Avoiding Family

To be fair, I really should talk to him. I had a couple of months, following my graduation from university and realisation that he had lied to me, in which I ignored his calls. I do feel bad for that.

I know he likes jazz and has probably lived an incredibly interesting life that would be great to hear about. I've seen pictures of him in his 20's, wearing a Trilby; the real jazz type. He travelled though the heartland of the music at its peak. But he's impossibly deaf and stubborn in his refusal to seek help for it. Having to effectively shout at him makes me feel uncomfortable and me and my sister have subsequently adopted an incredibly twee persona in order to make ourselves feel better about it. This renders any real conversation very difficult.

I do really want to learn more about him and I think we'd have some things in common, but perhaps I'm as stubborn as him.

lol, maybe hes pretending hes bad at hearing a lot of older people do this. To be fair though, shouldnt he really be trying to spend more time with you, not the other way round.

  abusivegeorge said:

lol, maybe hes pretending hes bad at hearing a lot of older people do this. To be fair though, shouldnt he really be trying to spend more time with you, not the other way round.

That's why he had been calling, I assume. My sister meets him more regularly and he usually parades her around after Watford matches. But I have no interest in seeing Watford (certainly considering they're both crap and not in the Premier League) or making small-talk with his friends.

He looks a bit like Yoda though.

He is regularly invited to see us as a family, around the holidays and occasions, but he often refuses. Presumably because whenever he's here it's the only chance my mother gets to iron-out any of these numerous problems.

Throw into the pot an ex-England international goalkeeper and this shit's far too good to be true.

  Gary C said:

  abusivegeorge said:

lol, maybe hes pretending hes bad at hearing a lot of older people do this. To be fair though, shouldnt he really be trying to spend more time with you, not the other way round.

 

That's why he had been calling, I assume. My sister meets him more regularly and he usually parades her around after Watford matches. But I have no interest in seeing Watford (certainly considering they're both crap and not in the Premier League) or making small-talk with his friends.

He looks a bit like Yoda though.

 

He is regularly invited to see us as a family, around the holidays and occasions, but he often refuses. Presumably because whenever he's here it's the only chance my mother gets to iron-out any of these numerous problems.

 

Throw into the pot an ex-England international goalkeeper and this shit's far too good to be true.

He was an England goalkeeper?

Nah. David Seaman married into the family post Euro '96. Giving the whole thing a backdrop of mansions and celebrity parties.

Richard once threatened to hit me (aged about 10) at a post-tournament gala because I laughed at his drunken dancing and was thrown out of a car and left to walk home.

Richard has also previously had the family home frequented by 3 prostitutes, who were "baking cakes". David and his wife were the first on the scene and for good reason waited away from the house in order to not be seen with them and possibly cause a media-scandal. Once the women had left David entered the house only to be attacked by Richard who was ultimately held up against the wall by his throat, but not before injuring David's hand.

Richard has also, during the most troublesome period of the decade, lived and worked on odd-jobs at David's house. This was originally intended so that he could be given a stable income and accommodation whilst also being under a watchful eye. This period ended when Richard was found hiding in the bushes near to a school.

you should have signed up to watmm as David Seaman

  Gary C said:

Nah. David Seaman married into the family post Euro '96. Giving the whole thing a backdrop of mansions and celebrity parties.

Richard once threatened to hit me (aged about 10) at a post-tournament gala because I laughed at his drunken dancing and was thrown out of a car and left to walk home.

Richard has also previously had the family home frequented by 3 prostitutes, who were "baking cakes". David and his wife were the first on the scene and for good reason waited away from the house in order to not be seen with them and possibly cause a media-scandal. Once the women had left David entered the house only to be attacked by Richard who was ultimately held up against the wall by his throat, but not before injuring David's hand.

Richard has also, during the most troublesome period of the decade, lived and worked on odd-jobs at David's house. This was originally intended so that he could be given a stable income and accommodation whilst also being under a watchful eye. This period ended when Richard was found hiding in the bushes near to a school.

What the fuck, what a strange man.

Dirty laundry aired in public, I fucking love it! :grin:

Where in Florida?

your granda sounds liek a cool geezer

  patternoverlap said:

Where in Florida?

Kissimmee, last I heard.

So this occurred in February, I think.

My grandfather had had enough of having Janetta in the house and effectively kicked them out. Police were involved, but they left amicably and were living in a friends house for a week or so. Presumably Janetta still spent all her time waiting at the airport.

Anyway, at some point towards the end of that week Janetta asked 'when will we be given a house?' Given the perfectly reasonable reply of 'you're not getting a house, go rent one', she turned into a loon. They traipsed around London for a while, living in hotels, and didn't make any concerted effort to find a flat for themselves. When a meeting with an estate-agents was arranged for them they arrived with their bags expecting to be housed that day.

I haven't heard anymore recently. It's gone suspiciously quiet actually.

Also, on the David Seaman front. He has split-up with my auntie (his second wife). I had been talking to the News of the World for a couple of days because there are allegedly 'graphic' text messages. My auntie wasn't originally opposed to the idea of selling a story on him and would presumably like to shame David in public if he deserved it. Apparently he had playing around for at least 3 years, was beginning to drink heavily, and one day decided to leave and hasn't returned since.

I just wanted to make some money out of the thing, as it would probably be my last chance to milk his fame. Alas. It might've been a big story if we'd had the text messages too.

Oh shit, you are gonna be famous!

well shes crazy and hes crazy so maybe just give them the benefit of the doubt, see what happens

avoiding family is an art. i am a true ninja in this discipline myself

The latest: Janetta is living and working in Oxford, allegedly as a professor (re: "I am doctor of psychological sciences"). Richard continues to sleep in unknown places whilst working at Heathrow.

LOL

what the fuck mate

Lol, fucking what.

The Richard&Janetta conundrum has no news.

But on another front, my auntie has now publicly split with David Seaman and tomorrow we're selling* a story (including racy text messages) to the News of the World.

*Not really sure if it can be called that as money-matters will most likely be very complicated. But with these sorts of messages it isn't unfeasible that we can get on the front-page, or at the very least a double-age spread.

I just want some fucking money out of it already. LOL.

My wife and I staged a two week long snowstorm during Christmas to avoid my family.

lol

  On 7/16/2009 at 3:52 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

My wife and I staged a two week long snowstorm during Christmas to avoid my family.

Brilliant!

  On 7/16/2009 at 3:47 AM, Gary C said:

The Richard&Janetta conundrum has no news.

 

But on another front, my auntie has now publicly split with David Seaman and tomorrow we're selling* a story (including racy text messages) to the News of the World.

 

*Not really sure if it can be called that as money-matters will most likely be very complicated. But with these sorts of messages it isn't unfeasible that we can get on the front-page, or at the very least a double-age spread.

 

I just want some fucking money out of it already. LOL.

i don't like it