my new joke

i was talking to Capsaicin but whatever

that joke is 'jazzband' (properly jazzband as in it's posted on watmm every couple of months)

what's the best thing about twenty five year olds fucking?

home made jokes only please

i made that ^ up but it's highly likely that i was not the first.

  LUDD said:

home made jokes only please

so a cucumber and a carrot are sitting next to each other and the cucumber turns to the carrot and says

  keltoi said:

i made that ^ up but it's highly likely that i was not the first.

 

 

 

  LUDD said:

home made jokes only please

 

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

but i'm at work

i was talking to capsaicin (like tauboo)

also: when i first heard it, it was fifty two year olds

i selfishly thought everyone was talking to me. my apologies.

i took my nephew to the swimming pool the other day. in the changing rooms the ever inquistive little guy asked me why my penis was so big compared to his...

What's the best things about fucking ninetyone year olds?

haha

  277: 930-933 said:

haha

no, sorry.

here's one i made up a while back:

A guy is sitting on his porch when another guy comes walking down the street carrying a couple rolls of duct tape. the first guy says, "hey buddy, where you going with all that duct tape?" the second guy says, "I'm going to go catch me some ducks." the first guy says, "you don't catch ducks with duct tape. that's not what it's for." The second guy says "We'll see" and heads off. A while later, he comes back with a bunch of ducks all taped up and the first guy is amazed.

The next day, the first guy is sitting on his porch again when the second guy comes walking down the street carrying a big roll of chicken wire. the first guy says, "hey buddy, where you going with all that chicken wire?" the second guy says, "I'm going to go catch me some chickens." the first guy says, "you don't catch chickens with chicken wire. it's just the name." The second guy says "We'll see" and heads off. A while later, he comes back with a bunch of chickens all caught up in the chicken wire and the first guy can't believe it.

Finally, the next day, the first guy guy is sitting on his porch again when the second guy comes walking down the street this time carrying an elephant gun. the first guy says, "hey buddy, where you going with that elephant gun?" the second guy says, "I'm going to go catch me some elephants." the first guy says, "now there you go. get on up there and shoot some elephants." The second guy comes back a while later but he doesn't have any elephants. The first guy says, "hey, I thought you were going to go shoot some elephants. what happened?" The second guy says, "I guess I should've used duct tape."

no, sorry

FUCK THIS THREAD

  kaini said:

There was unrest in the forest,

There was trouble with the trees,

For the maples wanted sunlight

And the oaks ignored their pleas.

 

The trouble with the maples,

(And they're quite convinced they're right)

They say the oaks are just too lofty

And they grab up all the light.

But the oaks can't help their feelings

If they like the way they're made.

And they wonder why the maples

Can't be happy in their shade.

 

There was trouble in the forest,

And the creatures all had fled,

As the maples screamed "Oppression!"

And the oaks just shake their heads

 

So the maples formed a union

And demanded equal rights.

"The oaks are just too greedy;

We will make them give us light."

Now there's no more oak oppression,

For they passed a noble law,

And the trees are all kept equal

By hatchet, axe, and saw.

Rush i deed it

  abusivegeorge said:

FUCK THIS THREAD

no, sorry

GENTLY ROMP THIS THREAD.

  zaphod said:

no, sorry

i know, it's terrible

so last night i dreamt i was eating a cocktail sausage and i woke up with my penis in my mouth

lol

  LUDD said:

so last night i dreamt i was eating a cocktail sausage and i woke up with my penis in my mouth

Your brain is obviously confusing cocktail sausages with tic tacs.

  abusivegeorge said:

  LUDD said:

so last night i dreamt i was eating a cocktail sausage and i woke up with my penis in my mouth

 

Your brain is obviously confusing cocktail sausages with tic tacs.

it was quite minty now you mention it

small dick lol

  IRARI said:

two tall trees are hanging out in a forest, one looks down to notice a sapling. and he says to the other tall tree, "hey, is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" and the second tree says, "i don't know, i can't see that far down." a couple of days go by... the first tree says to the second tree, "i really must know, is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" the second tree replies that he still can't tell. presently a woodpecker arrives. the trees entreat the woodpecker, "hello woodpecker, is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" the woodpecker says, "i don't know but i plan to find out." so the woodpecker dives under the foliage of the lesser trees, he's gone for a minute or so and then he returns. the trees say, "so which is it, a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" and the woodpecker says:

 

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

"that was the best piece of ash i ever stuck my pecker into!"

Oh, does anyone know what the ridiculous jokes that have serious/logical explanations/punchlines are called?

  LUDD said:

  abusivegeorge said:

  LUDD said:

so last night i dreamt i was eating a cocktail sausage and i woke up with my penis in my mouth

 

Your brain is obviously confusing cocktail sausages with tic tacs.

 

 

it was quite minty now you mention it

Maybe you sleep brushed?

  assegai said:

  IRARI said:

two tall trees are hanging out in a forest, one looks down to notice a sapling. and he says to the other tall tree, "hey, is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" and the second tree says, "i don't know, i can't see that far down." a couple of days go by... the first tree says to the second tree, "i really must know, is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" the second tree replies that he still can't tell. presently a woodpecker arrives. the trees entreat the woodpecker, "hello woodpecker, is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" the woodpecker says, "i don't know but i plan to find out." so the woodpecker dives under the foliage of the lesser trees, he's gone for a minute or so and then he returns. the trees say, "so which is it, a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" and the woodpecker says:

 

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

"that was the best piece of ash i ever stuck my pecker into!"

 

 

Oh, does anyone know what the ridiculous jokes that have serious/logical explanations/punchlines are called?

anti jokes

What do you call a Dwarf Clairvoyant on the run from the Police?