I'm in love with a girl.

blue adidas shorts, sweaty grey shirt, white socks. i've been exercising

  yek said:

blue adidas shorts, sweaty grey shirt, white socks. i've been exercising

Actually girls are gross anyways. Who wants cooties, you know?

He ended up sad, he ended up sad, he ended up really really really sad.

It's a tricky one, this. Any self respecting watmmer knows that the best way to lose a good soldier(a watmmer) is to offer them sound relationship advice. Therefore Capsaicin, we are here solely to misdirect you. It's like a mother who mildly poisons her child; not enough so that they will die, but enough for that child to remain in need of it's loving yet misguided mother.

gee thanks rambo

:embrassed:

i am your mother

Dear John Rambo:

I had always been the good girl. Always looking to the lord for answers and seemed to always to be on the right 'path'. One that never led me to drugs, premarital/post-marital sex, or the killing of men. So many passes, so many blatant attempts by sick heathens to undo my cargo pant laces but never, never could I undo them for anyone. Not even my douchebag husband Michael. I was always waiting for that right man. That righteous man. That Jesus-looking guy.

Then my parish learned about the genocide going on in Burma and we all knew that something had to be done. Everyone was speaking of Darfur but we figured most of the other missionaries were saving these people and Burma was an untapped market, ripe for saving/conversion. So we packed up as little as possible. Ignored warnings from friends. Didn't know what the internet was and took the first biplane to Thailand. It took us a week to get there because of refueling and restroom stops but we made it and were determined to save these poor poor heathenish Burmese citizens. I had traveled much by this time and was used to not eating and drinking water that made us all sick but the day we entered your village, was the day my vagina activated.

One of the villagers had told us about a man who knew the way to Burma better than anyone but to this day I still don't know how any of us understood Burmese. Then we found you. We walked into a strange display of men taunting cobras, betting on some strange game that was never explained to us and then I saw you. Pulling pythons and cobras and many other venomous phallic creatures out of bags and putting them into cages. I still don't know why you were doing this and how what you were doing had anything to do with the plot but it made me throb. My whole body was like a neon red light district whore house waiting for your python to kill my vagina. Our eyes met. My husband Michael tried to talk to you and convince you to help us but he is a douchebag, I had know this for years and I knew that only I could convince you to use your amazing riverman skills to take us to Burma.

You said we needed weapons. You said we would change nothing but you still decided to take us to our certain deaths because of my vagina. My vagina. When those Burmese pirates wanted to take me hostage and fuck my now fully swollen pussy to death and you killed them all in like half a second, it was like there was piss running down my leg, but it wasn't piss. It was vagina semen!

When we were all taken hostage and some of my douchebag missionary friends were murdered, violently, with amazing cgi gore effects thrown in, I was scared, really fucking scared! Then while the camera was not filming and I was being incessantly raped by the whole Burmese military, I thought of you. I thought maybe it was Jesus but it was you. Jesus doesn't wear a head band and have huge muscles. I knew you were going to 'save' me.

At this point I couldn't give a fuck about 'saving' the Burmese people or my 'friends' or my 'husband'. I wanted you to save me! All the while being raped, I could only think of you. You raping me. Smelling python shit and body oder and sweaty Burmese dicks was making me think of you! I wish the film could have ended differently because I was glad that you saved me. So glad. My pussy was really hurting. Michael was still alive (douchebag). You killed almost everyone, turning some people into what looked like ground meat (which made me hungry), but you never stuck you muscular baby arm sized dick into my virginal throbbing ecstasy hole (yes, Michael and I still haven't had sex). So, I really hope I get to be in the fifth Rambo film so that you can 'convert' me whilst saying, "When yer pushed, killin's as easy as fuckin' you in your throbbin' human-attached glory hole, babe."

Your Convert,

Julie Benz aka Sarah

p.s..please write that last line into the script for me Mr. Stallone, uh, I mean Mr. Rambo....

atop you are beautiful

i preferred you before

Here's me without the beard

Oh damn it's Othello!

penis stalker is my hero

  Atop said:

Oh damn it's Othello!

called it, lol

I should add, this girl is not a stranger and considers me a friend of hers.

ask her out and either score or get a headstart on moving on

watch any teen movie and take notes

definitely jack off somewhere in the sequence

if you can beat off to just her then you know that you're in love

you´re right, you probably should add that. people who know about this stuff were askin´... they need the details otherwise they can´t give you the advice you need for this complex dilemma

you´re not quite there yet tho, you still have to answer these questions

What is she like?

What is he like?

How 'together' do they appear?

Why do you like her?

Where are you in her social scene?

Have you ever spoken to her?

Does she know you exist?

What does she do?

and say this to yourself when you're pumping handy: "you got me shook up, shook down, shook out ....on your lovin"

get's me going ever ytime