Making bacon properly

the problem with bacon is that it never looks like proper bacon until it is off the pan.

  thanks robert moses said:

the problem with bacon is that it never looks like proper bacon until it is off the pan.

you mean that confuses people so they overcook it?

i find cooking bacon using red hat is somewhat rubbery,

cooking bacon using debian is somewhat tough,

and cooking bacon using freebsd is stringy.

  tauboo said:

  thanks robert moses said:

the problem with bacon is that it never looks like proper bacon until it is off the pan.

you mean that confuses people so they overcook it?

yeah. the air outside of the pan does some fucking magic trick and POOF it's bacon.

i promise you watmm, i will undertake the study of bacon. if you remember my eggy toast thread, you understand the level of scientific rigor of which i am capable~

  hahathhat said:

i find cooking bacon using red hat is somewhat rubbery,

cooking bacon using debian is somewhat tough,

and cooking bacon using freebsd is stringy.

I cooked my bacon using Mandriva and it came out just right.

ubuntu was like the bacon you get in a mcdonalds burger

  hahathhat said:

ubuntu was like the bacon you get in a mcdonalds burger

Kubuntu was like Jack in the Box bacon, Xubuntu was like Carl's Jr. bacon, and Edubuntu cooked it into a fucking veggie burger. Shit.

vax/vms has been left in the produce drawer way, way, waaay too fuckin long.

Gentoo took far too fucking long to cook it. Even longer than raw UNIX. Piece of shit.

solaris is like some kind of space-age, precooked bacon that's pretty good, but nonetheless has an aggrivatingly synthetic undertone to the point where you craive genuine lunix

(insert Linux distro here) caused my bacon to (insert effect here).

zork caused my bacon to be consumed by a grue

thanksomuch, you're here, can you slap these guys or something please?

i ate a buick once

  hahathhat said:

craive

  hahathhat said:

lunix

  hahathhat said:

craive genuine lunix

theres no secret formula for cooking bacon. just take it out a little before you think it should be done. let it cool, it will be perfect when it cools enough to eat

1) open package

2) eat bacon

Im a shitty cook, and frying some bacon in a ban in some butter is like the easiest thing in the world. seriously.

  Quote

It's like there's a SPLIT NANOSECOND difference between undercooked and overcooked bacon. Like if I take it off the pan just before it would be overcooked, it's still undercooked. And if I let it thoroughly cook, it's already overcooked.

 

Next time I make carbonara or a BLT sandwich I want fucking awesome perfect bacon that's done just-right.

 

Any suggestions?

1. Put bacon in pan.

2. Medium low heat.

3. Flip thoroughly once it starts to really cook. I was told that you shouldn't flip it at all. That doesn't work well for me. Flip it often.

4. Remove the bacon when it's near finished cooking so you don't overcook it. When it looks like you can eat it, but it's not crispy enough. That's when you want to stop cooking it.

5. Put it on a plate with a napkin or something to soak all that shit out of it.

It took me many home cooked breakfasts to get bacon perfected, but it was worth it.

  Quote

the problem with bacon is that it never looks like proper bacon until it is off the pan.

Try to cook with as much light as possible.

one flip.

  tauboo said:

one flip.

That's what I meant. I was told to flip it once.

It's a lie.

bacon is just a simple salty meat that is delicious as an ingredient. i can't stand eating fat so it is cooked til it's crispy as fuck (ie. all the fat is crunchy) and then i pat it down with paper. people need to chill the fuck out about bacon.