Epic Orgasm Thread (NSFW, probably)

He's either dead or still cumming.

  On 10/26/2009 at 2:35 AM, abusivegeorge said:

Double up on mansize tissues, catch the cum, wrap it up, flush it away.

 

Other than that bubba69's ideas sound good. Hes clearly fucking done it before as well lol.

 

Have you cum yet btw?

No, I'm still at it. I'm starving, though, and my hands are getting chafed (18 hours is a while to keep myself . . . well, you know); and the toilet?! That's fucking disgusting. What is wrong with you Limeys?!

edit; I also do not have a beard, it's just a soul patch, and from the precipitation, I think it's gonna rain to beat hell (read as; not enough space for the baby batter).

Sometimes I put my head down the toilet and flush. I guess I just didn't think there was anything wrong with it. Quicker than having a shower.

  On 10/26/2009 at 2:50 AM, abusivegeorge said:

Sometimes I put my head down the toilet and flush. I guess I just didn't think there was anything wrong with it. Quicker than having a shower.

Wimp/nerd fail if there aren't bullies present.

Was I bully to do this to other people then? I thought that becuase I felt it was fun they would too?

Same goes for me with women and sex really. Even if they don't want to I force them and eventually they enjoy it. It always works. I do keep getting arrested though.

women and sex? explain

  On 10/26/2009 at 2:54 AM, xxx said:

True story

Back in the pubescent days at home, I would get on my knees and put a piece of paper under my tuss and unload onto it. This approaches a level II skill level because it may not be immediately obvious how to fling your sperm beads onto an 11x6 area. The advantage is that wipe up is minimized on hands and tuss. Then again, I had to convince my parents that I was a frustrated artist who ran through many sketches (that part's not true but it's a common comedic tool).

Would sprinkling glitter on it have a similar effect to the "glue art" you do in elementary school?

edit; "Pretty spunk"

Oh, and I can't leave it in my bum, they're called "stiffys" because they don't bend easily.

YES you call them stiffys too.

Thank God.

  On 10/26/2009 at 2:57 AM, Calx Sherbet said:

women and sex? explain

haha, seriusly.

no, but seriusly

place your index finger firmly on the tube between your anus and your balls. This exercise will prevent the ejaculate, altough you will build up the masculine energy. I can hold this energy for years, perhaps you are not as enlightened.

  On 10/26/2009 at 3:08 AM, abusivegeorge said:

YES you call them stiffys too.

 

Thank God.

Stiffys, boners, erections, hard-ons, rigid uterine fire hose, it's all the same thing; something I'll not have for a short period before having it again.

Only read the first page of this thread but it looked like this guy One To Thirty Six had been "fapping (wat?)" and was gonna hunch over and cum down his own throat and swallow the evidence. I'll read the rest tomorrow. If he did go through with it i hope it wasn't a big load.

  On 10/26/2009 at 4:42 AM, Dr Clitterhaus said:

Only read the first page of this thread but it looked like this guy One To Thirty Six had been "fapping (wat?)" and was gonna hunch over and cum down his own throat and swallow the evidence. I'll read the rest tomorrow. If he did go through with it i hope it wasn't a big load.

NO! I'm holding out for a good hiding place that minimizes embarrassment and maintains dignity! I couldn't swallow nut snot if I wanted to, I can barely swallow normal snot!

  On 10/26/2009 at 5:08 AM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

what's wrong with the toilet

The Almighty Devourer of Elimination and Excrement? Why would you want to defile such a holy sanctum?

Also a turn-off.

ejaculate carefully into your bellybutton, then seal it with a piece of scotch tape.

or let it dry in your bellybutton and pretend it's a frozen lake, your chest hair with its flecks of dirt and dandruff is a forest with a fresh layer of snow on it. your masturbatory act becomes a thomas kinkade painting.

  On 10/26/2009 at 5:12 AM, lumpenprol said:

ejaculate carefully into your bellybutton, then seal it with a piece of scotch tape.

Well, that could work, except the boner doesn't point in any direction but out, and like I said before, it's not exactly limber.

What about donating it to the Christian Children's Fund? They've got a bank, right?

  On 10/26/2009 at 5:23 AM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

i think you're having us on. every suggestion seems to be rebutted somehow

Actually, if this gets to ten pages, I was going to attempt every suggestion.

edit; Are you not having fun? I am.

Fucking lol, you are someone who has done nothing but entertain me since you got here 1-36. If your wife hadn't married you I would have.

  On 10/26/2009 at 5:29 AM, abusivegeorge said:

Fucking lol, you are someone who has done nothing but entertain me since you got here 1-36. If your wife hadn't married you I would have.

If I hadn't married her, I wouldn't have met you . . .

So I guess I owe her a "thank you" . . .

I am so gonna get slapped.

But you know, if she aims low enough, and I jump a little, maybe she'll slap the right spot and I can unload right on her! No, no, she'll be expecting that . . .

You wouldn't have met me? Did she introduce you to watmm? Are you hiding something from us?

I think the best way for you to say thankyou is to just climb into bed with her tonight tickle her fanny a little bit and just unload somewhere in the bed.

  On 10/26/2009 at 5:53 AM, abusivegeorge said:

You wouldn't have met me? Did she introduce you to watmm? Are you hiding something from us?

 

I think the best way for you to say thankyou is to just climb into bed with her tonight tickle her fanny a little bit and just unload somewhere in the bed.

Well, it's a long story, but the statement is true; if I hadn't married her, I would never have found this forum, which I did on my own (like using the potty), and the only thing I'm hiding is a secret.

Maybe just wave it in her face and release the tension there?

lololol

Or I could just tell her I had a really bad five-minute cold.