Fartin' in the workplace

I work in jersey city and have never seen anything like this before.

http://60abc.com/man-reported-to-police-for-revenge-fart-after-woman-refused-to-have-sex/

  Quote

 

A Man Was Reported to Police for Farting

 

A man in Laholm, Hallan County in Sweden was reported to police because he farted after the woman he was with denied to have sex with him.

She reported the incident to the local police saying that his “revenge fart” disturbed her peace of mind.

any updates on this? please don't leave us hanging here

pls dont let this be an april fools thread, i want it to be real

Ahm, I´m even afraid to fart at the toilet because everyone could hear it. Youre workplace sounds like a dream to me

  On 4/6/2016 at 6:08 AM, GetSquirrely said:

any updates on this? please don't leave us hanging here

1 word = discretely

in a lift is a cunty funny move

  On 4/1/2016 at 9:20 PM, beerwolf said:

I find it's the little silent almost inconspicuous 'pops' that strip the hair from your nostrils. Big, deep, bowlshakers are just hot air. At least for me.

"silent but deadly," I believe they call it.

This thread - oh, the tears. I almost spit out my coffee reading some of the euphemisms and descriptions herein.

You watch Deer - one day, you'll decide "Hey, everyone else farts, why not?" and you'll let one rip, and the ENTIRE OFFICE will stop and stare at you like you just body slammed a toddler. That's how life works.

I have an employee who is an older gentleman, and despite being in a cubicle outside my office, he has no problems leaning to the left in his chair and letting one squeak out. He sits right on the corner of a high traffic area, so I am sure people are getting a whiff as they pass by.

He's a demon in the bathroom too - I walked into the bathroom and there he was, middle stall (don't get me started on stall selection) and was making sounds similar to when a horse or cow gives birth. The smell was overwhelming, and I decided my bathroom break could wait.

This thread made me appreciate the small positives of not smelling anything. Farts are always funny tho

*goes to russian bathhouse*

*sees men and women farting freely*

*shakes head while laughing to myself and thinking "fucking a, deer was right*

print this out and stick it to the walls: http://www.realclearscience.com/blog/2014/10/6_facts_you_need_to_know_about_farts.html

At work today I heard a huge, low, leviathan-like fart and turned my head in the direction it came from, and noticed two ladies (one 25-ish, one 35-ish) standing there casually conversing.

I'm thinking it HAS to be one of the two, but I will never know which one. This unsolved mystery will forever haunt me.