How much time do you spend not computing/not on the internet (the second time)

all time not computing is spent building up my t levels

i was down to sub-20m/day internet, maybe like 5 or 6 hours computering total (mostly just 4trax). this week has been somewhat of a fugue state of sitting in cafes browsing random bullcrap for hours but i am slowly getting back on the horse

whatsup cryptowen i haven't seen you round these parts in a long time

  On 12/22/2017 at 10:14 PM, Salvatorin said:

whatsup cryptowen i haven't seen you round these parts in a long time

still in montreal, trying to get to the maritimes for holidays

just put an album out (it's in the ekt subfarm)

working as a dishwasher

sleeping on ppl's couches because my roommates won't let me back into the house after the incident (they have my gear :( )

spending most of this cold season at the gym & the yoga studio

how have you been?

[YouTube]

Tbh i don't give a fuck anymore

Had 1 dream (obsession) left and lived it already and now I'm free to spend all my time just computing and tryna forget my existence

from obseson to depreson

wud be much happier if the dream hadn't turned into a reality honest

But after lots of praying Lord let me have my dream

and the dream was ruined

so 50 mg diazepam it is

  On 7/3/2018 at 1:53 AM, cheeseburgerwalrus said:

Tbh i don't give a fuck anymore

 

Had 1 dream (obsession) left and lived it already and now I'm free to spend all my time just computing and tryna forget my existence

from obseson to depreson

 

wud be much happier if the dream hadn't turned into a reality honest

But after lots of praying Lord let me have my dream

 

and the dream was ruined

so 50 mg diazepam it is

gotta get off that shit if you wanna feel better dude

Whew. Nearly forgot to take my benzos and compute. Thanks, Thread.

  On 7/3/2018 at 3:29 AM, yek said:

 

  On 7/3/2018 at 1:53 AM, cheeseburgerwalrus said:

Tbh i don't give a fuck anymore

 

Had 1 dream (obsession) left and lived it already and now I'm free to spend all my time just computing and tryna forget my existence

from obseson to depreson

 

wud be much happier if the dream hadn't turned into a reality honest

But after lots of praying Lord let me have my dream

 

and the dream was ruined

so 50 mg diazepam it is

 

gotta get off that shit if you wanna feel better dude

 

It's part of the Plan my man..it's like if you have some problems you could have a drink...or two.. and become an alcoholic. Alcohol will fix your problems for a while and even if it doesn't u kno like after becoming a full blown alcoholic you can become clean.. quit the alcohol and you are fixed for life.. the "problems" you had in the beginning have dissolved.. and u are free....

but u kno honest seriously i didn't feel better before i computed

^good point

bump

good bump. this week and today especially, way too much. not healthy. time to take a vacation from the internet. seriously.

also, cheesedudeburger, i respectfully disagree with your plans. go find a better dream you lazy shit. who are you, boris becker? get off your ass and do something useful. go cure cancer. way more interesting than winning wimbledon in yuor teeny years. ;D

hola GODel what cud i dream of?? had it all already, now jus waiting around to die

lol

start with dreaming to get your life back on track again. remember that awesome time when yuo still could dream? this is the "we are the dreamers of the dreams" place, yo!

you simply cannot help but be a dreamer of dreams! its in yer genes 

edit: also, you look awful! ;D

20

when i don't compute but still benzos i somtimes re-think my life and everything seems so simple and lush and i give some "pro tips" to myself about how to proceed on life gnomesane (write them on a notepad (tip pad) or a piece of paper). then next day i read dem tips a loud and wonder wowh what a vice guy gave all these advice to me. it's like an inner father for myself 

Wow i had forgoten how bjnice life can be he he 

just layen on a real plush lush blanket with a klaptop on my othee r hand and some nutella cake obn my other hand and n my moyth

2 pillows

and listeneng to autechre live (on lab top speakems ofc he he )

life is nice

somtimes u forget what "pleasant" evenmeans

iths this :)

wow not a care in the world

thaz rally bjnice u kno

  On 12/7/2018 at 1:05 AM, eczem said:

thaz rally bjnice u kno

how u liken to be a live ??? ;D

i liken it ro a chickadee in the winter morning's light

I'm spending way less time on the internet now because it really put's my misanthropy into context.

  On 12/7/2018 at 11:50 AM, Entorwellian said:

I'm spending way less time on the internet now because it really put's my misanthropy into context.

whaddya do in stead ?

Sleep, work on audio visual stuff in Max, shit a lot, work full time and self-study. No particular order.

i don realy like computas that much u kno...it jus all i kno...i justed to have a butiful gurl....i never computed (but i studied computa science with her...).. we spent 24 hoursa day wit each other... and i only used tis computer "in my head".. like i dint have a real computer but i imagined i was computeng. and it was like a drag. we wud be layng in sex positons on the bed....and i wud drift off into the inside-world of me.. and start computing like a madman u kno...u kno im a hoardah man too so i wud be u kno scrollang thru my music folders in my fuken heed and u kno just sortang stuff etc... in my head..

and i say to her many a time.. i gots to visit home.. i went home..went to the fukken computa..she didnt kno..

it was like i was drinken secretly...and den we broke up becos i wud be computang and she fond out....

i been sufferang from panick attax and general sadness and u kno it from since (my) childhood,,, and i been tryna not "tink" because thinkenig makes me feel real bad... ye i was like u kno 7teen or 8teen or sumtang when i fond out i don really like use my heed at all...i didnt tink At All...becos it was use to be maken me feel bad so u kno i wud be jus computang all day and u kno driftang..... when i was tat age i realised i dont have athought of my own and i  dont kno how to think or u kno....

but now i'v benzos and i can compute and use my heed at the same time. and it good but i kno i wud be content if i cud jus compute for all my life n u kno just stop thinken

kids

dont compute