limp handshake

Also, make sure that your smile is bigger than theirs. You always want to be the most pleased to meet the other person. If you need, do some mouth and facial muscle stretches so that you can get the desired size. Inserting large objects into your mouth for short bursts of time can help maximize the smile.

  On 1/13/2011 at 9:08 PM, Smettingham Rutherford IV said:

i have a firm shake but i have a bad habit of looking at the handshake as it transpires....its hard to shake hands and remember to look in the man's eyes.

i do the same thing. i'm look into peoples eyes when talking like 50 percent of the time, i find it hard to think and talk while looking at someone constantly

i hate the overly compassionate 2nd hand covers the whole handshake thing. unless your dog just died its totally nauseating

nothing more pleasant than crushing the bones of the person you are about to meet.

To be a pisser, I don't think handshakes convey anything about the person you are meeting. It's just an annoying formality. Firm handshakers are just people who believe that handshaking is important, therefore they overdo it. And I suppose limp handshakers are flaming faggots but that doesn't mean they are ineffectual businessmen.

though a sweaty handshake is a pretty good indicator when someone's nervous, i'll give you that

Pfft... I'll see your firm handshake and raise you one dap:

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once when i was younger (like 12 years old?) and met my grandparents i first hugged my grandma, and then hugged my grandpa, even though he had his hand out ready for me to shake it, and i

could almost smell the dissapoint in the air, and from then on i always shook the shit out of his hand whenever i met him or anyone else. thanks grandpa.

  On 1/14/2011 at 2:31 AM, lumpenprol said:

though a sweaty handshake is a pretty good indicator when someone's nervous, i'll give you that

My hands are almost always sweaty and im not nervous im high as fuck

  On 1/13/2011 at 5:58 PM, keltoi said:

nothing exposes your soul like a limp handshake. you are shifty, insecure and cannot be trusted.

 

 

while a firm lingering handshake with eye contact is almost as uniting and intimate as sexual intercourse.

Problem with that idea is what do you do when an handshake is really trying to find some balance between individuals. So i naturally go for the firm handshake, maybe cause i came to understand early on that it's more societally acceptable. Even though in my heart of hearts i don't really want to be touching any random motherfuckers hand in the first place. How can you know what their personal opinions on hygene are like, and what then if i need to buy a quick snack but now have potentially filthy hands and no where to wash them thanks to this shaking hands horseshit.

Anyway back to my point, some people are limp dicks, or born female, you don't want to crush their hands in an attempt to keenly express how genuine you are now do you ?? So i tend to shake dependant on the circumstance. But never weakly.

  On 1/14/2011 at 1:06 PM, delet... said:

Anyway back to my point, some people are limp dicks, or born female, you don't want to crush their hands in an attempt to keenly express how genuine you are now do you ?? So i tend to shake dependant on the circumstance. But never weakly.

but i don't believe anyone, female or weakling included, wants to be on the recieving end of a pathetically limp handshake. although females are less likely to give you the super-firm powershake, they still deserve a certain level of firmness in order to ascertain your prowess and work out if they'd like to sleep with you.

ahh, so you take control of the handshake for sexual purposes, why didn't i work this out earlier. *goes out to the local shopping centre for meet and greet.

yeah it's totally sexual.

  On 1/13/2011 at 5:58 PM, keltoi said:

while a firm lingering handshake with eye contact is almost as uniting and intimate as sexual intercourse.

I like to spread my index and middle fingers into a 'V' and jab them straight into the burka's eye hole.

this one friend of mine is a total sketchball. he never looks me in the eye, even when i let him in to my house, and never gives me any type of real handshake. i used to think it was some stupid formality, but when you realize it's a universal greeting it starts to matter.

it's a universally stupid formality

who the hell greets their friend with a handshake?

  On 1/14/2011 at 5:48 PM, remy marathe said:

who the hell greets their friend with a handshake?

this is what i was thinking, i mean i've seen it in movies and stuff so i kinda thought it was an american thing. guess not.

in professional situations i'll do it, but only because you're expected to as it's a completely stupid social formality, but with friends that's just really weird.

i shake friends hands all the time. it's got to have been a while since i seen them last. and i always kiss and hug female friends. i'm warm and affectionate.

I shake hands by launching one of these at the person's outstretched hand.

  On 1/14/2011 at 6:02 PM, nene multiple assgasms said:

I shake hands by launching one of these at the person's outstretched hand.

 

i used to love those sticky hands

A friend of mine doesn't give anyone hugs, handshakes or anything. Not even his fucking parents or brother. I always force a hug upon him but if I didn't he would just stand there and greet me. But how the hell do you NOT give your family hugs or kisses?

If a man gives you a limp handshake, the correct solution is to make a fist with your non-shaking hand, and punch him in the scrotum as hard as you can.

If a woman gives you a limp handshake, she's signifying that the appropriate next step is for you to lower your trousers.

*jots it down*