Fucking Neighbors

  On 6/11/2016 at 8:58 PM, Frank Poole said:

I had hopes of fucking my neigbor last weekend. I just moved in and she had me over for drinks. We were pretty buzzed and she was dancing all around me, when she got right up in my face and whispered gently "don't even think of putting your mouth anywhere near mine".

 

It's not easy to fuck your neighbors.

And then you said "I can think about putting my mouth anywhere I want" right before grabbing another drink. ;D

  On 1/23/2017 at 8:41 PM, Bulk VanderHooj said:

huh... I guess that's a fair reason to do so. I've just never heard of anyone actually doing that. 

 

Most people just crack some windows and use the stove/oven fan.

That's what I am wondering... first of all, if you are baking or frying something, you should have your kitchen exhaust fan on at the very least.

I am the bad neighbour

I canceled my job only to be able to sleep when my neighbours are at work so I can be loud and listen to bass music when they sleep. Also: when I leave the house or when I'm away for a weekend I loop this video and turn the volume up:

Sometimes I shit in their letterbox

lol

the bloke who lived next door up until a few months ago had an escalating dementia, v v sad to see and live around

first his wife died, then his mind went, then he'd mow his lawn with 1 of those fkn mini-tractor things you sit in at 4am/5am

i've been wrestling with chronic insomnia from ptsd for too long, so imagine my joy at hearing him power that mechanical beast up every fkn week in the wee small hours

icing/cake = my dog escaped into his garden, its a jack russell and will dig for Britain given a few seconds spare anywhere

by the time i worked out it had got out/escaped it had dug a hole of pretty epic proportions for a wee k9

so i go round to extract said k9, get my apology worked out verbally, knock on the front door awkwardly and his son answered

"is your Dad in, mate?"

- "no, he died last night"

"oh right......................................."

to be fair he put the kettle on and we had a natter over a cup of tea while the soil-pawed creature tried to leg rape him

jack russell/10

kinda like that painting actually

  On 1/23/2017 at 9:17 PM, cwmbrancity said:

the bloke who lived next door up until a few months ago had an escalating dementia, v v sad to see and live around

 

first his wife died, then his mind went, then he'd mow his lawn with 1 of those fkn mini-tractor things you sit in at 4am/5am

 

i've been wrestling with chronic insomnia from ptsd for too long, so imagine my joy at hearing him power that mechanical beast up every fkn week in the wee small hours

 

icing/cake = my dog escaped into his garden, its a jack russell and will dig for Britain given a few seconds spare anywhere

 

by the time i worked out it had got out/escaped it had dug a hole of pretty epic proportions for a wee k9

 

so i go round to extract said k9, get my apology worked out verbally, knock on the front door awkwardly and his son answered

 

"is your Dad in, mate?"

 

- "no, he died last night"

 

"oh right......................................."

 

to be fair he put the kettle on and we had a natter over a cup of tea while the soil-pawed creature tried to leg rape him

 

jack russell/10

 That's an awful story in every aspect but I liked it

  On 1/23/2017 at 9:12 PM, darreichungsform said:

I am the bad neighbour

I canceled my job only to be able to sleep when my neighbours are at work so I can be loud and listen to bass music when they sleep. Also: when I leave the house or when I'm away for a weekend I loop this video and turn the volume up:

 

 

Sometimes I shit in their letterbox

that video gave me a panic attack

sorry

  On 1/23/2017 at 11:14 PM, darreichungsform said:

sorry

Sent from my HUAWEI VNS-L31 using Tapatalk

  On 1/23/2017 at 11:59 PM, ncrtx said:

 

  On 1/23/2017 at 11:14 PM, darreichungsform said:

sorry

It is a-okay buddy, fully recovered by now!

 

Sent from my HUAWEI VNS-L31 using Tapatalk

 

  On 1/23/2017 at 9:17 PM, cwmbrancity said:

the bloke who lived next door up until a few months ago had an escalating dementia, v v sad to see and live around

 

first his wife died, then his mind went, then he'd mow his lawn with 1 of those fkn mini-tractor things you sit in at 4am/5am

 

i've been wrestling with chronic insomnia from ptsd for too long, so imagine my joy at hearing him power that mechanical beast up every fkn week in the wee small hours

 

icing/cake = my dog escaped into his garden, its a jack russell and will dig for Britain given a few seconds spare anywhere

 

by the time i worked out it had got out/escaped it had dug a hole of pretty epic proportions for a wee k9

 

so i go round to extract said k9, get my apology worked out verbally, knock on the front door awkwardly and his son answered

 

"is your Dad in, mate?"

 

- "no, he died last night"

 

"oh right......................................."

 

to be fair he put the kettle on and we had a natter over a cup of tea while the soil-pawed creature tried to leg rape him

 

jack russell/10

so your JRT killed him?

  On 1/23/2017 at 7:58 PM, Amen Warrior said:

 

  On 1/23/2017 at 12:43 PM, peace 7 said:

One way to deal with loud and annoying neighbors is to use IDM technology:

Put a contact mic on the offending wall-- well, the possibilities for this are many. For example, put the mic output to sample delay, then have output of that mic to speakers that face the wall. So then when the annoying kid is having a tantrum and parents are yelling or whatever, after 1 second they hear themselves. This opens up self-consciousness, and makes the offenders realize they are being retarded. I have neighbors who had a kid who cried and yelled all the time- with parent also yelling- and if things didn't get better, I was pretty close to setting up a realtime sampling rig, and blasting their voices back at them in breakbeat form.

 

Most people don't expect that someone has setup an intricate rig to feedback sound. So they might assume Zeus is right about to lightning their asses back to stardust, and they'll shut the fuck up.

 

When it comes to people playing loud music, have your rig with no sample delay, but detune the feedback. This will make the offender think that their stereo rig is fucked up. If they are asshole enough, hopefully they will become enraged and destroy their own equipment.

But then your other nice quiet neighbours have 2 noisy cunts to deal with instead of one :(

 

Without the input, there is no output.  But yes- the most silent way is to ninja them to eternity, but that's not nice, either.

  On 1/24/2017 at 12:16 AM, usagi said:

 

  On 1/23/2017 at 9:17 PM, cwmbrancity said:

the bloke who lived next door up until a few months ago had an escalating dementia, v v sad to see and live around

 

first his wife died, then his mind went, then he'd mow his lawn with 1 of those fkn mini-tractor things you sit in at 4am/5am

 

i've been wrestling with chronic insomnia from ptsd for too long, so imagine my joy at hearing him power that mechanical beast up every fkn week in the wee small hours

 

icing/cake = my dog escaped into his garden, its a jack russell and will dig for Britain given a few seconds spare anywhere

 

by the time i worked out it had got out/escaped it had dug a hole of pretty epic proportions for a wee k9

 

so i go round to extract said k9, get my apology worked out verbally, knock on the front door awkwardly and his son answered

 

"is your Dad in, mate?"

 

- "no, he died last night"

 

"oh right......................................."

 

to be fair he put the kettle on and we had a natter over a cup of tea while the soil-pawed creature tried to leg rape him

 

jack russell/10

 

so your JRT killed him?

 

bowling Warney, bowling

have said to relatives that if they die and he's around, the coroner wont have much to examine

one plan was to get a custom collar made with "Little Cunt" on, but that idea went down like herpes with an ex

summat that makes the stomach turn is where people locally are out with their mutt and let it lick all over their face out in the park 5mins after it was giving its ring-piece a good oral clearing out

also neighbours who'd be gracious enough to mind their own business any normal day, if you take the creature of leg rape out oh ffs its all smiles n sycophancy

next door over is milford haven mind, so creature leg-rape could be an ideal intro ;(

Not to sound rash, but the only way out of this whole 'neighbor' situation is 1st-degree murder.

I followed your advice, but apartment 306 has already sold again.

  On 1/25/2017 at 12:42 AM, LimpyLoo said:

Not to sound rash, but the only way out of this whole 'neighbor' situation is 1st-degree murder.

i think about it at times. bark-dog murder tho. i feel lik th guy in th son of sam flik

  On 1/25/2017 at 12:42 AM, LimpyLoo said:

Not to sound rash, but the only way out of this whole 'neighbor' situation is 1st-degree murder.

Ridiculous neighbors have actually helped me become more peaceful in the last few years; a type of tolerance and understanding that's required to not beat one's children if they were to shit on your signed copy of Richard D James album or whatever.  Tolerance and patience and spreading of good will always wins in the end.  Murder is rarely required in life- really rarely- but you pull that shit on annoying neighbors, and next thing you know you're on the run with only one pair of underwear for life, writing acid house tracks in crack houses, paranoid 24/7, and sucking mad dick for dollars in back alleys to buy hamburgers.  It's when you start sucking dick for McDonald's that you realize that perhaps you fucked up.  Never go there.  Being annoyed is not worth ruining your life over.  -But if the neighbor comes over and starts to squeeze your partner's chichis, you fucking take his hand and mulch it in a blender.  Otherwise, assholes are their own punishment.

  On 1/25/2017 at 12:42 AM, LimpyLoo said:

Not to sound rash, but the only way out of this whole 'neighbor' situation is 1st-degree murder.

I feel an urge to do so right now tbqh

  On 1/26/2017 at 6:27 PM, phling said:

 

  On 1/25/2017 at 12:42 AM, LimpyLoo said:

Not to sound rash, but the only way out of this whole 'neighbor' situation is 1st-degree murder.

I feel an urge to do so right now tbqh

It's a perfect solution IMO* YMMV**

*in murder opinion

**your murder may vary

noise helped...

Noise is so good.. very happy it exists, also very loud loudspeakers are a cool thing innit.

it's just not very pleasant to use it against the neighbors.. an aggressive act, heart racing, bad feels etc...

but now, peace. For the moment at least.

Calm is the beast, so now you shall feast.

  On 1/26/2017 at 7:14 PM, phling said:

it's just not very pleasant to use it against the neighbors.. an aggressive act, heart racing, bad feels etc...

lol