stupid first world problems you're dealing with

I've been eating alot of kraft dinner lately i dunno. Something I realized I haven't had in ages which I'm kind of craving is ramen.

You'd think I'd be a Kraft Dinner guy, but I just can't get behind it.  Tastes wrong to me.  But I'm no stranger to ramen.  I usually crack an egg in it.  Those new hipster restaurants that specialize in Ramen are all excellent.  Hit one of those up this week.

  On 11/30/2020 at 10:39 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Ugh, so hungry, but not motivated to cook... and it's already 1:40am.  This is a pretty regular FWP for me.

I could order McDonald's delivery, but that would be fucked up.

this morning I was tossing a coin between a McDonald's breakfast or ordering from a fancy place in London called EGG SLUT. Which would've been basically a posh egg & sausage mcmuffin but it's £15. But also I wouldn't need to leave the house.

The coin landed on the EGG SLUT. I still went to McDonald's in the end.

the egg slut looks like this:

Great restaurant name.  Quite the little harlot of a breakfast sandwich too.

  On 11/30/2020 at 12:04 PM, hello spiral said:

this morning I was tossing a coin between a McDonald's breakfast or ordering from a fancy place in London called EGG SLUT. Which would've been basically a posh egg & sausage mcmuffin but it's £15. But also I wouldn't need to leave the house.

The coin landed on the EGG SLUT. I still went to McDonald's in the end.

the egg slut looks like this:

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Egg Slut is good stuff, hipster mcmuffins. Didn't know they had gone global.

  On 11/30/2020 at 1:09 PM, Enthusiast said:

Egg Slut is good stuff, hipster mcmuffins. Didn't know they had gone global.

yah, I think my ex and I noticed a girl wearing one of their shirts and googled it after we were like "wtf did her shirt say?" last year some time.

I feel ordering one would put me out of pocket for something that would arrive cold. I intend to order one outside the actual place and eat it while walkin around.

  On 11/30/2020 at 10:49 AM, dingformung said:

Isn't grilled cheese a good compromise between cooking and not cooking?

Why yes it is, and that's exactly what I'm going to do rn. Thanks for the lovely inspiration; I wasn't in the mood for pasta and had momentarily forgotten about the other option.

Another option for instant removal of hunger with minimal effort is using the steamer compartment of the rice cooker. I especially like steamed tomatoes. Rice with steamed vegetables & a good soy sauce can already be an amazing meal. Of course it's missing proteins but you can put an egg into the steamer, too (also easy to peel that way).

  On 11/30/2020 at 2:21 PM, dingformung said:

Anything with soy sauce is an amazing meal.

Edit: and that includes cardboard.

SFWP: I spent half the day online looking for a new laptop and printer, and now it's 3 p.m., I've just eaten six slices of grilled cheese toast (I hate you, @dingformung, how could you do that to me?) and feel like taking a nap, but I have all the day's work ahead of me. FML.

  On 11/30/2020 at 4:34 AM, Hugh Mughnus said:

Fwp I’m starting my new job tomorrow. Excited but nervous AF. Haven’t been in this position (starting at a new company) for almost a decade. It’s a leadership role so meeting my team of 20ish tomorrow to basically say “hi I’m your boss now”. Ugh

I hope the culture is as progressive as they advertise... looking for a new working family not a group of subordinates

Now you can pull your dick out and masturbate in front of ppl... Don't forget to firstly ask politely...

  On 11/30/2020 at 3:21 PM, Tim_J said:

Now you can pull your dick out and masturbate in front of ppl... Don't forget to firstly ask politely...

Sounds like a clear-cut win-win to me tbqf.

  On 11/30/2020 at 2:53 PM, rhmilo said:

  On 11/30/2020 at 2:21 PM, dingformung said:

Anything with soy sauce is an amazing meal.

Edit: and that includes cardboard.

I recently got this Korean brand:

And it tastes so good. A bit less salty and more sweet than other soy sauces.

FWP: I live in an apartment that has such high rooms that heating it takes a long time

  On 11/30/2020 at 4:34 AM, Hugh Mughnus said:

It’s a leadership role so meeting my team of 20ish tomorrow to basically say “hi I’m your boss now”. Ugh

you mean you're leaving the proletariat class to become one of "them?" how dare you! I know there's a certain someone here that won't be too happy about that...

but seriously, congrats dude. being unemployed is the worst, so stressful. and at least starting in a leadership role keeps the line fairly drawn. I had a job once where I went from worker bee to manager and hated it. went from being friends and shooting the shit with everyone, to having to then give them orders, keep everyone busy, and "coach" them. I never was able to handle the transition, wearing a different hat, so to speak, and ended up quitting. there were other factors as well in that decision, but still.

pickles don't belong on breakfast sandwiches. period. that's a hamburger. 15 pounds includes delivery though right? because nope. 

EggSLUT? lols.. if a restaurant had SLUT in its name here in portland it would las a week. it'd get picketed and shamed etc for use of the word. a few years ago a restaurant opened that had typical english breakfast stuff and "colonial" food and it was too controversial and was picketed. ended up on the news, in the papers etc and closed. 

eggs, grilled cheese, bowl of honey nut cherios, fruit smoothie.. these are the compromises of not wanting to cook.. oh an ordering a large pizza.. eating half and then eating the other half the next day. i typically cook one day and eat the left overs for 2 more days. cooking every day is too much to think about. 

This involves a bit of prep but is pretty straightforward.

Make a thai dressing.  Start off with equal parts by volume: 

salty (fish sauce, soy at a push) 

sweet (palm sugar syrup, but white sugar will do, reduce amount) 

sour (lime juice, or maybe tamarind at a push) 

Pimp it with chile, ideally fresh but dried can work.  You could also add in finely sliced garlic, shallots, ginger, lemongrass or any combination.

Adjust seasoning to your own particular taste.  You can at this point give the dressing 20 seconds in a medium hot clean wok/pan to help bring the flavours together, but I usually miss this out, less washing up.  Also if you get the timing wrong your lime juice will go bitter.

Dress a salad.  Add in a protein.  Chopped up fried eggs or tinned tuna are both good, cheap and easy.  Garnish with coriander.

You've now made either Yam Khai Dao (eggs) or Yam 'Tuna'. 

Serve with rice.  This hits a sweet spot of just enough work to feel like you're not a slob, but is still quick and easy and will make any day feel a bit better.  It's also reasonably well balanced if you don't overdose on the rice.

  On 11/30/2020 at 4:41 PM, dingformung said:

 

FWP: I live in an apartment that has such high rooms that heating it takes a long time

Your upstairs neighbors, on the other hand, enjoy free floor heating.

  On 11/30/2020 at 7:01 PM, ignatius said:

eggs, grilled cheese, bowl of honey nut cherios, fruit smoothie.. these are the compromises of not wanting to cook.. oh an ordering a large pizza.. eating half and then eating the other half the next day. i typically cook one day and eat the left overs for 2 more days. cooking every day is too much to think about. 

You just described my life style. *searches cabin for hidden spy cam*

since we seem to be discussing quick and easy meals - just wanted to comment that the ramen noodle selections available today at grocery stores have really improved from back when I was first out on my own and figuring out how to cook. the Thai "Mama" noodle selections are all pretty decent. not that you should eat them often thanks to the raging sodium levels, but every now and again they come in handy. I think the Tom Yum flavored one is the best.

Stick some chiles and garlic under the grill until the skin is charred but not burnt to a crisp.  Larger chiles work best, but you can try a mixture and throw in some birds eye chiles if you like it extra hot.  Let them cool and take garlic out of skin.  Chiles are fine  leave the burnt skin on, but chop them up.  Mash up with pestle and mortar to a coarse paste.  Add a pinch of salt and a pinch of white sugar.  Add just enough vinegar, ideally coconut but any white Asian vinegar will work, to cover and mash all together.  You've now got burnt chile vinegar that is infinitely nicer than sriracha and works with just about any noodle dish as a condiment.  Also works well with Thai braised meat dishes like Pa Lo.

  On 11/30/2020 at 11:42 PM, zero said:

since we seem to be discussing quick and easy meals - just wanted to comment that the ramen noodle selections available today at grocery stores have really improved from back when I was first out on my own and figuring out how to cook. the Thai "Mama" noodle selections are all pretty decent. not that you should eat them often thanks to the raging sodium levels, but every now and again they come in handy. I think the Tom Yum flavored one is the best.

The one with the fire breathing chicken on it is sensational 

Prik nam pla is the quintessential thai seasoning/dip and at its simplest its just diced chile soaked in fish sauce.  Adds an umami hit to just about anything, but dishes with fried eggs like pad krapow work well.  But you can take it further.  Tomatoes don't feature much in thai food but they do crop up in some mainly northern regional dishes.  If you soak them in fish sauce you get a double umami hit.  Slow roast or gently char first and then soak and you've got a triple hit.  Rice, fried eggs and these tomatoes makes a pretty great breakfast.

If you can get it i recommend the megachef brand of fish sauce.  Its worth paying a little bit extra.  If not the ubiquitous squid brand will do.  Vietnamese fish sauce, although often more artisanal, is a different flavour profile, being generally sweeter and milder.  Will work at a push but you will need to taste and reseason carefully. 

  On 10/21/2020 at 6:24 PM, kakapo said:

Just shat myself.  Not prone to this happening, took me by surprise.  Big enough mess that I had to strip down and get a shower.  Cat just sniffed me and looked at me in disgust while this was happening, which to be honest is a bit hypocritical considering I cleaned up after she was poorly.

  On 11/1/2020 at 12:45 AM, kakapo said:

It happened again.  In a way I was lucky as I couldn't get to the toilet in time, which meant I was fully clothed and it was contained.  I blame nominative determinism.

  On 12/1/2020 at 12:04 AM, kakapo said:

Stick some chiles and garlic under the grill until the skin is charred but not burnt to a crisp.  Larger chiles work best, but you can try a mixture and throw in some birds eye chiles if you like it extra hot.  Let them cool and take garlic out of skin.  Chiles are fine  leave the burnt skin on, but chop them up.  Mash up with pestle and mortar to a coarse paste.  Add a pinch of salt and a pinch of white sugar.  Add just enough vinegar, ideally coconut but any white Asian vinegar will work, to cover and mash all together.  You've now got burnt chile vinegar that is infinitely nicer than sriracha and works with just about any noodle dish as a condiment.  Also works well with Thai braised meat dishes like Pa Lo.

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I was going to try this but now I'm not so sure.

No coffee after 6 goddammit why do I keep doing it anyway