how do you wipe?

my friend and i were having an intense conversation about pooping and at one point he mentioned that he stands up to wipe. he stood up in the bar we were in and demonstrated, putting one foot up on a stool, like george washington crossing the delaware, whilst shitting. this blew my mind. i told him that this is how girls put tampons in, not how men wipe. when i wipe i resemble rodin's thinker, deep in contemplation.

how do you wipe?

circular until erection is achieved

ah, the bi-yearly "how do you wipe?" thread

ludd is too cool for this.

i've always wiped back to front. having said that, it is not like i'm wiping over my vagina after a bowel movement. just dont wipe too far up. i'm over 21 years of age, and i have never had any kind of problems or infections, yeast or otherwise, down there,so i say front to back only is a myth as long as you dont overshoot your boundary. i think a more important thing to talk about on the lines of vaginal infection causes is proper cleaning. you should never use soap or douches, only warm water, and to do this pretty often. too often, or using soaps and douches, will cause you to kill the good bacteria that protect us from such infections. but again, wiping back to front or front to back does not matter as long as 1) you dont overshoot your boundary (ie you had a bowel movement, dont wipe across your vagina) and 2) proper, regular (not excessive) cleaning of your privates. now to those worried about fecal matter and bacteria getting to your privates.... every time you pass gas, you are releasing fecal matter and bacteria that, especially when sitting in a chair or something, can make its way into your vagina. plus it can get on your underwear (and i'm not talking about obvious skid marks, just usual unseen matter) and as we all know, underwear can sometimes slide around. so, in conclusion, back to front is just fine provided you do the two things i mentioned above.

yes but do you stand? seriously who the hell stands up to wipe?

i dont know but i find my wife frequently treats me like used bog roll. actually i push the ass spray button on my toilet before i do the "2 up, one back to the balls" wipe.

I lift my ass up a bit but I haven't stood since I was a kid.

EDIT: My cute and supple ass ;)

Front-back, left-right, right-left, front-back, back-front. Three squares.

Unless it's liquid, and is releasing itself in droves, in which case I wad up a fistful and grind it around until the paper stays dry.

front back.....

until no brown or i think i'm done

then some back front under the balls action just to check make sure nothing bads gonna happen rest of the day

these threads have implanted so much contradictory theory in my head that i've given up out of frustration.

  On 12/13/2009 at 5:25 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

Front-back, left-right, right-left, front-back, back-front. Three squares.

 

Unless it's liquid, and is releasing itself in droves, in which case I wad up a fistful and grind it around until the paper stays dry.

up up down down left right left right b a select start

  On 12/13/2009 at 4:32 AM, hexagon son said:

i dont know but i find my wife frequently treats me like used bog roll. actually i push the ass spray button on my toilet before i do the "2 up, one back to the balls" wipe.

i'm jealous of your washlet.

if I had money i would buy one

  On 12/13/2009 at 4:32 AM, hexagon son said:

i dont know but i find my wife frequently treats me like used bog roll. actually i push the ass spray button on my toilet before i do the "2 up, one back to the balls" wipe.

I did the same in Korea. Man I miss those toilets. Other wise I'm a strictly back to front kinda guy with some variation depending on the shit.

how long you been away from korea, actually just got back to japan last week myself. i missed my toilet very much when i was in canada.

I've been here since March. Too goddamn long to be without ma toilet!

Back to front a few times and then front to back in case there was any buildup during the back to front phase

My method is too complicated.

None of you would understand.

  On 12/13/2009 at 7:22 AM, jefferoo said:

My method is too complicated.

None of you would understand.

humor us. We can try.

I stand, but I keep both feet on the floor.

Two in the pink one in the stink

I usually just stand up and shake my ass until I feel the last droplet of poo release itself from the matted mass of hair, pull up the pants and hope for the best. I'm a man godamnit

I use the three shells.