Eminem - Kamikaze

  On 9/4/2018 at 2:52 AM, usagi said:

mega-ignorant IDM neckbeard thread a gwarn, well done.

 

  On 9/3/2018 at 12:06 AM, span said:

and that's ignoring all the big names with which your mileage may vary like Future, Young Thug, Drake, Kanye, Lil B, Travis Scott, Skepta, Wiley, and the bigger names who made quality comebacks like Jay Z, A Tribe Called Quest...

 

don't bring grime into this shitshow (agree with most of the earlier names you dropped though).

yeah sorry I was running out of people to namedrop

  On 9/4/2018 at 11:26 PM, perunamuussi said:

I only listen to Stitches. Real hip hop!

i hope he's ok

  On 9/4/2018 at 11:42 PM, Rotwang said:

T3551ER's review is a thing of beauty.

Raed is the best

don't forget to put your lights on.

extremely important.

  On 9/1/2018 at 10:58 PM, Hail Sagan said:

Ooze why are you having circa 2004 baby blue wave cap and oversized phat farm sweater sheltered wigger revelations?

I just came in to say, this is a straight-up Kool Keith diss line. 

  On 9/3/2018 at 4:08 AM, Avarik said:

Relapse was his only good work

 

but why is this thread

Relapse is a masterpiece. The way he uses accents to bend words and accentuate syllables is genius.

  On 9/4/2018 at 6:10 PM, T3551ER said:

 

  On 9/4/2018 at 2:14 AM, DavieAddison said:

Anyone like Aesop Rock?

 

Yeah, quite much actually. Feel like he struggled a bit, but found Mystery Fish a return to form. . . or, perhaps, AR coming to terms with where he is in his life, and making music that's apropos to where he is in life. Someone mentioned this album is a rehash of what Eminem has been doing for years and becoming bored, wishing someone would tell more stories etc. - Mystery Fish will probably scratch that itch. Also, the production is excellent - apparently all done by Aesop himself - clearly he has been honing that craft as well.

 

Kamikaze -T3- Review:

 

Easily the best Eminem album in ages. He makes mention early on about feeling much more comfortable NOT being successful and coming at things from an underdog perspective, so the utter slagging of his last effort has clearly lit a fire under his ass. Particularly on the first couple of tracks, he sounds vibrant, focused, and fierce in a way that has been missing for a long time (or, even if present, it has felt forced and impure). Anger/rage is the fuel that has always made Em burn the brightest, and it's a weird pleasure to have him sound genuinely pissed off, parlaying that fury into an extremely tight flow and the clever wordplay that made him notable in the first place. Knowing more about specific beefs make the songs more enjoyable, but aren't strictly required. 

 

The main problem here is: First track, stupid awesome flows, strong from beginning to end. Ninjas flip out and start killing people. There is no chorus. Second track, stupid awesome flows, double timed. Like the first track makes you wonder how it would be possible to best it, and the second track proves how by bursting the sound barrier, making you pop, like, 7 boners. Ninjas start wailing even harder. Then the chorus. Which is. . .like, ok? maybe? Ninjas pause in their thrashing, looking confused. Third track - Joyner Lucas actually comes pretty correct here, Em follows suit. Chorus is . . not so much a chorus which is why it's better then the second track. Ninjas begin a slow retreat back into the shadows. Boners begin to shrink. Paul - skit. FLOL. Fourth track. Starts with the chorus. Which is terrible. Lackadaisical. The actual versing paint an interesting picture about doomed relationships ships but. .. ok. .. Dat chorus. If it's even possible, all 7 of your boners have turned inside out, giving you painful, inguinal rupturing reverse-boners instead, and all the ninjas have turned into pirates, who are weeping like little man-babies. 

 

From here on out things things descend predictably and precipitously. There is a theme that emerges, which is that as the album progresses, the choruses become more and more cringe-worthy, and the songcraft, beats and music become and more stale and uninspired. Like some 13-yo kid downloaded a cracked copy of Magix Music Maker via Limewire bundled with "Classic Rap Beats Vol II," hit "randomize," started huffing paint around track 4, and finished off by slipping on the remains of his Everclear soaked vomit around track 9, slamming his face into the keyboard and somehow managing to graft on vocals by someone named Jessie Reyez. I don't know who this Jessie Reyez person is, but she sounds like a Lori Petty imitator auditioning for walk-on role in the the commercial for Tank Girl, processed through a stupid-filter. This album ends with not one, but TWO tracks featuring this insipid, grating, idiotic, middle-school basement trust-fund punk kid copying Gwen Stefani, but with a quarter of the talent and an eighth of of the sincerity and if you consider how much talent or sincerity Gwen Stefani has to begin with, that should tell you something. 

 

Then it ends with the song that was written for the movie Venom, where Eminem rhymes (???) the "-mmmmm" sound in "venommmmmm" with other words have an "em" in them. And, not like, complicated words like "pegfilgrastim." I mean, like, when I just wrote " 'em' in them" I actually elevated the entire concept of this song to a Hawing level thesis, comparatively. I can't begin to explain how terrible this song is. It simultaneously negates any existing value in an album whose diminishing returns already place the listener in music debt, while also ensuring I believe that the movie is going to be the worst possible piece of generic, by the numbers, Hollywood trash ever created. 

 

In sum: Listening to this album is like watching a dying star collapse from close range, the brilliance and ethereal glow of the explosion preceding the collapse blinding you with its beauty, moments before you realize that your legs are just below the event horizon of a black hole. As you look down to see your dick being torn apart at the atomic level, your mouth opens to scream, but you realize that you cannot, and so you remain, mouth agape, tears frozen in a crystalline eternal mourning, ears chiming a never-ending hum(mmmmm). You have become it: a living, forever regret. 

 

Enter at your own risk. 

 

I hope he writes a track inspired by your review for his next album. Should be pure fire.

<3

"If you still follow Eminem, you drink way too much Mountain Dew and probably need to like, come home from the army." -Earl Sweatshirt

lol

Lol savage

i cried for whatever reason

  On 9/4/2018 at 2:57 AM, ManjuShri said:

i lol'd at this guy "rapping" like eminem

https://www.facebook.com/jamal.camille/videos/10215601892392161/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibnR3_aVRyc

I never been a fan og Eminem but this guy... That's something

^ well yeah, not even in the same league tbh. Rakim is a guaranteed presence in any shortlist of MCs considered the greatest of all time.

  Quote

Garth Brooks coming to Facebook.

 

that shit is too funny