcrowded situations over the past few years, so I'm a pretty tolerant housemate as long as you're tidy and don't have sex too loudly.

 

wat if u were smokin a spliff and the guy kept looking at it and obviously wanted some and was making u uncomfortable

I'd always share, even with my non-existent housemate's non-existent boyfriend.

  On 3/26/2013 at 12:20 AM, kakapo said:

No, he's not a cunt, seems like a nice enough lad and he's reasonably considerate.

 

Joint tenancy, no locks on doors, technically no such thing as individual rooms. Also had problems in the past with a flatmate's one night stand robbing me of about 4 grands worth of stuff and another flatmate's partner going through my room when I was away for a couple of days. Also possible issues with insurance. So it's not just about feeling put out, there are practical considerations.

See, that's why you don't want people in your apartment when you (or your friend) are not there... they can act unsupervised, and do whatever they want - including violating your privacy and robbing you blind.

  On 3/26/2013 at 4:17 PM, kakapo said:

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:05 PM, BCM said:

I think kakapo needs to get his own place. Is this a practical possibility? Whereabouts in London are you atm?

 

Brixton. Living on my own would cost an extra £400-£600 pcm in rent and bills. I can afford it, but I'd rather save the money. Is avoiding the odd hassle worth 6 grand a year? Probably not.

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:16 PM, auxien said:

>one question: did you and your flatmate discuss the boundaries of other people staying over and such previous to moving in together?

 

It was discussed but not in any great depth. People staying over is fine, which she knows. It never occurred to me to have to sit her down and tell her that having her boyfriend sit in the house all day, making food and setting up the living room as his study is a no no. I think most people would instinctively understand this as a transgression, and at the very least ask beforehand. Having said that, she would've still been told not acceptable.

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:17 PM, keltoi said:

maybe he's downloading all kinds of sordid shit on your b/band account.

 

To be honest, the more people using my broadband, the more possible defences I'll have when I end up in court.

 

I wouldn't assume that - here in the US there's been cases of people held responsible for other people using their wifi/internet for piracy and the owner is in most cases responsible...

  On 3/26/2013 at 4:17 PM, kakapo said:

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:05 PM, BCM said:

I think kakapo needs to get his own place. Is this a practical possibility? Whereabouts in London are you atm?

 

Brixton. Living on my own would cost an extra £400-£600 pcm in rent and bills. I can afford it, but I'd rather save the money. Is avoiding the odd hassle worth 6 grand a year? Probably not.

yeah fair enough, stupid london prices...only reason i've got "my own place" is coz i live with my bird, although i've got a mate who's got a realy nice 1 bed in hanwell for about £780 which is not too bad...means living in hanwell though...

  On 3/26/2013 at 4:17 PM, kakapo said:

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:16 PM, auxien said:

one question: did you and your flatmate discuss the boundaries of other people staying over and such previous to moving in together?

 

It was discussed but not in any great depth. People staying over is fine, which she knows. It never occurred to me to have to sit her down and tell her that having her boyfriend sit in the house all day, making food and setting up the living room as his study is a no no. I think most people would instinctively understand this as a transgression, and at the very least ask beforehand. Having said that, she would've still been told not acceptable.

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:17 PM, keltoi said:

>maybe he's downloading all kinds of sordid shit on your b/band account.

 

To be honest, the more people using my broadband, the more possible defences I'll have when I end up in court.

 

lol

plus, yeah...i just can't imagine being more cautious at the outset when you've had such bad experiences in the past...which definitely sucks man. at least it doesn't seem to be a problem with this fella in particular.

  On 3/26/2013 at 8:20 PM, BCM said:

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 4:17 PM, kakapo said:

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:05 PM, BCM said:

I think kakapo needs to get his own place. Is this a practical possibility? Whereabouts in London are you atm?

 

Brixton. Living on my own would cost an extra £400-£600 pcm in rent and bills. I can afford it, but I'd rather save the money. Is avoiding the odd hassle worth 6 grand a year? Probably not.

 

yeah fair enough, stupid london prices...only reason i've got "my own place" is coz i live with my bird, although i've got a mate who's got a realy nice 1 bed in hanwell for about £780 which is not too bad...means living in hanwell though...

jesus london is expensive. 780 a month is an absolutely shocking price for just rent and bills. how do people even survive on minumum wage down there.

Housing benefit, mostly. I know people who do what you'd think are professional, middle-class jobs who still have to claim it. It's a huge scam to transfer taxpayer's money to greedy landlords, the kind of welfare the Conservative Party love.

I'm so so lucky to have a good rent situation. I share a house with a couple of mates who've been in the same place for 5 years, gets on well with the landlord, so the rent's been frozen for all that time. I pay £350 a month for a big double bedroom in a decent area, and an unofficial lodger/housemate pays the bills in lieu of his own rent.

It's almost unheard of in this stupid city. Before I was paying almost £600/m to live in a shithole plus loads on the leccy meter.

  On 3/26/2013 at 10:36 AM, uptown devil said:

i was constantly fantasizing about kicking his door down and smashing everything in the room with a baseball bat while they sat and watched.

Best thing you can do : stop having flatmates. Get something on your own, even if it's harder on the monetary aspect. It'll be better for you on the long run.

i dont like living on my own, its nice to have a living room to potter into and some people to hang out with, without having to make plans and make an effort to go out and hang out somewhere.

too ronery

yeah, when i live on my own i just tend to spend all of my free time somewhere else. when i'm at home i'm in my bed.

make him cook you some shit/contribute in some way if he's going to be there more than 1-2 days a week.

tell the flatmate privately you've been robbed before too, so they know where you're coming from and don't think you're just being a dick.

  On 3/27/2013 at 3:22 PM, theSun said:

tell the flatmate privately you've been robbed before too, so they know where you're coming from and don't think you're just being a dick.

I'm dealing with a woman here, never ever show them 'weakness', appealing to their empathy does not work. You need to keep it black and white, this is acceptable, this isn't acceptable. Do not offer any explanation.

  On 3/25/2013 at 11:52 PM, Iain C said:

I'm a pretty tolerant housemate as long as you're tidy and don't have sex too loudly.

Flatmate WHOA's

  On 3/26/2013 at 10:58 PM, messiaen said:

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 8:20 PM, BCM said:

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 4:17 PM, kakapo said:

 

  On 3/26/2013 at 3:05 PM, BCM said:

I think kakapo needs to get his own place. Is this a practical possibility? Whereabouts in London are you atm?

 

Brixton. Living on my own would cost an extra £400-£600 pcm in rent and bills. I can afford it, but I'd rather save the money. Is avoiding the odd hassle worth 6 grand a year? Probably not.

 

yeah fair enough, stupid london prices...only reason i've got "my own place" is coz i live with my bird, although i've got a mate who's got a realy nice 1 bed in hanwell for about £780 which is not too bad...means living in hanwell though...

jesus london is expensive. 780 a month is an absolutely shocking price for just rent and bills.

yeah that ain't including bills... and £780's cheap (for a 1 bed flat anyway)! i pay £950 + bills (split about 60/40 with my missus - yes i pay the bigger share).

i pay 180 for an enormous room in a shared flat. 700 for 5 people. we dont pay the bills.

  On 3/27/2013 at 7:06 PM, kakapo said:

 

  On 3/27/2013 at 3:22 PM, theSun said:

tell the flatmate privately you've been robbed before too, so they know where you're coming from and don't think you're just being a dick.

 

I'm dealing with a woman here, never ever show them 'weakness', appealing to their empathy does not work. You need to keep it black and white, this is acceptable, this isn't acceptable. Do not offer any explanation.

Just pee on everything in the living room. If that doesn't dissuade him from using it, then move out in an afternoon when they're not around.

Never to be heard from again.

Cut his entire body off.

damn you people are paying high rents

try cardiff, much cheaper& better place for nights out

heh, yeah. What's the attraction of londinium, Cardiff is where it's at.

when you're living with someone you definitely want to analyse his/her character beforehand, like if that person feels entitled to whatever for free, whether that person turns up to work on time, whether it's a morning or night person, whether that person has a history of being able to hold a job, blah blah

i guess it takes about 3 times going out to the pub to get a pretty accurate idea of what someone is like?

first impressions can be quite deceiving

better off being a mean assmaster in the first place, if it means saving 1 year of stress living with a tramp

i was in this situation before where me and one guy and girl wanted to live together but i was a manipulating bastard and pushed the guy out. the girl wasnt my type or anything, it wasnt that kind of situation but i just knew the guy was completely unreliable and would be a pain in my gut

if you act like a mean bastard in the right way and with the right timing then everybody will be happier in the end