So I'm in love with my best friend

wtf a sex and love addict?

Look it up.

never considered there might be a such thing as love addiction, but it makes sense

http://www.recovery-man.com/loveaddict.htm

turns out i may have experienced this at certain times. oh my, the dark places i have gone. the lies, the tears, the obsession, the blowjobs.

i suspect most love addicts are the "anxious attachment" types. the ones that greatly fear abandonment. i'm somewhat the opposite. avoidant attachment.

"As adults, those with an avoidant attachment tend to have difficulty with intimacy and close relationships. These individuals do not invest much emotion in relationships and experience little distress when a relationship ends. They often avoid intimacy by using excuses (such as long work hours), or may fantasize about other people during sex. Research has also shown that adults with an avoidant attachment style are more accepting and likely to engage in casual sex (Feeney, J., Noller, and Patty 1993). Other common characteristics include a failure to support partners during stressful times and an inability to share feelings, thoughts, and emotions with partners."

i don't think i've been this way my whole life. i've called up partners weeping and feeling like an emotional wreck. it just seems that it's been so long. these days i feel as if i will probably never, ever, for my entire life, have a normal, healthy relationship. the way i was raised makes it sure that i won't.

  On 9/7/2009 at 11:16 AM, abusivegeorge said:

Look it up.

calling them "love addicts" seems like a real misnomer. Perhaps romance addicts or passion addicts would be closer.

edit: btw that avoidant attachment quote pretty much nails me.

  On 9/7/2009 at 11:20 AM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

  On 9/7/2009 at 10:50 AM, olson said:

  On 9/7/2009 at 10:47 AM, vamos scorcho said:

dear george,

 

i am glad you have found peace in this situation

 

sincerely,

 

vamos

 

ps

 

i fall in love with just about every girl i run into. therefor i've had to deal with the friendship thing many times. unfortunately it makes me very uncomfortable most of the time.

 

funny story:

i was friends with a girl since kindergarten. last year (about 15 years down the line) i foolishly asked her if she wanted to "be fuck buddies." big mistake. haven't talked to her since, really. a pity, seriously. i miss her. i'm a complete fool.

 

whatever man good on you for havin the balls to ask.

yeah man, you can at least take comfort in that.

it ranks among the lowest moments in my life, when i asked her. but i do take comfort in that it took balls.

  On 9/7/2009 at 11:16 AM, abusivegeorge said:

Look it up.

looks it up, definition...

needy.

  On 9/7/2009 at 1:32 PM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

  On 9/7/2009 at 11:25 AM, vamos scorcho said:

  On 9/7/2009 at 11:20 AM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

  On 9/7/2009 at 10:50 AM, olson said:

  On 9/7/2009 at 10:47 AM, vamos scorcho said:

dear george,

 

i am glad you have found peace in this situation

 

sincerely,

 

vamos

 

ps

 

i fall in love with just about every girl i run into. therefor i've had to deal with the friendship thing many times. unfortunately it makes me very uncomfortable most of the time.

 

funny story:

i was friends with a girl since kindergarten. last year (about 15 years down the line) i foolishly asked her if she wanted to "be fuck buddies." big mistake. haven't talked to her since, really. a pity, seriously. i miss her. i'm a complete fool.

 

whatever man good on you for havin the balls to ask.

yeah man, you can at least take comfort in that.

 

it ranks among the lowest moments in my life, when i asked her. but i do take comfort in that it took balls.

 

big shark balls

Okay, now that you've told her, and she's rejected the advance, you have to ignore her. For a while, like until she gets worried that you might hurt yourself and she'll feel guilty for not at least giving you a chance. When she starts calling, DON'T answer, let her leave a message, DON'T erase all of them. Keep the one that sounds like she's the most concerned. Continue ignoring until she starts dropping by to make sure you aren't soaking yourself with a toaster, but don't let her inside for a while. When you do, make sure you look your absolute worst, leave pizza boxes, soda cans, and burger wrappers everywhere, and tell her it's hell without her, even cleaning the house is pointless. When she accepts you, pull the dropcloth cover off your filthy dining room to reveal a candle-lit dinner, similarly remove your pajama pants and t-shirt to reveal your best suit, clap your hands to signal to your service that the guest is ready for dinner, and provide for her a night she won't remember after she drinks the roofie-laced Perrier.

edit: Changed wine to Perrier, since she doesn't drink.

LOL

Hey, man, if you're not gonna take this seriously, I'm gonna pick up my toys and go home.

  On 9/6/2009 at 9:23 AM, abusivegeorge said:

Well I've just told her. So I've just fucked everything anyway, I've gone white as a sheet and cold as ice.

heheh ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAkHrk0a1ic

for some reason watmmnever lets me embedvids from youtub but whatever .. go there || view that ..

doesn't sound good. find another girl

exactly. It's either 1) get her drunk, shag her and never see her again or 2) never see her again.

You have no choice. But at least try to shag her before you never see her in your entire lifetime. It's bound to happen. Stop stretching the pain. Be a man of yourself.

plenty of dish in the sea ...

lol you guys are so typical of male behaviour, I'm feeling great, I can be friends and am already beginning to move on now that I have acceptance, and the truth is out. Sometimes it's good to work through the pain and come out the either side stronger and still keep what is the most beautiful friendship I've ever had with another human being (bar LUDD, who once put me up for 6 weeks and let me sleep in his bed with him, fucking love this man so much).

you guys!

have no idea.

you don't have to never see her again. just fucking DEAL WITH IT and then you can see her whenever.

"but my heart hurts"

shut the fuck up you whiny little twat. you've seen too many chick flicks.

remember the key here is to DEAL WITH IT.

silly little fucktit.

Your post was a little too late mate^^.

Thanks for backing up what I said though.

  On 9/8/2009 at 12:54 AM, abusivegeorge said:

lol you guys are so typical of male behaviour, I'm feeling great, I can be friends and am already beginning to move on now that I have acceptance, and the truth is out. Sometimes it's good to work through the pain and come out the either side stronger and still keep what is the most beautiful friendship I've ever had with another human being (bar LUDD, who once put me up for 6 weeks and let me sleep in his bed with him, fucking love this man so much).

Typical? Most male do exactly like you, they try to push a relation beyond what was supposed to only be. Then they whine on the intrawebs like it only happened to them in the history of civilisation. Dude, you jumped ladder. You can never come back. You will end up fucking the relationship completely, or end up fucking up yourself. So either shag her fast after a drunk evening, or cut it out completely.

You will never be able to create a bound of loyalty or trust.

Goddamn watmm kids who think they know everything...

this isn't some fairy tale. one of you likes the other more than just friends and i'm sure my assumption that it's you is probably true.

I never once tried for a relationship as I knew that was never going to happen, so I didn't try to push it beyond what it was supposed to be, which is why she was shocked when I told her, but she didn't mind because I'd never expected anything back, she said she is overwhelmed at how I've managed to show her unconditional love for so long and not make my feelings known. I didn't want to tell her untill I knew our friendship was strong enough to withold the truth, which it is, has been and is continuing to do so.

So stop talking shit and trying to fuck my friendship thanks philip glass.

kthxbai.

lol

Goddamn watmm adults who don't know shit.

Wow so you guys really can't have friendships huh?

  On 9/8/2009 at 12:54 AM, Benedict Cumberbatch said:

you guys!

have no idea.

 

you don't have to never see her again. just fucking DEAL WITH IT and then you can see her whenever.

 

"but my heart hurts"

 

shut the fuck up you whiny little twat. you've seen too many chick flicks.

 

remember the key here is to DEAL WITH IT.

 

silly little fucktit.

Qouted for philip glass and Yek, and truth.

Dude, shut the hell up already. You only sound like you're just convincing yourself over and over that you feel great about this. The way you keep acting like anybody here has any effect on what you do makes it sound like you're in some sort of denial. You clearly are still perplexed by what you've gone through and keep trying to convince yourself now that everyone's out to get you when you can't admit you just screwed yourself up by doing this at all.

Lol.

Seriously though, yes I'm still perplexed by it, and yes it still hurts a lot, I haven't screwed anything up though.

And doubly serious, read the rules you stupid thick as shit fucking cunt.

lol I love noobs.