what's the funniest thing you've ever seen?

  On 11/30/2009 at 1:50 AM, 4d0lf said:

My drunk friend,in the woods, took a bottle of water and thrown it up, approximately 20m. Bottle on its way broke some rotten branches. Fleeing those branches, he entangled his foot in some thorny shrubs. He started to falling, face down to those shrubs and the bottle landed on his head. The rest of us were stoned and when he fell to those thorns, we had a good 10min painful laugh..

 

also yesterday I've seen a Russian horror, "Paragraph 78". I was wtflmaoing the whole time..

hahahah, excellent.

My boss started choking at work, I had to go in the back room I was laughing so much....he could have died. LOL

  On 11/30/2009 at 1:47 AM, abusivegeorge said:

Was round my friends house, I was at his computer, he was sat on the bed beside me, he got up to proceed to exit the bedroom door and head downstairs. Not but a few moments earlier his sister and her bf had popped into say goodnight to us, and they went into their bedroom, right next to my friends room. As he stood tall and took his first step he tripped and headed for the bedroom wall, it was quite a violent lunge forward, but instead of putting out his hands to break his fall against the wall, he extended his neck and pushed his head forward in attempt to break the fall with his forehead. His head went straight through his bedroom wall, right through to the other side, where his sister and her bf had just climbed into bed. Their bed faced directly towards the wall that my friend had just put his head though, so not a a moment to soon did they climb into bed and all of a sudden her brothers head comes crashing through the bedroom wall, staring straight at them in what I can only imagine was a dusty cloud of smoke.

oh lordy. that's a good one

oh wait... what i've seen! ok...

when my dad was an alcoholic, we had a bbq at our house around 1989. everyone was having a good time. i had friends from high school over, and family visiting from NY and from L.A. music was playing in the back yard and my dad comes out playing air keyboard and air trumpet... then he picks up a lawn chair and throws it over his shoulder and it hits the grill knocking it over and ruining dinner... everone laughed but then the laughter turned to "WTF?" and "WTF are we gonna do about dinner?" then the get together got all crazy with my dad kicking my friends out and calling each and everyone of them a "FAGGOT!" as they walked out!

a very lol moment, but my dad is the reason i don't drink excessively!

  On 11/30/2009 at 2:04 AM, placidburp said:

My boss started choking at work, I had to go in the back room I was laughing so much....he could have died. LOL

im sorry but this is really funny too, haha. oh wow. as i read this i could imagine myself reacting like this but i cannot control my laughter once i get rolling. fuck bosses, haha, if they're asshats of course.

well it's more of an experience. i was driving me and my friend around, and i wasn't really paying attention. i ALMOST ran a red light. well actually i kinda did. about 20-30 feet before i got to the intersection. i slammed on the brakes and this screech probably just echoed all around the city block. we skidded for a long ways both leaning all the way forward. we finally came to a halt in the middle of the intersection, so i was lthinking ""fuck it, we're alread halfway through", so i just punch it and we take off. as soon as i'm at the other side, it turns green.

we could been t-boned to death, but i couldn't stop laughing about it all night. it just seemed so hysterical

my best friend in high school talking about being torn up over his uncle dying. He had never been serious before in front of me and I burst out laughing in his face. I apologized and explained that the scene just couldn't process in my mind correctly.

I say this was the funniest because it's so far from funny and yet that still couldn't keep me in control of my laughter.

Also this guy choked in front of me once, and for the same reasons listed above, I didn't believe him and he almost passed out from choking. This was also very funny at the time.

Let these tales be a lesson to 24hr clowns

i wish i was someone else in this story.

so when i was in first year in secondary school we had an exchange teacher from ghana. he told us many wondrous things, including the way they tell stories in ghana. people gather around the campfire and tell a tale. and at times, people will stand up and proclaim 'i was there!' and sing a song, which everyone joins in with. we partake in many stories, interjected with 'i was there!'s and many pop culture songs.

the clash's 'i fought the law' was in an advert at the time. a classmate tells a story about an entanglement with the law. i stand up in the middle of the story and proclaim 'I WAS THERE!!!' at the top of my lungs. i break into 'i fought the law'. not a soul joins in. i gamely persist, and give up after a minute or so and sit down. pure, distilled

if i was someone other than me, i think this would count.

oh, damn....

  On 11/30/2009 at 2:18 AM, Calx Sherbet said:

well it's more of an experience. i was driving me and my friend around, and i wasn't really paying attention. i ALMOST ran a red light. well actually i kinda did. about 20-30 feet before i got to the intersection. i slammed on the brakes and this screech probably just echoed all around the city block. we skidded for a long ways both leaning all the way forward. we finally came to a halt in the middle of the intersection, so i was lthinking ""fuck it, we're alread halfway through", so i just punch it and we take off. as soon as i'm at the other side, it turns green.

 

we could been t-boned to death, but i couldn't stop laughing about it all night. it just seemed so hysterical

Something very similar happened to me and my two best friends, we were in a might max pickup, standard. When he hit the brakes where in the middle of the intersection. Seemed like there was a moment where everyone was looking at us like saying "your move...". At this point, im in the bitch seat, i point forward and quietly say, go forward dude. haha

and to adjective, class, haha, i will heed the warning.

In 10th grade I walked into my english class, looked towards the left, and saw a cupcake superglued to the wall

me and my friends glued it there the day before

My farts utterly stink! If there was someone here with me now that could smell my farts, it would be the funniest thing ever to see them gag. that's all.

one time i placed a big wad of gum on a desk seat to fuck up my friends school uniform pants. It was the desk immediately by the entrance. Turns out a supervisor from the ministry of education sat in that day for our class, and chose said desk. Her skirt got all jacked up, poor lady, so young and pretty. I felt pretty bad but the guys had a laugh.

  On 11/30/2009 at 3:03 AM, Rightsidedrive said:

one time i placed a big wad of gum on a desk seat to fuck up my friends school uniform pants. It was the desk immediately by the entrance. Turns out a supervisor from the ministry of education sat in that day for our class, and chose said desk. Her skirt got all jacked up, poor lady, so young and pretty. I felt pretty bad but the guys had a fap.

ftfy

haha yeah...i agree, fuck the fucking youth.

For whatever reason I find people vomiting to be the funniest thing. One bright day in high school a buddy of mine decided it would be funny to scarf down many a pizza and proceed to throw it up whilst the rest of us where mid way into our lunch. So, as planned, I was half way through my sandwich and he stood up in front where we were sitting and let out this behemoth of chunky stuff that stretched his jaw wider than I had ever seen one stretch. This created a domino effect and before I knew it we were all barfing and laughing. I feel terrible now looking back at the poor guy who had to clean it up.

  On 11/30/2009 at 2:32 AM, kaini said:

i wish i was someone else in this story.

 

so when i was in first year in secondary school we had an exchange teacher from ghana. he told us many wondrous things, including the way they tell stories in ghana. people gather around the campfire and tell a tale. and at times, people will stand up and proclaim 'i was there!' and sing a song, which everyone joins in with. we partake in many stories, interjected with 'i was there!'s and many pop culture songs.

 

the clash's 'i fought the law' was in an advert at the time. a classmate tells a story about an entanglement with the law. i stand up in the middle of the story and proclaim 'I WAS THERE!!!' at the top of my lungs. i break into 'i fought the law'. not a soul joins in. i gamely persist, and give up after a minute or so and sit down. pure, distilled

 

if i was someone other than me, i think this would count.

oh lordy lol....

something similar happened last year to me. perhaps not as funny but painful:

my english teacher was covering our syllabus for the year in front of our silent class: "Hamlet..... Beowulf, and then Conrad's Heart of Darkness."

At this moment I wailed in a pained voice, "OH, THE HORROR, THE HORROR!"

He stopped, the entire class (including him) looked at me as if I had just stabbed someone in the eye and then repeatedly fucked the socket. About 5 seconds of silence, and then me babbling my way through my explanation of my words, " nonononono..... it's in the book! Don't you guys... uh.... hahahha....... i was kidding.... " My teacher asked me to leave the classroom. Fuck him and my dumbfuck classmates for not getting my reference i thought as i loped out of the room

  On 11/30/2009 at 2:51 AM, placidburp said:

My farts utterly stink! If there was someone here with me now that could smell my farts, it would be the funniest thing ever to see them gag. that's all.

I had this lazy cat that wouldn't clean itself so the other cat sought to cleaning her and many a time he would gag and make jesus-good-fucking-gawd-what-is-that? type faces as he neared the butt.

well i would love your cat, we could ourtfart each otherr. blarghh

  On 11/30/2009 at 3:28 AM, goffer said:

  On 11/30/2009 at 2:51 AM, placidburp said:

My farts utterly stink! If there was someone here with me now that could smell my farts, it would be the funniest thing ever to see them gag. that's all.

I had this lazy cat that wouldn't clean itself so the other cat sought to cleaning her and many a time he would gag and make jesus-good-fucking-gawd-what-is-that? type faces as he neared the butt.

MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH i can picture that too.

It's too hard to pick a single event IRL, and most of them involve long explanations or in-jokes. On the forums however it would have to be this.

  On 11/30/2009 at 3:28 AM, goffer said:

  On 11/30/2009 at 2:51 AM, placidburp said:

My farts utterly stink! If there was someone here with me now that could smell my farts, it would be the funniest thing ever to see them gag. that's all.

I had this lazy cat that wouldn't clean itself so the other cat sought to cleaning her and many a time he would gag and make jesus-good-fucking-gawd-what-is-that? type faces as he neared the butt.

lol

  On 11/30/2009 at 3:56 AM, Rabid said:

It's too hard to pick a single event IRL, and most of them involve long explanations or in-jokes. On the forums however it would have to be this.

You just made me tear up a bit. This was one of my best irl friends. Unfortunately his wife (my ex-g/f), has threatened him with divorce if he has any contact with me, and unfortunately, he has justified this in his mind somehow. I haven't talked to him since the day after his last post here. Gutted. Despite talking to his brother (who I actually was friends with 1st) on the comp, this reminder of his retarded posting hijinks made me really sad. Damnit rabid.

err, sorry for fucking up the thread. You may resume.

oh lawd, that was a good thread. deserves publishing

  On 11/30/2009 at 4:15 AM, Calx Sherbet said:

oh lawd, that was a good thread. deserves publishing

lol almost all of his were fucked up for some reason.

Edit: the biggest lol is the thread title. you can see her name in it, innit.