squarepusher SQUAREPUSHER JOKES!!

  Brian Tregaskin said:

:teeth: u're ever funny brian! ;-) thanks 2 b here with us!

  Brian Tregaskin said:

:teeth: u're ever funny brian! ;-) thanks 2 b here with us!

lol

LOL

a good squarepusher joke:

1. put a really loud speaker right next to someone who is sleeping. make sure it is too heavy to push over or away, and the playing device is also not within swatting range.

2. start "the barn (303 kebab remix)" from big loada.

3. by the time the sleeping party has come to their senses, the feedback section will have ended. proceed to rave all around the groggy, angry, and confused person.

errata: doing this when the party in question has a hangover tends to be twice the lol... but thrice the peril.

how many flashbulbs does it take to replicate a squarepusher.

  fenton said:

how many flashbulbs does it take to replicate a squarepusher.

Too many!

SQUAREPUSHER JOKES

...about pitch control:

This is the best electronic music-related thread I've ever read, honestly.

Read more threads.

Q: When riding his bike, how far does Tom have to go to visit his brother Andy?

A: 50 Cycles.

Q: What is Tom's nickname for Luke Vibert which refers to his fondness for weed yet apparent lack of long hair?

A: Chin Hippy.

Q: Due to recent flooding, Tom had build what in his backyard in order to reach his out-house without getting wet?

A: An Arched Pathway.

Q: ?

A: !

  NI64 said:

How many AFXs does it take to screw flashbulb?

 

None. They're all hangable auto bulbs.

knock knock

LUDD

who's there?

do you know squarepusher?

do you know squarepusher who?

"The midnight streets of Britain: Now so full of squares, not even the dealers know all the dimensions."

Following this alarming announcement, a man approaches an actual square dealer on a dodgy, south London street corner in the middle of the night. He then proceeds to attempt to purchase a slew of non-existent quadragons.

"You got any 6cm?" he enquires. "How about 3 inchers? Make sure it's good. I don't want my sense of geometry feeling like a kid's first protractor. D'you know what I mean?" He swears he's cool, insisting, "Don't worry. I'm not a bloody pi-monger." Finally, the square dealer, knowing that the man has all the different styles of drum and bass, begs him to leave. "The only thing I sell out here is shitty free plugin-style DSP. My friend, please leave me alone." The entire transaction was real. Tom Jenkemson has built a career around devastating attacks on complacency by presenting sounds so disturbing that the listener never really knows whether or not to laugh until they've asked themselves some serious questions about their attitudes.

  triachus said:

do you know squarepusher who?

he makes all different styles of drum and bass

tom jenkemson lol

  "squarepushblog" said:

the other day i noticed that my local warp liason was anti-semitic. fuck! her egg salad is amazing, but essex rules apply.

should i:

square (up to) her? (roll two dice. if the total is over 6, turn to 178. if not, turn to 122).

damn near push 'er! (time how long it takes for a caesium isotope to decay to half the original size. if it is less than a year, turn to 114. if not, turn to 223.

if you now have cancer, please read the disclaimer at the back of the book).

  kaini said:

  "squarepushblog" said:

the other day i noticed that my local warp liason was anti-semitic. fuck! her egg salad is amazing, but essex rules apply.

 

should i:

square (up to) her? (roll two dice. if the total is over 6, turn to 178. if not, turn to 122).

damn near push 'er! (time how long it takes for a caesium isotope to decay to half the original size. if it is less than a year, turn to 114. if not, turn to 223.

 

if you now have cancer, please read the disclaimer at the back of the book).

Sprayed my tea there

i woke up today with a vague sense of having made an awesome post in this forum.

yes, i have watmm-specific emotions like that now.