stupid first world problems you're dealing with

  On 10/21/2020 at 8:14 PM, user said:

Are we talking wrongly assessed fart resulting in a wet hot mess or solid turds being expulsed apropos of nothing? 

To be honest it was worse than either of those scenarios.  I've had a bit of an upset stomach for the past week, and just unleashed explosive diarrhea into my pants, no forewarning gurgling.  Ran to the toilet, and explosion number 2 happened just as I had loosened my pants and was lowering them.  Items covered included the toilet cistern, toilet seat, back wall, shower curtain, the bath itself, the floor, all my clothes and I even managed to bullseye the waste paper bin with a rare vaguely solid bit.  If there was a film called 'Everything's covered in liquid shit, including myself' then I would have been all set for the describe your last shit with a movie title thread.

  On 10/21/2020 at 8:22 PM, Braintree said:

Just pretend that you did it on purpose and the cat will still respect you.

Thank god cats live in the moment otherwise I would have had to have her put down.

  On 10/21/2020 at 6:24 PM, kakapo said:

Just shat myself.  Not prone to this happening, took me by surprise.  Big enough mess that I had to strip down and get a shower.  Cat just sniffed me and looked at me in disgust while this was happening, which to be honest is a bit hypocritical considering I cleaned up after she was poorly.

This is a serious first world problem

Got home an hour and a half late because my manager is a slacker and forgot to give me a set of keys. Now it's late and I don't even feel like making something for dinner and I'm fucking cold because: WINTER IS COMING.

ended a relationship because she described my trax as technically proficient

got my tax refunds and property tax bill on same day.. again. 

  On 10/22/2020 at 11:23 PM, Cryptowen said:

ended a relationship because she described my trax as technically proficient

Welcome home!

FWP facebook thinks I want to know what's up with all the guitar gods because I watched some Van Halen videos after he died.

  On 10/23/2020 at 12:55 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Welcome home!

ty, feels good to be back on the virtual

hopefully now that i'm almost 30 i can begin to somewhat control my urge to dramatically cut all social ties based on events in my romantic life

i hope you've all been well! insert standard 2020 wild ride comment here

@Cryptowen Good to see you.

My girlfriend and I broke up three weeks before the lockdown, so I feel my social ties were cut for me.

I probably felt my shittiest after my last breakup, which was after a pretty short lived relationship post-covid.  While I didn't exactly cut any social ties, I didn't really want to see anyone for a while thereafter. Romance is hardly worth it really.

FWP2: pretty sure I ripped off Beck with this last vocal melody idea, and now I have to search blindly for the song in order to confirm... or I could just scratch the melody idea.  Either way I still have to know what song it is, as it's driving me nuts.

People still use Facebook ?

  On 10/19/2020 at 11:20 PM, Nebraska said:

donald trump jr dealing with some first world problems

 

Expand  

don jr's troubles continue

All my cereal is stale.

  On 10/25/2020 at 12:46 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

All my cereal is stale.

You don't eat enough cereal 

ate a lot of scotch bonnet peppers last night before bed

  On 10/25/2020 at 12:49 PM, Cryptowen said:

ate a lot of scotch bonnet peppers last night before bed

Mi mierde es feugo, dios mio

turns out they're spicier on the way out

It all comes down to conditioning your portal imho. 

  On 10/25/2020 at 2:53 PM, Cryptowen said:

turns out they're spicier on the way out

You know, everyone keeps saying that and yet I poop happy as squirting otter the morning after eating spicy food. I've never set my asshole on fire, not even after eating half a jar of Mme Jeannette's viciously hot Surinamese sambal.

My kyboar i ying

  On 10/25/2020 at 12:49 PM, Cryptowen said:

ate a lot of scotch bonnet peppers last night before bed

Supposedly they're pretty much a staple in Jamaican cooking, even though I've never been to Jamaica.

just bought some ghost peppers gonna awaken the kundalini

Delivered food to someone who I used to be very good friends with in high school and for a while after, who I haven't seen in years... but I just left the food at his door and hurried out of sight because I am a coward. (99% sure it was him, because same name, same distinctive voice on the intercom, and same area that he's been living for many years.)

  On 10/27/2020 at 4:01 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Delivered food to someone who I used to be very good friends with in high school and for a while after, who I haven't seen in years... but I just left the food at his door and hurried out of sight because I am a coward. (99% sure it was him, because same name, same distinctive voice on the intercom, and same area that he's been living for many years.)

Introvert (tm).

I do this kinda thing all the time tbh. Social anxiety

Lolz, me too