Autechre Amazon Customer Review

I went to buy an album and took a look at the customer responses...this was one of them:

"Autechre has become something more to me than just an alternative to listening to music. Listening to Autechre, especially alone, has become an addictive way of life for me. It has changed me over the years.

When I'm working the mail at my post office in the evenings, I like to work it while I'm listening to Autechre. The sounds of Autechre (in all its varying effects) truly compells me to just keep throwing that mail. It motivates me to work very fast as well as keeping my memory sharp (correctly throwing the right letters to the right carriers cubby-holes), and I can go on for hours without even acknowledging the time.

Since Autechre has become a part of my life, I have become healthier, more physically toned, keener with my wits, and even more long-term physically sexual. Yes, I have increased and enhanced my sexual longevity performance as a result of improved health by my addiction to listening to Autechre over the years.

What I have done to make this electronic music sound drug more potent is that I have put all my Autechre CD's on a CDR burned by a program called Sonic Stage. It comes with Sony CD players that play the ATRAC3plus CDR's that you make through the computer. You can put more than 30 hours of music on a single CDR. So, having about 15 hours of Autechre playing in a continuous shuffle for hours on end while I'm at work has caused me to work a projected 3 and a half hours worth of work in just under 2 hours. I actually quite disappointed when I run out of work to do because I am still on an Autechre high. Sometimes, I've even clocked out but went right back to work because I can't seem to get myself to break away from the euphoria.

So, in a nutshell, the music of Autechre turned me into a healthier, better physical shape, faster mental processor, higher self-esteemed, workaholic. And yet, this music drives my boss crazy. My fellow workers don't seem to mind it, because they all benefit from my work performance as a result of this audio drug.

If anyone else has experienced this same kind of Autechre euphoria, please write me at kzq7@yahoo.com I'd like to hear other stories of how Autechre has affected their lives."

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000089HD...6355169-1847009

I'm suddenly overcome with visions of a Huxley-esqe industrial future where Autechre is blasted over a sea of factories.

lol, I read this same review a while back

Creeped me out as well

thats quite magnificent.

Sorry, I am fanatical about AE too.....but they don't make you buff.

I suspect that entire review was just a cleverly-packaged advertisement for Sonic Stage and/or ATRAC3plus-compatible CD players. A lot of aberrant posts (especially on myspace) and e-mails like this turn out to be nothing more than spam.

However, I will admit to regularly developing erections while listening to Ae, so the sexual vitality comment is dead-on.

well spotted i forget everything is just one big advert these days.

That is brilliant

i used to work in a warehouse so i could use headphones and what not. I used to listen to autechre while i work. IT really works well. I fly through albums and it really gives you a mechanical sense to keep working - very hypnotic.

Autechre as Adderall?

I'm gonna try it for myself.

that looks suspiciously like a fred mcgriff amazon review

http://www.barcodezine.com/revautechreuntitled100305.htm

anyone read that? go ahead. 3.2/10 the fuckers gave untilted.

what do you think? do you feel sad after reading it?

i can't believe anyone who's that much of an autechre nut would encode the stuff in ATRAC. at a rate that allows for 15 hours per disc.

  Franciscus said:

http://www.barcodezine.com/revautechreuntitled100305.htm

 

anyone read that? go ahead. 3.2/10 the fuckers gave untilted.

 

what do you think? do you feel sad after reading it?

now i don't feel so bad barcodezine gave my album a 5/10.

this guy sounds extremely ignorant especially this part...

  Quote

On Augmatic Disport, Autechre even try to out-do Squarepusher, with drill’n’bass beats that eclipse the 300 bpm mark, but this lacks Jenkinson’s personality. I doubt Autechre would imagine that they deserve to be compared to anyone, but one can’t quite help comparing inferior music to its superior contemporaries.

wtf?

  playbynumbers said:

that looks suspiciously like a fred mcgriff amazon review

That's what I thought when I read it... especially when it got to the fitness benefits of AE. WFT IDM FTW

  Ghostbusters III said:

  Franciscus said:

http://www.barcodezine.com/revautechreuntitled100305.htm

 

anyone read that? go ahead. 3.2/10 the fuckers gave untilted.

 

what do you think? do you feel sad after reading it?

 

now i don't feel so bad barcodezine gave my album a 5/10.

 

this guy sounds extremely ignorant especially this part...

 

  Quote

On Augmatic Disport, Autechre even try to out-do Squarepusher, with drill’n’bass beats that eclipse the 300 bpm mark, but this lacks Jenkinson’s personality. I doubt Autechre would imagine that they deserve to be compared to anyone, but one can’t quite help comparing inferior music to its superior contemporaries.

wtf?

He didn't like them in the first place really did he? You are correct though. there alot of things he says there that are totally false. AE have never sounded like aphex twin. It's not hard to tell the difference is it?

I didn't realize Prof Winston worked for the post office too....

Hello, Newman.

Are Autechre going to announce their next album soon? It should logically release this April and there's no nothing announced yet... :S

that's what i'm wondering.. i'm on an autechre marathon in anticipation

that's strange... and pretty acurate... i'm at my most creative when i'm doing graphic design and listening to autechre... hence the work i do at work is rather meh... and the work i do at home is amazing!

this works, i've stopped drinking coffee and started listening to autechre.

It keeps your mind focused in one direction.

  Bubba69 said:

It keeps your mind focused in one direction.

yesterday i achieved a highscore in tetris towering above the rest of the players in my dorm (we have a bit of a competition going) while listening through "Untitled". im convinced the music had something to do with it.

  Morgan Dunn said:

  Bubba69 said:

It keeps your mind focused in one direction.

 

yesterday i achieved a highscore in tetris towering above the rest of the players in my dorm (we have a bit of a competition going) while listening through "Untitled". im convinced the music had something to do with it.

I orgasmed twice faster with my girlfriend while listening to Confield :embrassed: