So my ex-girlfriend just put a spreadsheet on facebook, detailing all the pros and cons of her past boyfriends

I think she isn't Asian at all, but just has a bizarre fetish about a guy learning Chinese for her. You guys are reading into this way too much. She seems perfectly normal to me.

Wait, you're not saying that people who don't maintain a spreadsheet about past relationships are not normal, right?

  On 6/20/2013 at 9:23 AM, AdieuErsatzEnnui said:

She sounds like a cunt. Good riddance. Also, why do you care what this bitch thinks of you? or anyone else for that matter? Also, anyone who has one of their criteria as "no family history of genetically inheritable diseases" is a jackass, and in my opinion completely out of touch. What cold cunt that person has to be.

  On 6/21/2013 at 9:10 AM, goDel said:

Wait, you're not saying that people who don't maintain a spreadsheet about past relationships are not normal, right?

That is exactly what I'm saying. It's very important to keep a table of raw stats around to ensure you don't repeat your own mistakes - it's just efficient. In my opinion Root5 is blowing this entirely out of proportion.

Dear diary,

Today I have found out Excel spreadsheets are a better way to manage all aspects of my life. Preferably in lists which could be filtered and/or generate pivot tables. Since the amounts of rows and columns have been upscaled from their previous deplorable numbers (office 2003 and worse), a single sheet could be able to contain every aspect of my entire life.

Thank you Microsoft!

lol wicked spreadsheet. she sounds like a fucking nutter m8 and really annoying

"U SHOULA FUCKIN KILLED THAT CUNT AND THROWN HER FUCKIN BODY OFF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE"

I've come up with a simple solution - just post this to her page:

LOL!

Ha! took me way too long to notice.

Holy fucking fuckedy fuck! She's joking right? She MUST be joking. No one could possibly write somehing like this and be serious.

TBH this first one is a wide category. "NO history of cheating, abusive relationships, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, gambling addictions."

People won't assume you were abussive even if they do think it was you, do you smoke or drink? Don't sweat it.

BTW I can't even figure out how to read this fucking thing. Oh no wait, red is they DO and white is they DON'T.

Lets say it was a joke. What would her response be to Roots mail? No reply and blocking him from reading the comments?

....

nah

  On 6/21/2013 at 11:30 AM, westhead said:

I've come up with a simple solution - just post this to her page:

 

lol, love it!

so many crazy things in that list. she mad yo.

  On 6/21/2013 at 7:31 AM, goDel said:

Another paint: eating a tub of ice cream with a vibrator

http://sf.funcheap.com/good-vibrations-popup-dildo-shop-ice-cream-social-sf/

so are there pics on this asian girl and the ice cream/vibrator thing?

  On 6/21/2013 at 11:37 AM, Gocab said:

Ha! took me way too long to notice.

  On 6/21/2013 at 12:18 PM, MisterE said:

so are there pics on this asian girl and the ice cream/vibrator thing?

this is still sfw-ish right?

LOL.

I am one eighth asian crazy and couldn't possibly be with someone who doesn't sing like a naked angel.

*looks over at naked boyfriend*

"SING YOU CANARY!"

I made a WATMM-version, feel free to use it.

Also I lol'd at the fact she never figured out whether her first boyfriend was circumcised or not.

  On 6/21/2013 at 10:11 AM, Obel said:

 

  On 6/21/2013 at 9:10 AM, goDel said:

Wait, you're not saying that people who don't maintain a spreadsheet about past relationships are not normal, right?

 

That is exactly what I'm saying. It's very important to keep a table of raw stats around to ensure you don't repeat your own mistakes - it's just efficient. In my opinion Root5 is blowing this entirely out of proportion.

 

In fact, my friend had a txt-file on his desktop that was a rating-list of his sexual partners. It contained categories such as Performance, Penis Size and Overall Hotness - he'd rate them 0 to 3 Stars. The txt contained 19 different men who he'd meet regularly, he said the list helped him decide... yeah, he was a real slut back in them days!

  On 6/21/2013 at 7:05 AM, Root5 said:

In other news, she didn't reply to my private message, but has made it so that I cannot see her posts anymore on facebook.

holy shit she is like THE cunt, how long were you with her?

  On 6/21/2013 at 7:28 AM, Candiru said:

Good riddance to that one. She probably watches Sex and the City while eating an entire tub of ice cream, vibrator in hand.

lolol.

i'd score about 25-28 points on her spreadsheet (depending on her interests, friends and family). what's your "level of attractiveness for Root's crazy ex-girlfriend" watmm ?

It comes down to a 19 like Root5 but with mostly different answers. I just assumed I wouldn't get along with her friends and family and have zero interest in her miserable life.

Allows sex with anus: N/A

As in, has no anus?!

What!?

nvm

I score quite highly, except on: broad shoulders, sings like a sexy angel, and wants to learn chinese. I do have a lovely deep, masculine voice though.

  On 6/21/2013 at 1:36 PM, goDel said:

Allows sex with anus: N/A

 

As in, has no anus?!

 

What!?

Sean was unconscious at the time so it's hard to tell whether he actually "allowed" the intercourse that took place.