"Go Get Help. Please. I Think I Shit Out My Intestines"

:yes:

  On 5/13/2010 at 9:39 AM, xxx said:

that famous weightlifter shot should give you an idea how much force the rectum withstands before slipping past the anal sphincters (did you know there are two? booyakasha!).

yes, in the homo community we call them grippers.

OK, sorted now - didn't set the permissions for all the other groups!

LOL @...

  On 5/13/2010 at 7:38 AM, jefferoo said:

Some hella lols in here. Well done!

 

I'm sure I could remember something funny or awful that happened to me....

dude weren't you the guy who almost shat himself at a photo shoot? i recall that being pretty funny man. i was on the edge of my seat refreshing that thread to see if you sharted a liquid stream in front of the models...

All this makes me want to go watch Dreamcatchers.

  On 5/13/2010 at 6:54 PM, jefferoo said:

LOL @...

That's a default auto-generated graphic... I'm looking into having custom headers and the like once this rolls out to everyone!

  On 5/12/2010 at 11:38 PM, Candiru said:

It could've been worse for the poor guy. Character #3 in this story did not fare so well.

 

http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts

This will haunt me for the rest of my days.

I hate that story.

Update: turns out the guy tore his sphincter (ouch) due to chronic constipation (hence the wet clay sounds I heard) pushing too hard on one massive dump - one so large that they actually had to have building maintenance/housekeeping come up, remove the stuff from the toilet, as it was so hard and impacted that it would not flush down.

How do I know this? I got an email from him (apparently he asked around the office via email who notified the authorities, and my boss told him who it was), thanking me for getting help when someone else might have just walked away. He won't be back at work until next Monday, and to be honest I hope he doesn't come up to shake my hand

So as part of that email he told you of his ordeal in that great of detail?

  On 5/14/2010 at 10:47 PM, Joyrex said:

Update: turns out the guy tore his sphincter (ouch) due to chronic constipation (hence the wet clay sounds I heard) pushing too hard on one massive dump - one so large that they actually had to have building maintenance/housekeeping come up, remove the stuff from the toilet, as it was so hard and impacted that it would not flush down.

 

How do I know this? I got an email from him (apparently he asked around the office via email who notified the authorities, and my boss told him who it was), thanking me for getting help when someone else might have just walked away. He won't be back at work until next Monday, and to be honest I hope he doesn't come up to shake my hand

SERIOUSLY, GUYZ!

  On 5/14/2010 at 11:00 PM, scones to die for said:

So as part of that email he told you of his ordeal in that great of detail?

No, that actually came from my boss (who in turn I guess spoke to his boss in his department) - the only mention of his condition in the email was "I'm doing much better, and it wasn't as bad as I had feared when you came to my aid."

  On 5/14/2010 at 11:06 PM, Joyrex said:

  On 5/14/2010 at 11:00 PM, scones to die for said:

So as part of that email he told you of his ordeal in that great of detail?

 

No, that actually came from my boss (who in turn I guess spoke to his boss in his department) - the only mention of his condition in the email was "I'm doing much better, and it wasn't as bad as I had feared when you came to my aid."

At first I was going to say that I can't believe that your bosses revealed so much info about the poor guy's private medical problems, and then I remembered you said you work for a law firm. Now I can't believe that they didn't circulate his actual medical files along with amusingly shopped macros of the poor guy on the toilet.

this was a pretty shitty week, apparently

This thread scared me shitless - I literally have not taken a dump for over 24 hours (rare for me).

"Dear Christ! I'm pissing out my ass!"

  On 5/15/2010 at 3:27 AM, Rabid said:

This thread scared me shitless - I literally have not taken a dump for over 24 hours (rare for me).