my fiance left me

  On 11/20/2009 at 9:15 PM, BCM said:

hey petra,

 

really sorry to hear you're having a hard time...

 

*sends hugs*

thank you :)

not a good idea to post shit like this on watmm.

jus' sayin'

yeah full name viewable on those tab labels .. prob. pull those yeah .. specially given the vibe in 'ir .. one of 'em's bound to be a stalker in training ..

smells like drool in here

  On 11/20/2009 at 9:51 PM, delet... said:

yeah full name viewable on those tab labels .. prob. pull those yeah .. specially given the vibe in 'ir .. one of 'em's bound to be a stalker in training ..

my website is already my full name, as is most everything else i have online. so the jig has been up for a while. come find me. i'll give you some medications.

fair enough ...

more hospital pics, but these are from september when they thought i had leukemia. instead it was a severe case of mononucleosis. 2nd pic - rubber johnny i know o-k?

stop it.

this is another picture of me with mono

all i could eat was mango because my immune system was so low and my mouth was filled with 14 canker sores as big as quarters. mango was the only thing that didnt sting and was supposed to heal the sores

i meant papaya

  On 11/20/2009 at 9:00 PM, OneToThirtySix said:

  On 11/20/2009 at 8:58 PM, kaini said:

i'm just waiting for troon to fill this thread with pseudo-mystical bullshit

 

this is a pre-emptive fuck off troon

Otherwise kaini and I will have to whip out our proverbial nines to defend half of the girls on this forum.

i'd say the same thing if it was a beno thread

i'll stop now. i feel sick

it's incredible how life can change completely with no warning

Some days are good, some days are bad.

And then you die

Fulfill your internal sense of peace and harmony inside that.

p.s.:

  On 11/20/2009 at 10:00 PM, petr said:

instead it was a severe case of mononucleosis. 2nd pic - rubber johnny i know o-k?

more come on my selector

  On 11/20/2009 at 10:36 PM, kaini said:

  On 11/20/2009 at 9:00 PM, OneToThirtySix said:

  On 11/20/2009 at 8:58 PM, kaini said:

i'm just waiting for troon to fill this thread with pseudo-mystical bullshit

 

this is a pre-emptive fuck off troon

Otherwise kaini and I will have to whip out our proverbial nines to defend half of the girls on this forum.

 

i'd say the same thing if it was a beno thread

Wait, beno's a girl? Or did you think I didn't mean guns?

  On 11/20/2009 at 11:15 PM, idrn said:

  On 11/20/2009 at 10:00 PM, petr said:

instead it was a severe case of mononucleosis. 2nd pic - rubber johnny i know o-k?

 

more come on my selector

chris clark actually

have you seen her art? way too much jpeg compression

i just threw up im still nauseous and i have a headache i didn't know i couldnt mix my pain and anti anxiety medications i am so bad at being mentally ill i have the worst headache dont make fun of my jpg compression

jpg compression is the new tape hiss

you're hot with mono.

ok dont worry it was a special joke about chris clark, your compressions are all good

take a neurofen and chin up, watch some kittens gallivanting on youtube, have a walk, that sort of thing. you're not bad at being mentally ill. being bad at mental illness is dribbling on your shirt and acting like troon. everyone is mentally ill and you seem to be quite awesome at it.

wow all things considered its really really fantastic luck that you didn't have leukemia after all. My cousin died of leukemia when she was 16

Depression is certainly tough to deal with, I can't vouch for bipolar but I have been through some serious bouts of depression. One piece of advice I would say is never underestimate your mind's ability to change itself. Thoughts like "I won't ever change" are irrational. Not only will they not get you anywhere, but they are completely false. Disorder or not, you and you alone have the power to change your thinking patterns. Meds will help too but don't think they are the solution. It needs to come internally and it will come internally if you allow it to.

yeah man, i was about to say something to that effect - keep telling yourself you're broke then you start breaking yourself. and feeling sad isn't a bad thing. the whole point of feeling sad is that you can identify and address what's the matter with your life. but if you get pumped full of drugs negating that frame of mind then you can make the same mistakes again more easily and it can become a spiral where you think you have no control over it.

yes a lot of it is just internal strength on my part. everything is a fraction of the whole picture: the right medication, diet, exercise, sleep. it is a lot of fucking work. most people with bipolar dont even monitor all the things they need to. i already have become very educated about it and know what i need to do to lead a normal life.

right now however, i am still very weak and i am not going to put too much pressure on myself to be perfect at this point.

but thank you guys that is "empowering" advice.