squarepusher SQUAREPUSHER JOKES!!

okay, so Aphex, BoC and Autechre were all partying and then who do you know but Squarepusher calls up and whines "Can I come to your party?" and they reply "No you stupid dick, go push some squares."

Aphex, BoC and Autechre were all partying and then who do you know but Squarepusher calls up and whines "Can I come to your party?" and they reply "No you stupid dick, go play sokoban!

Once, in the time before time, god decided to test man. He fashioned three different shapes out of clay. One was a circle, one was a triangle, and the last one was a square. He summoned Squarepusher, a mortal.

"The Circle will cause the universe to exist in complete harmony, the Triangle will make you take my place, and the square will make everything explode." god said. "Push one of them."

Well the big bang can be accredited to Squarepusher, cuz he's a stupid dick.

Aphex, BoC, and Squarepusher all were walking in a line. They passed a square. Aphex was like "Fuck this!" and drank some guinness. BoC was like "Hell no!" and dropped acid. Knowing Squarepusher for the stupid dick he is, he pushed the square.

Where does Squarepusher live? Cuba.

Why did Squarepusher cross the road?

There was a fucking square on the other side.

Why did Aphex Twin cross the road?

He was wearing a tee-shirt with a square on it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cuz his head looked like a square. And squarepusher was right behind it.

Why did the rectangle cross the road?

Squarepusher was on acid and thought the rectangle was a square.

Why did Andre 3000 cross the road?

To make love to squarepusher like in this video:

wah wah wah waaaaaahhhhhhh

that's some gentle comedy dude.

How many Squarepushers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, assuming that lightbulb is in the shape of a square and requires pushing to be screwed in.

youwhatmate?

wanker

you stupid, stupid cunts !

why did the rectangle cross the road?

Squarepusher was on acid and thought the rectangle was a square.

Q: HOW MANY BULBZ TEH SQRPSHER?!????1

A: electronic music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111

  Velazquez said:

How many AFXs does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

None. They're all hangable auto bulbs.

  analogue wings said:

Q: HOW MANY BULBZ TEH SQRPSHER?!????1

 

A: electronic music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111

Best post of the year

i'm suffering from sensory overload

a beard decided to grow out its man, and the result was tom jenkinson.

  Dr. Elemeno von Hat X: PhD said:

a beard decided to grow out its man, and the result was tom jenkinson.

This is no joke, this is a fact.

Drum and Bass Guitar is dumbass

YOU ARE IN A LARGE TOM JENKINSON TRACK WITH A GULLEY. YOU HERE WATER RUNNING NEARBY.

> go north

YOU ARE EATEN BY A GRUE PLAYING BASS GUITAR.

  Dr. Elemeno von Hat X: PhD said:

YOU ARE IN A LARGE TOM JENKINSON TRACK WITH A GULLEY. YOU HERE WATER RUNNING NEARBY.

> go south

SQUAREPUSHER RIPS YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF.

> go east

YOU ARE EATEN BY A GRUE PLAYING AMEN BREAKS VIA PLAYING BASS GUITAR.

> inventory

HAY YOU HAVE THIS THINGS IN YOUR POCKETS:

bass guitar

tone generator

drum machine

TB-303

viz comic

> wield guitar

HAY YOU DO NOT HAVE A GUITAR

> wield bass guitar

OK

> improvise impromptu two-hour 200bpm drill'n'bass extravaganza

OK

> go northwest

YOU DIE DO YOU WANT TO START AGAIN [Y / N]?

I'd like to code a Squarepusher text based adventure.

so i hear tom jenkinson has had to get a day job to make ends meet

he's working in a fruit factory

he would have gotten a job at the nut factory, but they can't have nuts working there - conflict of interest.